Sonic Adventures Saga
by Tails the kill of kills
Summary: Sonic must venture forth with the help of a variety of new friends and allies to face a new host of danger. Watch as he fights his way to a new age of New World Order. But does he shape fateor will fate shape him?
1. Act one: Neighborhood Watch

Sonic Adventures

Act 1: Neighborhood Watch 1

Goofy, Sonic, Daffy, Tails and Mario decided to go to the park. Sonic made sure to bring a weapon with him. He didn't like how some of these mothers looked at him. With fear and hatred. His friends thought he was paranoid. As they came closer to the park, the sound of children playing became louder. Daffy began smoking a cigar. "Hey, put that shit out. There are kids nearby" Tails demanded.

"Fuck those kids. The Gods will strangle them in their sleep" Daffy said as he took a puff. Tails slapped Daffy causing him to let go of his cigar. Goofy stomped that shit out. "Fuck you guys!" Daffy yelled.

Just then a mother exited the park and slapped Daffy with soap, "Watch your mouth!" she yelled.

"Shut up bitch!" Sonic yelled. The mother glared at him. He pulled a pistol on her.

Sonic's friends gasped. "Sonic no!" Tails yelled. Sonic ignored him, "I'll kill you right here!" he threatened. The mother quickly slapped the gun down and roadhouse kicked Sonic in the face. Sonic fell to the floor defeated. "You won't defeat me!" Daffy yelled charging at the mother. The mother jumped back and dodged all of Daffy's swings. She then took him down with a savage upper cut. "Holy shit!" Mario said. He quickly covered his mouth and the mother nodded at him.

The group retrieved their fallen members and fled. Tails dropped $450 dollars by mistake. The mother picked it up. It'd go to her son's college funds.

As Sonic and Daffy slowly came to, Tails devised a plan to steal his money back. "Fuck this shit. We go and kill everyone" Mario said. "No, I think we should rob a bank" Goofy said.

"No. I got a better idea" Sonic said as all eyes turned to him, "I say we start a neighborhood watch"

"Fuck you bitch" Goofy said. It was clear that he was embezzling funds out of neighborhood groups. Should word spread, he'd have to leave town immediately and possibly change his name. No, he would not do that. Not this time. Sonic was moving over to him to strike. He'd have to act fast in order to make this convincing.

"Wait"

Sonic paused.

"I changed my mind. This... This is a good idea actually. I've got a few people in mind for our committee group" Goofy said. He pulled out a phone, "I'll give them a ring right now" Goofy said as he left the room. Sonic smiled, "We meet every 2nd Tuesdays at 3"

Sonic turned to address his remaining friends. "Well? What do you guys think?" He asked, "It's a good idea. But I want to sell stuff like ice cream or rip off games" Mario said. We can do both ideas really. The group will meet once a month?" Taiol asked. Sonic shook his head, "Twice"

"Twice a month and let me guess... Nightly checks?" Tails asked. Sonic nodded. What he didn't mention was the kidnappings, money laundering and public executions that would forever taint the name of the Neighborhood Watch. They would be as Gods and let the power consume them whole. Soon they would become something they dare not be. Something more monstrous than what they first were. Whom among the noble fair people would be able to stand up to such a fiendish group?

As Sonic prepared to set his plans in motion, he paused. He thought back to a time where he was standing by a window overlooking a beautiful view of the city. He was holding a glass of wine and pondering his life. He wondered whether butterflies danced with the moth blow the flames. He wondered if birds could be people too. There was a knock on the door suddenly.

It was his date. She wore a stunning blue sparkling star dress. The Gods envied her, they wanted the dress for themselves. The Gods went to the store and bought the Starlight Blue dress which cost $59.75 each. The Gods paid via Ghosts and pieces of gold. Each gold piece was at the highest purity ever recorded: 99.99%. The Gods laughed as they were now stunning as well.

Sonic's date however cared not for the Gods. She had her eyes set on Sonic. Sonic was the CEO of a racing business. He made millions in ticket sales and merchandise. He even had a few shows dedicated to his racers. His employees loved him as he them. He paid fairly and offered the best. Sonic looked back at his beautiful date. She was tan and had long flowing black hair. She stood beside him as he poured her some wine. Their two glasses clanked and they looked out at the view. What Sonic didn't know was that Shadow had snuck into his apartment.

Shadow threw a piece of wet paper that was wrapped in bacon at Sonic.

"Shadow! What the fuck did you throw at me?" Sonic said surprised. He looked at the object and dropped it, "This is disgusting!"

"Shut up bitch!" Shadow yelled as he tackled Sonic through the window. The two fell for some time before being swallowed up by a giant fish that came out of the sea. Sonic instantly regretted moving to Big Fish city.

Sonic's daydream was interrupted by Tails, who slapped the shit out of him. "Wake up bitch" Tails said. "Fuck you Tails" Sonic said as he tried to daydream again instead of plan the creation of the Neighborhood Watch group. He had decided fuck the group.

Goofy had returned with three strange people. A man with a fancy mustache named Jack, a living bomb named Ryan and a vampire called Count Mack. People called the vampire CM. Goofy introduced his guests to his friends. Mario spat on Ryan's hand as Ryan did the same to Mario's hand. They shook hands. Jack tried to strangle Sonic but was tazed by Tails. Tails also tazed Sonic because fuck that guy.

Knuckles showed up and gave Sonic $40 for helping him fix his car. Jack pulled out a knife, "Have at thee for it is I" Jack announced. He lunged at Knuckles. But knuckles was too strong and choke slammed Jack to the ground. "Fuck you" Knuckles spat on Jack's face and walked away. Sonic was excited about the money he received from Knuckles. He and Daffy could finally buy the chicken club sandwiches. They'd hide the food in a briefcase and walk around town until they were attacked. That way they'd be justified when they got into a fight. But this plan would have to wait until after they established the neighborhood watch.

"Damnit" Sonic said.

"Shut up bitch" Daffy replied

Sonic tackled Daffy and began pummelling the black duck with fists of anger. Goofy slammed his foot into Sonic's face. Sonic got off Daffy and prepared to fight Goofy. "Stop!" Mario said. He and Tails went to stand beside Goofy. "Fucking bastards" Sonic said. Knuckles kicked Daffy in the face face and left.

"What the fuck!" Daffy said as he got up. "Fuck you Daffy!" Sonic yelled. Mario slammed his fist into Sonic's jaw. Tails tripped Sonic. Goofy pulled off his belt and began whipping Sonic with it.

Ryan smiled and ran over to the action. He soon began to kick Sonic. Count Mack pulled out a hamburger from his pocket and a crispy chicken pattie from another. He did the unbelievable and combined the two. He then pulled out some sauce and put some on the Burger. Along with two slices of cheese, four strips of bacon and lettuce. Count Mack Began to scream loudly. His screaming stopped the fight but also stoked his already massive ego.

The scream attracted a group of thugs. They walked over to Count Mack and slapped him. One of the thugs took the burger. "Hey!" Daffy yelled. Sonic and his attackers attacked the thugs. Mario tackled and strangled a thug. Sonic pulled out a pistol and shot the thugs in the foot. Tails, Goofy and Ryan cut off the downed thugs arms and hands with handsaws. Tails slapped a thug with his own hands. Soon they would cut off the feet and legs.

The thugs screams could be heard from blocks away, but none dared to help. Soon everyone got bored and slit the thugs throats. Count Mack decided to kill himself by putting a pistol in his mouth and pulling the trigger. He had gotten the pistol from Sonic after trading 6 magic chicken club sandwiches for Sonic's pistol. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said after the trade. Sonic had slapped Count Mack and also tried to set the Count's hair on fire. Daffy had sprayed Sonic with a hose after taking the sandwiches.

The Count's suicide had failed. He healed from his wounds.

Sonic decided to make an announcement after drying himself off with one of Mario's magic capes. "Thanks Mario" Sonic said. Mario nodded at the blue hedgehog. "Okay. This day shall mark the formation of the Neighborhood Watch" Sonic said, "Now let's go save the Neighborhood!"

The group cheered.

For the next three weeks, the new Neighborhood Watch began protecting the neighborhood. They spray painted their Sigil on many houses, they harassed high schoolers who were walking home, they caused car accidents and they cheated in card games.

A biker gang drove into town. As they stopped briefly at a gas station, one of the bikers looked around. Many of the citizens were heavily armed. "Did something happen?" One of the bikers asked. "Woah woah woah. Who the fuck are you?" Goofy asked as he walked over with a squad of Sunday hikers. They were sporting chainsaws and had fully automatic weapons on their backs. The bikers pulled out their weapons, the leader of the gang made himself known. "We don't want any trouble. We're just here to fuel up our bikes"

Goofy had his hikers attack the bikers with their chainsaws, the bikers responded with either bats or their own guns. The leader of the biker gang had ran at Goofy. Goofy threw a grenade at the gas station and ran. The biker leader ran after Goofy, but the explosion killed his gang and the hikers.

Goofy dropped some marbles on the floor. As he began to run faster, the biker leader ignored the marbles and ran around the dropped items. "Fuck you dog person!" He yelled. He pulled out a gun and shot Goofy in the leg.

Goofy fell to the floor. "Damn" Goofy said.

As the biker walked over to finish off his target, he didn't notice Mario behind him. Mario snapped the Biker's neck. "You ok!?" Mario asked. He helped his allow up and the two made their escape. Soon the police would be there.

Sonic

Sonic had created a secret base and gathered in secret dark sorcerers. As he left his minions to gather knowledge, he received a call. It was Daffy.

"What is it?" Sonic demanded

"You piece of shit. I'll fucking kill you. Get your ass over here, Goofy was attacked" Daffy yelled.

"Fuck Goofy. I hope he fucking dies" Sonic hung up his phone. He called Tails.

"Where the fuck are you Sonic? Get here now" Tails demanded.

"I'll beat your ass fox boy. Fucking worthless trash" Sonic replied. He hung up.

Sonic rushed over to the Neighborhood Watch's usual meeting ground. He walked into the scene with a shotgun. The meet area had a desk that sat the entire committee. "I'll fucking kill everyone here. What do you cunts need? Sonic demanded. "FUCKING SCUM! SHOW SOME RESPECT! " Daffy yelled.

"I AM YOUR LEADER!" Sonic yelled back. Tails stood up, "I'll fucking kill you"

Sonic laughed.

"Enough" Mario said, "Goofy was attacked. We need a plan"

"Let's go burn down another store" Daffy suggested.

"No. We need to bring about another public execution" Goofy said.

"But who do we execute?" Sonic questioned.

Tails walked over to Sonic and slammed his head to the meeting desk. Tails began punching Sonic's sides as Sonic screamed. Daffy got up, grabbed his chair and ran over to Tails. He wacked Tails with the chair. Mario threw fireballs at the three.

"I guess the Neighborhood Watch meeting is done" Goofy said as he left. He had a cast on his leg and had to use crutches. He left.

Mario ran at Daffy and slammed his fist into his enemy's stomach. Sonic and Tails fought on top of the desk.

As they fought, Shadow walked in and unleashed a Chaos blast. The four Committee members fell to the floor. "Yes, kneel before me" Shadow said as he looked over his fallen 'friends'.

"Shadow... Why are you here?" Tails asked.

"Shut up bitch" Shadow said, "I'll call my boys on you". He left.

Everyone got up. "Wait. Where are the other three members?" Sonic asked. "The Count had a doctor's appointment. Ryan is at work and that other guy is a bitch" Daffy explained. Jack walked in, "Thee fuck you say Duck?" He asked. Daffy walked over to Jack and spat on his shoe. Jack punched Daffy in the face and another fight began.

"Fuck this. I'm going home" Sonic said. Mario tripped Sonic and began kicking Sonic. Tails joined in. After a few seconds, the two left.

The fight between Daffy and Jack was going poorly. Daffy was picked up and thrown at Sonic. Jack left. "Get off me bitch!" Sonic yelled. Daffy quickly got up and kicked Sonic in the face. "FUCK YOU!" Daffy yelled. Daffy ran out of the meeting area to find and attack Jack again.

Sonic slowly got up and patted himself off. He decided to call Tails again. "What do you want Hedgehog?" Tails demanded. "Fuck you bitch. I'll beat your ass. I'm coming for you right now!" Sonic yelled.

"Bring it bitch!" Tails yelled back. Tails hung up.

Sonic decided to go buy some chips from the store instead. On his way there, he noticed Daffy running from Jack. Jack face was smeared with what looked like green goo. Sonic threw a rock at Jack. "Damn you hedgehog!" Jack yelled. He changed targets but before he could began his chase, Sonic yelled something. "I'm going to buy some lunch. Come with me!"

Jack and Daffy thought about this for a moment. "Sure. Why not" Daffy threw Jack a wash cloth. After wiping his face off, he apologized for his actions. "Fuck your actions. We're allies" Daffy said. Jack smiled and the three were off.

However, Tails was watching. He landed in front of Sonic. "Where you going bitch?" Tails demanded. "To the store, want to come?" Sonic asked.

Tails tackled Sonic and slammed his fist against Sonic's jaw. Sonic threw Tails off him, "Fuck you bitch" Sonic yelled. "Let's get out of here!" Daffy yelled. Sonic, Daffy and Jack ran away as Tails got up.

A police officer passed by and quickly pulled over. He pulled out his gun and fired at Tails. Tails hid behind a mailbox and pulled out a laser gun. "What do you want from me?" Tails demanded.

"You're going to die here committee fool!" The cop yelled. The cop knew that he had to take down the Neighborhood Watch one at a time. The Neighborhood Watch had quickly became the city's new King Pins of crime. There was nothing the Mayor could do as he was a weak fool. It was up to the police to attempt to kill the problem with as much violence and bloodshed as possible.

Tails fired his laser gun and destroyed the cop car. It killed the cop and Tails went on his way. He could not find where Sonic and the others had went and thus gave up.

Mario

Mario was at the mall with a group of pizzaboys. The pizzaboys had surrounded Mario as they demanded things. "There are too many people doing bad things" a pizzaboy said. Mario pulled out a knife and jabbed it in the poor boy's throat. "Shut up bitch" Mario said as he watched the pizzaboy bleed out on the floor. The other boys of pizza backed up. "We don't want any trouble" another pizzaboy said.

Just then a police squad car did a drive by. The incoming bullets slaughtered the pizzaboys. Mario had used one as a human shield. The car had sped off as Mario threw fireballs at it. His fireballs missed. Some of the fireballs either destroyed parts of the city or killed innocent bystanders. Mario cared not. He was part of the Neighborhood Watch, he could kill as many people because of that fact. Fuck those people.

Mario spotted Sonic. He was holding a briefcase and was being followed by two other committee members. Mario ran over to them. "Hey bitch" Daffy greeted. "Fuck you duck" Sonic said, he turned and slammed the briefcase into Daffy's face. Mario laughed at Daffy. Jack pulled out a knife, "I'll kill you right here" he threatened Mario.

Mario ignored the threats, "Together we are strong"

"Fine" Sonic said as he slapped Jack's hand. Jack submitted and allowed his knife to drop. "Good. We will come out and defeat our enemies" Mario said.

As they traveled through the store, they realized that the Neighborhood Watch was useless. "Should we break up the group? We haven't actually done anything worthwhile" Sonic said.

"Shut up bitch" Daffy said. He slammed his fist into Sonic's face. Sonic screamed as he fell to the floor. The whole falling part took at least 45 seconds to be completed. By the time Sonic actually fell down, Daffy had already started smoking a cigar. Sonic quickly got up and kicked Daffy in the stomach. Mario didn't care as he was still plotting. Jack was standing in the corner attempting to look menacing but ended up as another edgelord stuck in his mother's basement.

As Daffy and Sonic fought, Luigi entered the scene. "Call off your safety group and I'll call off mine"

"What the fuck brother!?" Mario demanded to know.

"Join me brother and together we shall rule the neighborhood" Luigi shouted. "What about us?" Daffy asked, Luigi looked into Daffy's mouth by force. "You three will join at a later date" Luigi said, "But for now we shall plan"

"Understood" Sonic said.

 **End of Act one**


	2. Special Zone 1

Sonic Adventures: Side stories

Special Zone: The briefcase

Shadow was walking to the store. On his way there he spotted Sonic and Daffy with a briefcase. Wanting to know what was inside it, Shadow pulled out a pistol and fired at it.

"WHAT THE FUCK BITCH?!" Daffy yelled.

Sonic pulled out his own gun and fired back at Shadow. Shadow hid behind a large rock and yelled out, "Why are you attacking me?"

"Come out here and die!" Sonic replied. He and Daffy pulled out knives and ran across the street. Sonic had placed the briefcase on the floor. A mail carrier picked it up.

"This is mine now!" The carrier announced.

Sonic ran after the carrier while Daffy dealt with Shadow. "Come out and face me, coward!" He exclaimed. Shadow revealed himself and also five dollars. Daffy placed the money in his wallet, "Thanks for contributing to my retirement fund" Daffy said.

He and Shadow ran to catch up with Sonic. Sonic had however, caught up with the carrier and was beating him senselessly with a wooden bat. He would let the Carrier live, seeing as how the bat had left many splinters in his skin.

"What's in the case?" Shadow asked after pickpocketing Daffy for his five dollars. "Bitch! Don't steal from me!" Daffy yelled. He took his wallet back and bitch slapped Shadow. Shadow slammed his fist into Daffy's stomach.

Sonic slapped Shadow with the briefcase. "It's None of your Business as to what resides in this briefcase, bitch" Sonic stated. He and Daffy spat on Shadow, who was still on the ground. Daffy kicked Shadow in the face.

As the two left, Shadow slowly got up. He briefly considered shooting the two assholes in the back before just deciding to go to the store. He wipes off the spit and walks away. However, he finds a rock.

Shadow turns and chucks it at Daffy. It hits him and Daffy rubs his head. Sonic is the first to react, "What the fuck?!" Sonic turns and runs at Shadow.

Shadow laughs as Sonic tackles him and begins slamming fist after fist into his face. Shadow unleashes his Chaos blast, knocking Sonic back.

"You're a fucker for this!" Daffy yelled. He had a taser.

Shadow jumped back. "Suck my balls" Shadow yelled as he ran away. A cop car passed by. Upon seeing Shadow running, the cop pulls over.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The cop yelled.

Shadow pauses. "I need you to wear this hat" the cop said, placing a Rice a Roni hat on Shadow. The cop then leaves, speeding off to destinations unknown forever. Daffy and Sonic had by then caught up with Shadow. Daffy tried to taze Shadow, but quickly found out that he was immune. "Shit" Daffy said. He tossed the taser away. A kid picked up the taser and took it apart. The kid used the parts to build a Mega Buster.

Sonic opened the briefcase and in it was 5 chicken club sandwiches. They traded one for the Mega Buster. The kid agreed as he had already built 45 of them and was hungry. Shadow found out what was in the briefcase and was pissed.

"Fuck you guys" He said. He finally went to the store.

 **End of Zone**


	3. Act Two: Chapter one

Sonic Adventures

Act 2: Chapter One: Kill

In a floating fortress barely five feet off the ground was Sonic's secret hidden base. While many knew it belonged to Sonic, what they did not know was what he did there. For years, Sonic and his Dark servants have gathered in secret to experiment and dabble in the dark arts. They had been slowing collecting the knowledge needed to bring things to life. "Perhaps we should try a word?" One follower said, "Perhaps. But abstract things such as words would be quite hard to bring to life. They have no actual physical form" another said. "But is it possible?" Sonic asked.

There was a brief silence.

"Yes" someone finally spoke up.

Together all the dark followers used their combined effort to bring a word to life. Everyone except Sonic. As to be expected, the followers died instantly, their bodies turning into pure energy and disappearing. "This was a waste of time" Sonic muttered to himself. Seeing that nothing happened, he concluded that more research was required.

But then,

The word kill came to life with a audible pop! It knew what it had to do. Sonic knew it as well, "Damnit!" Sonic yelled as he jumped out the window. "He'll be back" Kill said after instantaneously learning how to speak in complete sentences and the entire English language at the same time.

Sonic ran to his best friend, Tails's house. Seeing as Tails was smart, Sonic assumed he already knew the situation. "Tails! What's your plan?" Sonic asked, "I don't know. I was thinking about making a sandwich and maybe taking a nap. But then again I did get a new book in the mail I've been meaning to check out"

"Fuck you Tails!" Sonic yelled as he ran out of Tails's house. He ran over to Knuckles house. Knuckles was frying some burgers on the grill in the backyard. He had a few familiar faces over. "Hey Sonic! You're just in time for the BBQ party I'm having!" Knuckles said inviting Sonic over to the place where he was located at and Sonic wasn't. Sonic wanted to become there, so he did. Sonic looked around and saw Mario and Luigi, Goofy, Daffy Duck and Shadow. Sonic greeted them and only Shadow called him a bitch ass punk. "You better bring my fruity pebbles next time nigga or I'll call my boys" Shadow threatened.

Sonic flipped Shadow off using the power of supreme hate and began to speak. "Guys, the word kill hath cometh to life!"

Everyone including sonic screamed as they knew what was going to happen. "Did Tails make a plan?" Mario asked, "No. He was going to take a nap" Sonic replied.

"Damn him. We should sacrifice him to the Gods!" Daffy Duck said.

Everyone agreed except for Knuckles who stated that Tails might not have known what was going on because Tails isn't a fucking omnipotent being. The statement was ignored. "Well what do we do now?" Luigi asked.

Shadow pulled out a blunt and everyone nodded. "We could hide in the basement and hope he doesn't find us or we could hit this blunt and have a BBQ party" Shadow announced. Everyone agreed.

Knuckles pulled out some hot dogs, steaks and ribs to cook. He had a wide variety of side dishes to go along with the meals. Daffy had brought chips and soda. The Mario Bros made their famous bean dip. The party would go on.

 _Meanwhile_ ,

Kill made its way to the store. It tried to knock on the automatic doors but they moved before it could touch one. People saw this and stared. "FUCK YOU PEOPLE! DEATH WILL BE IN YOUR POCKET!" Kill yelled.

Kill was right. The people nearby Kill felt something in there pocket and when they checked what it was, they instantly died. Kill entered the store and looked around. It floated to the cereal section and picked up a box. Fruity pebbles. It ate the box and felt as if God himself was being born in its stomach only to be killed by a Sniper hiding in the building next to the spawn site. Fucking campers.

Kill wanted revenge against this interesting metaphor of eating food for the first time ever as the Sniper hated fruity pebbles. How Kill knew this, no one knows.

A sales clerk pulled out a gun and fired it in the air, "ATTENTION SHOPPERS! EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE!" he yelled. People panicked as the clerk fired randomly into the store. A cop hid and called for backup but his radio was broken due to the fact ThunderGuy showed up and shocked him with lightning.

The cop died but came back to life to be killed again. After turning the cop to ash, ThunderGuy killed himself. "Good" the clerk said, watching the whole thing.

Kill grabbed a tub of ice cream and began eating it with its bare hands. An middle aged women saw and punched Kill in the face, "Fuck you!" the woman yelled in Kill's face and licked the ice cream off Kill's face.

Kill liked this.

It began to rub ice cream all over its body causing the woman to lick all over. Her husband saw and punched Kill. Kill pushed the woman aside and prepared to fight only to catch the Husband in its arms. The clerk had shot the Husband in the head, killing him instantly. Kill and the woman cried as the clerk laughed in the background.

 _Back to Sonic,_

Sonic was eating a hotdog when the SWAT team drove by. The van stopped and turned around. "Are you guys eating BBQ?" The driver asked. "Hell yeah! Let me bring you guys some food" knuckles said. He quickly made a few to go plates

"Thanks Sasuke" the driver said as he took the plates of food from knuckles. "We're going to stop evil at Wal-Mart. A clerk is killing people there" the driver said.

"Bring us back his head. The Gods will give you gold and small animals as a reward" Daffy Duck said. But the SWAT team wanted women and gold pieces of cheese. The driver reached out and slapped Daffy like the bitch he was. "Motherfucker! I'll allow you to have that one!" Daffy yelled and everyone laughed. The SWAT team v left only to die when they passed Tails house. Tails activated a Deathray to blow up the van, killing the team but teleporting the food inside his house.

Sonic saw and called Tails on his phone. "Tails! Why did you kill the SWAT team? The Gods will assassinate your parents and leave their bodies on my doorstep like a fucked up animal that I will kick. I don't want to get 15 to life and have to cause a prison riot to escape jail via the sewer system with a plastic spoon with a guy named Larry the facefucker. If that happens, I'll let Larry use your face like a cum dumpster"

"Fuck you Sonic. I didn't want to go to the store because I need more bread. They had food but now it's mine" Tails said back, "If I see you show your face in my house, I'll hit you with a bat"

Sonic hung up the phone and ran to Tails house. After getting hit in the face with a bat, he ran back to Knuckles backyard. Tails called. "Yeah?" Sonic asked as he answered the phone.

"You're a fucking idiot!" Tails yelled.

Sonic hung up the phone.

 _Back to Kill,_

Kill was making out with the woman on her husband's dead body. They took turns pouring melted ice cream on each other's bodies.

The clerk was being assaulted by his co-workers. They tackled him and wrestled the gun out of his hand. "DAMN YOU! I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE" he yelled and his hands were tied behind his back.

Police and SWAT team units burst into the store and the situation was under control. The dead bodies were taken out and people were questioned. The deaths that Kill caused earlier were pinned on an escaped bear from the zoo who learned Dark magic and was addicted to cocaine.

The woman kept Kill as her new Husband seeing how superior in life Kill was.

 _Meanwhile,_

The BBQ party was going by perfectly. Rouge the bat came over with princess Peach, Cream the rabbit, 3 lady wood elves, Amy Rose and Margaret from Regular show for some reason. Goofy pulled out a bong from a pocket dimension and the party began to get wild and chill.

But what Goofy didn't know was that Zargak the Kill of kills was on his way for revenge. As the party went on, so did the growth of Zargak's hatred for Goofy and potato Salad. Goofy brought potato salad to the party for it was only he who made the best one. Zargak knew and thus his hatred grew wings and strangled babies in midair.

Before long, Goofy was making out with a wood elf on the ground with a chair leaning against him. Goofy was about to make the leap to 3rd base when he sensed a presence. It was Zaloon the barboon.

"Gwaaash, I didn't know you survived the epic pirate battle we had 6 days ago Zaloon. But you ain't gonna survive in a one on one combat situation right now. Not when my friends are here" Goofy said.

Zaloon spat on the ground, "I come with a warning. Heed it well for Zargak the Kill of kills has returned"

"WHAT? That's impossible!" Goofy yelled.

Zaloon flew into the sky and into the sun to avoid any questions Goofy might have for his job was done. "Damnit" Sonic said as he heard the whole thing. He had no idea who anyone was, but he knew trouble was on the way. For sure this time.


	4. Act Two: Chapter two

Chapter Two: The meet up

Tails was eating a hot dog from Knuckles BBQ party yesterday when he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door slowly and hid a 9mm behind his back. At the door was Cream the rabbit. "Oh it's just you. I thought it was Zargak the Kill of kills or Eggman or even Hamster Man-made" Tails said.

He let Cream into his house and she quickly sat on the couch in the living room. "Would you like some juice or something?" Tails asked, "No, I'm here for sex" Cream stated. Tails looked her over and noticed she was high as fuck.

"Sex? With me?" Tails asked nervously, "No, sex with your cat" Cream replied sarcastically then quickly added, "Yes Tails, sex with you. Idiot." Cream laughed. "Alright. Let's do this!" Tails announced, leading Cream up to his room.

Sonic broke into Tails house as Tails closed his bedroom door. Sonic took out 3 sodas from the kitchen and drank them all really fast. It was faster than a fat man rolling down the hill on fire while holding a gun and shooting all the windows out on random houses he rolled past because only he could have good things. Once he reached the bottom of the hill, the townspeople beat him to death with blunt objects and filled his corpse with broken glass. They shot at his body with AK-47s they stole from the Russian mafia and set the body on fire. The Russian mafia found out and murdered every man, women and child in the town in their sleep. The day was known as "Goodnight Sweetheart" day and celebrated as a second Valentine day because fuck you. Of course the Russian mafia discovered the ashes of the fat man and snorted it right then and there.

Sonic sat on the couch and waited for Goofy to sneak in. Goofy just used the front door and sat by Sonic. "My greatest enemy is also Tails enemy too?" Goofy asked and Sonic nodded. "Gwaash, small world"

Sonic cleared his throat, "I'm hoping Tails won't be useless this time and will come up with a plan"

Goofy went into the kitchen and looked around for sandwich ingredients. Seeing no bread, he just grabbed a soda, "Tails needs more bread. But you really think he can help us?"

"Of course he can" Sonic said.

Daffy Duck walked into the house and sat next to Sonic, "Still planning on the attack?" Daffy asked.

"We're waiting for Tails to finish fucking Cream," Sonic said. Goofy walked back in holding his soda and a plate of leftover food from the BBQ. As Goofy ate, Daffy took out a chicken leg and took a bite. Sonic pulled out a ham and cheese on two tiny crackers and took a bite.

"I hope he doesn't attack us soon" Goofy said, Sonic laughed and pat Goofy on the back, "We'll be fine. Tails is a genius"

Daffy punched sonic in the face, "You better be right. I'm not going to look for a new roommate" Daffy threatened. "Fuck you bitch. I'll have Duck for Dinner tonight" Sonic threatened back. Goofy and Daffy pulled out knives and Sonic pulled out a revolver.

"Ahem!" Tails announced as he walked down the stairs with a sawed off shotgun, "I'll kill all three of you. But we're all friends, right?"

Everyone nodded and Sonic told Tails why they were here.

"Zargak the Kill of kills is a bitch I've been meaning to kill myself" Tails said, "He's on my list too" Goofy said. The two locked eyes and became blood brothers as their number one enemy was Hamster Man-made. That thing was a piece of shit.

Cream walked halfway down the stairs covered in the bedsheet, "Are you coming back soon?" She asked, "Yes, just give me a minute" Tails replied and Cream returned to the bedroom.

"What do we do?" Sonic asked

"We wait. Zargak is smart and planning for someone that smart isn't very smart since he can read minds" Tails itched his belly, "But we'll play it by ear"

"Should we call forth a God?" Goofy suggested, "Nah, Gods are assholes" Sonic said.


	5. Act Two: Chapter three

Chapter Three: Food Truck Knux

Knuckles sat in his office looking over a few papers. He scratched his chin and took a long drink from his 8 gallon coffee mug. "Hmm. If I don't invade this part of the city, the Zoo-Cats who freed that bear that one time will"

Espio who was also in the room replied, "Knuckles, I believe it best to strike at midnight"

"I could, but that's also when Kill is most active. While he has shown no interest in our group or any of our friends, there's a high possibility he might" Knuckles explained.

Espio laughed, "Alright, but at least let me snoop around some more" Knuckles smiled, "Fine. I'll give you two days," he said.

"Thank you. You've become so wise very quickly. This is... Nice" Espio said as he made his way to the door to leave.

Knuckles sat in his office alone. He thought to himself about how many enemies he has gained over the last few years of his life. Ever since he started his company, people just lined up to fight him and destroy all that was his. But he wouldn't let anyone win. He was going to sell the best food from his growing army of food trucks and no one would stop him!

His greatest obstacles were the Zoo-Cats and Eggman. While Eggman adopted the use of the shadows and sneak attacks, the Zoo-Cats just openly attacked. He had no idea how crazy these people were. He compared them often to a tree that would come to life and cut down other trees and throw lit cigarettes into forests. He hated the comparison and he hated the Zoo-Cats.

 _Now to kill,_

Kill woke up and looked around. It could smell that the middle aged women whom she called herself Mabel was cooking food to break the morning fast. It got out of bed and altered the universe in way where the universe itself clothed Kill. Pleased by this Kill made its way to the kitchen.

Mabel greeted Kill with the customary kiss on the face. It returned the favor, slipping its tongue in her mouth. She was more than pleased by this. But it would have to wait as she was cooking. Kill noted that all women belong in the kitchen, but also all men belonged in the kitchen as well. Everyone belonged in the kitchen and deserved to eat. Kill would visit Knuckles later and demand he expand his business so all may eat. Kill who was essentially a lower God demanded this.

Kill was also a concept. The act of killing was a component of violence. Without violence Kill was nothing. Kill was also a verb. An action. The act of killing.

Kill had a lot to think about.

 _Back to Knuckles_ ,

Knuckles invited Mario and Luigi over for some drinks. "Thanks for inviting us over knuckles" Mario said as he and his brother sat on the long comfy and connected chair. It could seat three or four people depending on the situation and had cushions for butt and back support. It also had 3 pillows, while the common one had 2.

"It's no problem, we're all friends here" Knuckles laughed. He poured fermented drinks into 3 cylinder containment units (the civilian version) that could secure drinkable and non drinkable liquids. "Do these drinks require extensive research into the theory of aquaculture or the power of Trident?" Luigi asked as he wasn't the head researcher in the Marine biology studies or ancient wisdom of the Deep Ones. Luigi just wanted a drink and to get wasted. The three laughed and knuckles explained that the writer was just being an douche.

But fuck knuckles.

Mario took a sip and instantly felt as if the Gods were licking and kissing every inch of him. Mario relaxed and dialed up a number on his phone.

"Hello? I need you right now. Come over to knuckles house"

After Mario hung up his phone he shouted, "we're about to get our dicks sucked!" Everyone cheered and things were looking good.

But then Donald Duck broke into the house via the window and threw a poison mushroom into Mario's open mouth, taking him down. "Mario!" Luigi's voice broke the awkward brief silence. "You're going to pay for that!" Knuckles yelled charging and swinging a fist at Donald once he was in range. Donald dodged each blow and landed a devastating punch on knuckles face. Knuckles stumbled back only to be head-butted. "Fucker!" Luigi yelled joining the fray.

As Knuckles and Luigi swung at Donald wildly, Donald was smoking a cigar while blocking the incoming fists one handedly. "Come on you chumps! Put up more of a fight!" The cigar smoking duck challenged. He slammed his fist into Luigi's face sending him flying into the wall. "Damn..." Knuckles cursed.

The duck took one step towards knuckles, took a puff from his cigar and left. Only because he knew knuckles was a bitch.

Knuckles helped Luigi up and together they cured Mario's poisoned condition. "Who was that?" Luigi asked, "I don't know. But since it was a duck, maybe Daffy might know" knuckles said.

"We can still get our dicks sucked though..." Mario said coming back to the waking world.

 _To Donald Duck_

Donald made his way to a fancy looking office building in the middle of a robot wonderland city. Almost all of the city inhabitants were robots or cyborgs. The only living creatures were in the main building in the middle of the city. This is where Donald was now. He took a last big puff of his cigar, threw it on the ground and stomped it out.

"Time to get paid" Donald said to himself as he entered the building. He talked to the receptionist robot and was told to wait until called. He sat on the long cushioned chair also known as a couch. Next to him were a couple of magazines of which he thusly ignored.

Next to Donald was Fang the Sniper also known as Nack the Weasel. Even though he wasn't actually a weasel, he did have a Nack for weaseling people out of their money. The nickname was basically a polite way of saying 'Fuck you'. "Been awhile hasn't it?" Fang asked, "Not long enough. I think I'll need a drink to forget this even happened" Donald replied.

"Robotnik sure has stepped up his game" Fang said ignoring Donald's earlier reply, "He's got good taste in freelancers. Well mostly" Fang pointed at the green duck, Bean the dynamite. Bean, who heard everything, flipped him off. Fang smiled brightly back at him.

"Why are you guys here?" Donald asked looking around at the assortment of goons, mercenaries and hired guns. Even Herman Schultz was there. "There's a big event that's going to be happening soon and the egghead wants us all there" Bean explained. "It's pretty rare fer the egg ta haveta call of us here don't ya think?" Herman said.

"You know what they say. A group this big means more money" Fang announced. "More money huh?" Donald replied mulling it all over.

The robot receptionist called out Donald's name for he was next to see Eggman.

Getting up, Donald looked back at Fang and said, "Big job with a huge payout? I'm in"


	6. Act Two: Chapter four

Chapter Four: Bread

Sonic, Goofy and Daffy followed Tails as he entered the store. "Why are we here?" Sonic asked. "You mean here on the planet called Earth? Forgive me. For not even me, a body of living life energy that is alive as I am clearly alive as well, can process an information cycle unit to properly obtain the answers you seek in a timely manner or at all" A robot slimebot answered as it passed through the floor. Daffy had quietly pulled out his knife and snuck up on the slimebot while it spoke. He slit the bot's throat and repeatedly stabbed it as it beeped in alarm. Sonic and Goofy began tugging off its limbs. Tails watched with approval.

"I'm here to just buy some bread. I don't know why you guys decided to follow me here" Tails finally answered. A low "finally" could be heard. It was Goofy who said that.

Sonic started smoking a cigar and made sure to blow the smoke directly in the children's faces as they passed. The parents either yelled or tried to attack him, both things were dodged easily. Daffy joined in and was punched in the face. "Fuck this!" Daffy yelled pulling out a revolver and shooting the soccer mom in the face. The group had to quickly leave because the cops were coming. At least Tails bought some bread.

"No more public shootings Daffy" Tails said. They were driving the probably dead soccer mom's minivan. They ditched it in the forest and walked back to Tails house.

"What!? You know that bitch had it coming!" Daffy exclaimed, "She was born to be killed by my hands!"

"Why were you and Sonic smoking cigars? I thought you two quit" Goofy asked, "Quitting cigars is like quitting sex with blonde chicks in Tails pool when he isn't home and Cumming all over his pool chairs" Sonic explained.

"I'm going to kick your ass when this is all over" Tails stated

"Bring it bitch" Sonic retorted.

Goofy went to stand by Tails, "He bought bread. I stand with him" Goofy spat out. "Traitor" Daffy said. He was by Sonic only because of the one time they had a 5 way with big boobed triplet models on top of a moving bus because one of the ladies had the ability to control the air. Daffy remembered this day because the middle sister would summon a creature with four heads that would fly to spit on their backs as they went at it wildly. He also remembered high fiving Sonic afterwards and smoking a cigar. Yes, he probably will not be able to bring himself to stop this addiction. He'd own up to it like sonic did because they were true friends and people needed to die. But anyway, the two sides stared off at each other and relaxed, "we'll have a bigger divide later if we drag our friends into this for a pretty sweet epic showdown climatic fight scene!" Tails said. "Hell yeah!" Everyone cheered.

The fight was postponed.

"Now that you got your bread, we can train in the mountains for 5 years in preparation for the arrival of the Kill of Kills" Goofy said. Tails scratched his chin, "If you give me a few hours, I can build up a device that should be able to train us in less than a year"

Goofy clapped his hands, "Gwaaash Tails, that sure sounds amazing!" He praised

"Sounds like you're pulling bullshit out of your ass and you intend to rub us with it" Sonic said, Daffy swung a bat that he found in the neighbor's house at Tails. Tails blocked it with a box that came in the mail. "You better not have broken this bitch!" Tails yelled.

"Let's stop this guys! We said we were going to settle this later, didn't we?" Goofy said, "I can't believe we're already back at this shit again"

"Fine... We'll recruit" Daffy tossed the bat to the side, "Come on Sonic" The two left the area.

"Thanks Goofy. Let's go prepare to Fight Gargak and then we can start to recruit people to our cause" Tails said as he and Goofy went into his house.

But however,

Outside of the house, standing on another house was Shadow the hedgehog. "Hmmm. It seems that a lot is going on" he stated to someone next to him. It was Mario and Luigi. "Perhaps. But depending on what'll happen. Me and my brother will side with whoever knuckles sides with" Mario replied. "Very well. Maybe we might even face each other" Shadow chuckled

Mario gave Shadow a look, "Then you'll have to bring your A game bitch"


	7. Act Two: Chapter five

Chapter Five: Everywhere

Mario and Luigi walked back to knuckles house after their brief conversation with Shadow. They sat on the couch. Mario pondered over his next move, would he tell Knuckles what happened or would he let his friend witness it firsthand and decide for himself?

"What did Shadow want?" Knuckles asked coming back into the room. He was holding a tray of food and drinks. "You know his type. Edgy bullshit as per usual" Luigi answered.

"That goddamn Edgelord. Of course he would want edgy bullshit" knuckles said. He sat the tray on the table and Mario grabbed a snack. It was a tuna melt sandwich. "We should do something about those Goons in the downtown area" Mario said, "The Zoo-Cats?" Knuckles asked surprised. "No, those bears Yogin and bobob" Mario said. Knuckles laughed, "You mean Yogi and booboo. They were framed though and even by the Zoo-Cats"

Luigi took a drink and sipped, "perhaps it's time for the Zoo-Cats to become extinct"

Knuckles smiled, "perhaps so. Let me make a quick call" knuckles said getting up and leaving the room. He called Espio.

 _To Sonic,_

Sonic went to a Taco Bell with his ally and new Best friend Daffy. He ordered a burrito, two orders of nachos and a taco. Daffy had gotten the taco salad and 15 tacos. Sonic was nearly finished with his lunch/dinner/mid-whatever time of day it was snack when he had to take a shit. He rushed to the bathroom and shat on the floor in front of an occupied stall.

The person inside it, an older gentleman, came out and slipped on the shit and fell on it getting shit all over his pants. Sonic laughed at the man. Angry, the man took off his shit stained pants and began to strangle Sonic with them. Sonic swung wildly as the man squeezed harder.

Daffy came into the bathroom and saw everything. He quickly charged the man, tackling him to the floor. "You bastards!" The man yelled. Daffy began beating the man in the face with fists of fury. "Shut up bitch and prepare to get your ass whooped!"

The man managed to push Daffy off and stood up, "You'll both pay for this!" He yelled. He ran out of the bathroom and away. "We better go find and kill him" Daffy said helping Sonic to his feet. "That's probably a good idea" Sonic replied.

They left the Taco bell.

 _To Tails_ ,

Tails lead Goofy to a large machine with a single door. "Will this device really be abler to help us?" Goofy asked, Tails chuckled a bit. "Of course it will. I designed and tested it before with another friend and it worked perfectly" Tails explained, "It's set to impart 5 years worth of training experience into us"

"Gwaaash, then perhaps we should get right to it" Goof exclaimed.

The two entered the machine.

 _To Shadow_ ,

Shadow sat alone in the forest. He was about to meditate but was interrupted when Rouge the bat flew and landed next to him. "Hello Shadow darling!" She greeted. Shadow grunted in response. "My, some greeting" she nudged Shadow's arm.

"Is there something you want?" Shadow asked,

"Now that you mention it, there is. Zarloon the Barboon is alive" Rouge stated. "I don't know who that is. Is that the person who talked to Goofy at the BBQ?" Shadow asked. Rouge nodded.

"Alright, I'll kill him" Shadow said as he got up. He pulled out his cellphone and called his boys. Within minutes, several hooded figures approached. "Alright boys! We got a job to do!" Shadow yelled. The hooded figures all cheered.

Shadow looked at Rouge and nodded.

 _To Donald Duck,_

Donald smoked a cigar with his temporary ally, Herman Schultz. The two got along pretty well. With them however was Fang the Sniper or as the west call him, Nack the weasel. The three of them along with Bark the Dynamite would leaving soon to start a secret mission that involved knuckles and the Zoo-Cats.

"Well I think we all should be heading on out soon" Herman announced, "Busy men like Eggman don't like delays. Keeps us all unpaid"

They all winced at the word unpaid. Horrible thing that could happen. None of them would allow such an unfortunate event to happen. As Donald finished his cigar, he sighed. "Shame we won't have much down time after this. But I do like getting paid"

Everyone agreed.

 _To Zarloon_ ,

Zarloon flew out of the sun. Soon he would be back on earth and thus began his plan. He would go buy a flat screen TV and binge watch a show. None would be able to stop him for he was the Barboon.

He laughed as he flew, aiming his body in the direction of a TV store as he approached the earth. He flew faster than a man fleeing from a bike being possessed by a Shadow Lord of doom. It was a creature that only wanted the man to eat healthy and exercise daily but the man had other plans. He wanted to go buy a soda from the soda Gods. But the Gods of soda were evil, just like Zarloon's evil twin brother evil Chad from Highschool was.

Chad was murdered in his sleep by Tails. Tails wanted the cookie on Chad's desk left by Chad's mother. Chad was not Zarloon's evil twin brother because Zarloon didn't have a brother. Also Tails is a dick.

 _To the Zoo-Cats,_

A group of thugs sat around a hideout that they thought was secured. Espio who was scouting, had bugged the place with cameras and microphones and even a bomb. But this was just one of the many hideouts. Espio knew that. The Zoo-Cats knew that. Now you know as well.

This group of Zoo-Cats were doing their usually routine of doing drugs, having sex, eating pizza and levitating objects with the power of temporary wands. The wands lasted five minutes and could only pick up cans and little mice. God hated one mouse in particular and killed it with lightning from the heaven's thus freaking out the Zoo-Cats and Espio.

Espio stepped away from this all due to a call. The Zoo-Cats were now preparing to offer up cans of soda to please God. God cared not. His revenge was complete.

 _To Kill_ ,

Kill approached Knuckles house ready to make a deal. The people needed to eat and nothing would get in Kill's way to make sure that happened. It stood in front of the door and knocked.


	8. Act Two: Chapter six

Chapter Six: Base Attack part 1

Luigi opened the door slowly, saying a long and dragged out greeting as he did so. "Yesssssssss, can I be the one of whom could possibly assist you in this place we call living?"

Kill stared at Luigi before answering. Luigi stared back. "Come, we must summon your boss, the red fist spike punch to assist us as we journey out to feed our people. Journey with us to Godhood, so many can pray to us" Kill said.

Luigi took a step back, "What the fuck cunt? I should wait for you to have your firstborn child, strangle it and eat it in front you and your slut wife!"

Mario walked over and said, "While that happens, I'll feed your whore wife the after birth"

Kill was unaltered by these words that were word spoken and directed towards his general direction. He simply stepped to the side to avoid the angry words and thus confused the Mario brothers. Luigi took out a gun and killed a crow. Kill was pleased by this and gave Luigi $5000 that it willed into existence.

"Holy shit!" Mario shouted.

Kill once again proposed its ideas, "Come, summon the glove fist of spikes and we shall become as Gods and feed our people"

Mario thought about it, "Hmmmmm" he became ground bound and rolled on the floor while yelling "Hmmmmmmm!"

Kill and Luigi stepped back as Mario was far too powerful in his enraged state or drinking state. Two forms that weren't currently in use and thus making this entire paragraph utterly useless. "Damnit!" Sonic said out of nowhere. He and Daffy were chasing the older gentleman who strangled Sonic at the taco bell. Daffy questioned Sonic's sudden outburst and received a vague shrug as a reply. The two continued the chase unabated for now.

Knuckles walked over and saw Kill, "Let me guess. You're here to end us all?"

Kill shook its head, "No. We will become Gods. The four of us will and together will feed our people" Kill replied.

"I... I see" knuckles managed to reply, "That's quite a statement"

Kill nodded, "I believe that we have enemies of whom must be dealt with" Kill turned to leave, "Come and we shall deal with these Zoo-Cats" Knuckles stepped forward, "We'd be glad to have more allies for this. The place we're going to is one of their smaller bases. But once destroyed will send a message" knuckles explained. Kill chuckled, "No survivors I assume?" Knuckles nodded.

"Let's a-go kill these motherfuckers!" Mario yelled.

The party of four got into Knuckles Jeep and drove off towards the city. While it was a very big city, it was still divided into four sections. An industrial section, shopping and food section, Trade and business and then the slums. The group was going to the shopping and food section as the base was there. The Zoo-Cats tend to have some of their smaller ones there since they are too lazy to strong arm the food market. They just buy food like normal people. The same thing goes with regular stores, except they shoplift.

The crimes they actually commit are extreme assault, vandalism, weapon dealing, necromancy, human trafficking, and small acts of terrorism. They also did drugs on corpses they dig up.

Knuckles parked his Jeep behind a Taco burger Master of Food place and revealed his plan. "Across the street are our enemies. I'm going to fire a rocket launcher into their front door. I want you guys to go in and behead at least 5 guys. We'll need them to put on spikes after we've won"

"And if the cops come?" Luigi asked, "Don't worry about them. We'll have deguises. Just kill anyone who gets in the way" knuckles replied. Luigi, Mario and Kill smiled. Everyone put on their deguises which were just Koopa costumes. "These fucks will be dead soon!" Luigi chuckled as he strapped his machete to his back. He loaded his assault rifle and waited. Kill asked one last question before knuckles got into position, "What about the people in this food establishment we're behind?" Knuckles shrugged, "They're not part of the plan" he replied.

"We're not here to fight the innocent" Espio said, he stepped out of the shadows. Nobody flinched or was surprised by this turn of events because it was to be expected. "Fuck you lizard" Mario said. Espio and Mario had a brief stare down. Luigi didn't give a fuck and got ready for the mission with Kill. The two had started to get along better despite their hostile meeting earlier.

Knuckles got to the top of the fast food place and aimed his RPG, "Get ready" he said via the walkie talkie, "Fuck you cunt" was the reply. He assumed it was Luigi. Ignoring this, he fired the rocket. It slammed and exploded against the door of the Zoo-Cats hideout. His allies ran across the street, weapons in hand. Knuckles switched to a sniper riffle and became the support unit.

Inside the base was chaos as several Zoo-Cats ran around and attempted to prepare their defenses and evac plans. Mario beheaded someone and the battle began.

 _To Donald,_

Down the street and in a black van were Donald and his group. They had just witness a RPG being fired off. "Looks like it's our turn" Fang said. Donald nodded and hopped into the driver's seat. "Shocker, Fang and Bean, buckle up"

Donald took off and rammed the van into the Zoo-Cats small base. He pressed a button which allowed the van to jump in the air. This also created a forcefield that would protect the van as it slammed through the walls. The van landed and killed several Zoo-Cats. Donald and his team got out and began their attack.

 _To knuckles,_

Knuckles saw unexpected company arrive suddenly. There was nothing he could do. It was probably Eggman again. That fucker was starting to get on his nerves, but at least they were on the same page for now. Or so he thought.

 _To Luigi,_

Luigi saw him again, Donald duck. He dropped the body of a Zoo-Cat he was strangling and stepped forward. "Motherfucker!" Luigi yelled out. Donald heard this and turned around. He was yet again smoking a cigar. "What? Oh it's you. The bitch ass punk I beat last time" Donald taunted. Although in his own words, Luigi would say that Donald is saying the absolute truth. He whooped Luigi's ass.

Luigi ran at Donald and swung a fist at him. Donald leaned back, avoiding the blow. He blew smoke into Luigi's face, causing him to jump back. "Uuuugggh! You piece of shit!" Luigi cried out. Donald slammed a fist into Luigi's face, knocking him out cold.

"Bitch" Donald stated, spitting on Luigi's unconscious body. He walked away and continued his Zoo-Cat murdering spree. He took a shotgun out and bashed people's heads, then quickly finishing them off with a shell to the face. He laughed as the blood splashed on his face.

 _To Kill,_

Kill levitated several Zoo-Cats in the air and flung them at Mario, Espio and the Shocker. The three then proceeded to kill these Zoo-Cats with their weapons. "This is quite fun. Thanks for the help!" Mario said.

The Shocker fired his shock gauntlets at Mario. Mario dodged it, "Fuck you!" Mario yelled, "We ain't friends. You see, ah'm here to cause some real damage!" The Shocker yelled.

Mario flung a fist at the Shocker, who caught it and threw a punch of his own. The punch hit Mario square in the face which had little effect on Mario. Mario smirked and readied a fireball with his free hand. The Shocker let go of Mario's hand and jumped back just as Mario threw the fireball. The Shocker fired a shockwave at the attack causing it to explode.

Kill ignored the situation and continued his assault on the Zoo-Cats base. He began to conjure up fire balls of its own and fire them everywhere. Bean the dynamite also began to throw bombs. Things were exploding and catching fire. Mario and The Shocker stopped their fight for a moment.

"Looks like we'll haveta postpone our little battle fer now" the Shocker said. "I'll be waiting, bitch" Mario said. The two had a brief state down before the Shocker ran off.

The base was now exploding and fire was everywhere. Mario suggested to everyone that escape should be the next move and Espio agreed. Espio, who had picked up Luigi, called knuckles "Knuckles, we're heading back now"

"Alright, I'll provide cover fire!" Knuckles replied.


	9. Act Two: Chapter seven

Chapter Seven: Base Attack part 2

Mario and Kill rushed out of the base to see that some of the Zoo-Cats were attempting to escape and backup for them has arrived. While the police and SWAT team did also arrive, there was not enough of them to handle the situation due to another event going on in another part of town. The Zoo-Cats were overwhelming the situation.

"Holy shit" Mario yelled out. He and Kill soon began unleashing fireballs. Some of the Zoo-Cats who had either guns or bows and arrows fired back. Even with knuckles support fire, there were too many enemies.

Kill created a big flash that allowed it and its three friends to cross the street to knuckles location. "We need to get out of here fast!" Knuckles said as he slid down the latter in the alley. "I can't believe how many there are!" Mario said.

Now that the light had faded, the cops, SWAT team and Zoo-Cats began killing each other. Although smaller groups of Zoo-Cats formed to look for the people who attacked them.

"Well, time to go" Espio announced after laying Luigi in the back of the van. The rest of the group followed suit and soon knuckles drove off.

"What do we do now? Those assholes are sure to be out for blood" Mario said.

Just then, several cars sped up and drove on the sides of the van. Soon the ramming commenced. "Oh fuck!" Luigi yelled as he awoken, "motherfucking Duck!"

Luigi looked around and saw he was not safe. The cars continued to ram the van. Mario unrolled the window and shot fireballs at the cars. One exploded and slammed into the one behind it. "Fuck a you" Mario cheered.

A giant police truck with spikes on the sides, machine guns attached to the front and a pair of robotic hands drove out of the alley. It caught up with the chase and with it's Robo-hands, it picked up a Zoo-Cat car and karate chopped it until it exploded. "Oh shit!" Mario yelled. Espio handed Mario the RPG launcher.

Mario took aim at the cop truck and fired. The Robo-hands caught the missile and threw it at a random building. The build crumbled, killing everyone inside and crushing nearby cars with debris. "Damn" Mario said tossing the launcher at someone.

An old lady had caught it. The police truck made sure to kill her with its machine guns. "Oh shit" knuckles said, witnessing the event via his side view mirror.

The Zoo-Cats were not out of the game yet. A couple of the members flew into the scene with jetpacks. Each member had a laser beam riffles and shot at the van and cop truck. The cop truck attempted to swat away the Zoo-Cats while firing rounds of its machine guns. Both sides instantly forgot about the van thus allowing for it to escape.

"It seems we have our lives" Kill said, "We need more people" Espio said. Knuckles pulled into his secret base garage. "I shall bring us more followers in due time. Until then" Kill said getting out of the van and flying away. Everyone else made their way into the base. "That duck was there again" Luigi said.

"He must be working for Eggman" knuckles replied, "We'll have to be more careful. Our enemies are gathering in full force"

"Like I said, we need more people. But perhaps we'll leave that to Kill" Espio said. "But can we really trust the word?" Asked knuckles.

"Yes. We can" Mario announced with a fiery determination.


	10. Act Two: Chapter eight

Chapter Eight: Old man knuckles

Sonic and Daffy had chased the old man into an alleyway. It led to a dead end and they all knew it. Along the way, Sonic and Daffy had been followed by a dirty cop who wanted a good fight. Actually he just wanted to beat on someone.

The three of them walked slowly as if they were in an old school gang towards the old man. What they didn't realize was that he was in fact called old man knuckles, a old legend in the field of boxing. With a solid 32-1, Sonic and friends were in for a world of hurt.

But people age and old knuckles wasn't as he use to be. He picked up a wooden plank, "Bring it you young bastards!" He called out. He ran at Sonic and swung the plank. But Sonic ducked under it and punched him in the gut causing him to collapse.

"Bitch ass punk!" The dirty cop yelled, slamming his baton on to old knuckles side. Daffy slapped old knuckles, "You shouldn't have messed with us bitch" Daffy said.

Old knuckles spat on the ground, "Well I wouldn't have if you weren't such filth! Do your worst, you scum!"

Sonic, Daffy and the dirty cop began kicking the poor old man.

Another cop flashed his light down the alley. "There better not be any ambushes waiting for me or I'll be pissed! I'll kill anyone I find!"

"Shit!" The Dirty cop whispered, "we gotta get the fuck out of here"

"Don't worry. I got magic beans!" Daffy whispered back holding magic beans in his hand. But God hates magic beans and destroyed them with lightning.

"DAMN YOU GOD!" The other cop yelled as he shot his gun in the air. God did not care. Seeing this as a perfect chance to escape, Sonic and the other three guys climbed up a latter leading into a random apartment building. Sonic tried to open the window as quietly as possible but the darn thing squeaked loudly. "Hopefully the owner didn't hear this piece of shit window open!" Sonic yelled at the top of his lungs. The other cop heard and fired a few rounds near sonic. This caused everyone to quicken their pace. The sound of the bullets hitting the wall alerted the apartment owner. The owner who was in the shower ran out and saw them come in. She screamed, "Who are you people?!"

"Don't worry ma'am, I'm a cop" the dirty cop said. The woman calmed down a bit and returned to her shower. Sonic went through her fridge and made a sandwich. "Fuck. That was a close one!" Sonic said.

Old man knuckles had left while mumbling about how he'd have his revenge. No one heard or saw this, so no one cared. "Should we steal stuff?" Daffy asked despite the fact a cop was standing next to him. The cop had found chips and began eating them, "Stealing is against the law!" He said as he stuffed his pockets with candy in a bowl he found on the counter.

The owner of the apartment had not gone back to the shower. She ran nakedly into her room and quietly loaded a shotgun. She knew the cop was a dirty one. It was that asshole cop Birk Hawkins who once killed 15 people in single combat. She vowed to kill him if she ever got the chance.

And now one presented itself to her.

 _To old man knuckles,_

The old man walked home slowly going over his revenge plans. He knew had to to make a move carefully to deal with any unfortunate drawbacks but he cared not. Revenge was important. He called up an old friend, Buster James.

Buster James had a robotic arm that can shoot 3 missiles. He could pick up large rocks and burst through buildings. Buster picked up his phone, "You have a job for me?" He asked.

"I need you to break Sonic's legs with a hammer" old knuckles said. Buster became the emotion of joy and went to the zoo. He saw a lion and jumped into the cage with it and strangled it to death. The zoo security were no match for him because they were all on break allowing the local armed thugs to take control. They extorted money from the citizens.

Buster James cared not and left the zoo. "I'll do it" Buster James said once he called old knuckles back. "Excellent" old knuckles said.

 _To Bugs bunny,_

Bugs climbed out of his hole to discover that the world was now more dangerous. Upon finding a random person, he began to ask many questions. "Why is there so much crime in the city? Is the Mafia back in power?" Buggs asked. "The city is being divided by many factions. There was a black duck that killed a lady at a market the other day. I think he's part of Sonic's group" a random guy said.

"A black duck? Must be Daffy. I'll have to take care of him" Buggs said walking away. He pulled out a bat with nails, "That bitch ass punk Sonic stealing one of my lads. I'll fuck him up"

Buggs spotted a dog wearing a suit, a kid with a golf club and a giant Ant. Buggs called them over to him. "You lot are going to help me kill Sonic. He took my lad and I'm pissed. I'll pay you 59 grand each" he explained.

The dog guy put some peanut butter on the boy's head which he and the Ant licked off. The boy complained. But other than that, they agreed to help. The four of them looked off into the distance.

Buggs was ready.


	11. Act Two: Chapter nine

Chapter Nine: The Barboon of battle

Zarloon landed on earth. He surveyed his surroundings and found his prize, the Video store. The people around him were terrified as he made his way to the store. A lady jumped in front of a car to get out of Zarloon's way. The car swerved out of the way and at Zarloon. Zarloon picked up the car and threw it at a gas station. There was a large explosion.

It destroyed the video store.

"Fuck!" Zarloon yelled. He had no one to attack for everyone near him were either dead or close to it. He heard sirens in the distance. "I must leave to another place..." Zarloon said.

A shot rang out and something pinged against the ground, "Freeze dirtbag!" A cop announced. Zarloon looked at the person. "The SWAT team and my allies are coming to stop you!" The cop yelled. Zarloon laughed, "Let them come! Let them fight Zarloon the Barboon!"

"Shut up Bitch" Shadow said.

"A challenger?" Zarloon said turning to Shadow. Shadow flipped him the bird. "Cop, get out of here before my boys take you out" Shadow warned.

"No. I'm a symbol of justice" the cop said. Shadow pulled out his pistol and shot the cop in the head. "I am justice" Shadow said. He looked at Zarloon, "Why are you here?" Shadow asked.

"I want a TV to binge watch my favorite shows" Zarloon pointed at Shadow, "You will not stop me from this"

Shadow took a fighting stance as the SWAT team had arrived. Shadow's boys were taking position to fight off the police and SWAT teams. "My boys will make sure our fight is uninterrupted" Shadow said.

"Cease all criminal activities scumbags! You will all die here for your crimes!" A SWAT team captain yelled. One of Shadow's boys shot and killed him and thus began the war. Shadow and Zarloon ran at each other and exchanged punches. Shadow slammed his fist into Zarloon's face, sending him flying into a broken building. Shadow followed this up by firing several chaos spears at Zarloon.

One of his boys also threw a grenade at Zarloon. The gunfire stopped briefly and there was silence until a loud explosion went off.

Shadow slowly made his way to the explosion. His eyes were glued to the scene. Mentally he prepared himself for whatever he might find. He assumed the continuation to the fight, he hoped an execution.

Zarloon got up.

"I see that attack was too tame for you" Shadow remarked.

"Fuck you hedgehog. I'll kill you and use your body as a rock to kill other people with" Zarloon threatened. He was about to say something else when Shadow rushed him and slammed his knee into Zarloon's stomach. Zarloon jumped back, "You piece of shit!"

Zarloon shot a laser beam from his mouth which caused shadow to fly back. He teleported behind the hedgehog and punched him to the ground. He stomped on Shadow's body. Shadow's boys ran over to their leader but some of them were gunned down by the SWAT team. This continued the war.

Thinking quickly shadow used his chaos blast to knock Zarloon off of him. Shadow took off his limiter rings and fired his full power chaos spears at Zarloon.

The spears pierced Zarloon's body, pinning him to the ground. Shadow limped his way to his enemy, pulled out his pistol and gunned Zarloon down. "Bitch" Shadow said as he spat on Zarloon's dead body.

The earth shook.

Zarloon's body floated in the air and energy transferred from it to Shadow who thus became the new Barboon. With his new power, Shadow the Barboon flew into the sky. He unleashed a line of chaos spears between his boys and the SWAT and police. His boys made their escape.

"We'll remember this you cunt!" A cop yelled.

Shadow laughed. His deed was done.

Rouge flew up next to Shadow, "well thanks for taking care of that asshole. I use to date that fucker" she explained. "Did you really have me go kill your ex?" Shadow asked. Rouge nodded. "You bitch" shadow said.

"Fuck you, you bitch ass punk" Rouge said, "What are you going to do now?"

Shadow thought for a moment. "I know what to do" he said. He flew up and into the sun.


	12. Act Two: Chapter ten

Chapter Ten: Burger King

Sonic and his two allies were about to leave the apartment when the naked apartment lady came out of her room. She pointed her shotgun at the dirty cop, "You! Out of all the apartment buildings you could have broken into, you choose mine. Why?!" She demanded. The dirty cop, Birk Hawkins cleared his throat. But before he could say anything, Sonic interrupted. "We came here because I chose the place. We were escaping from someone"

The lady ignored sonic and continued to talk to Birk, "why are you here?" She venomously asked, "You piece of shit!" Sonic yelled drawing his revolver. The lady noticed and aimed her gun at sonic now.

"You better not hedgehog" The lady said. But Daffy had already pulled out a grenade, "We can all die here" Daffy said.

Birk and the lady looked at Daffy with fear. "Do it Daffy!" Sonic yelled. "What the hell are you doing?" The lady demanded, "You can't be serious!"

Daffy placed his hand on the pin. The lady dropped her gun. Her hatred shifting from Birk to the much more dangerous pair of Daffy and Sonic. "Good. We're more then willing to kill everyone in this entire building! This of course includes us" Daffy explained.

Birk was proud to be apart of the group. "We'll be leaving now" Sonic said. The lady turned her head in defeat, unwilling to meet his eyes. They had won. She vowed revenge.

 _To Buster James_ ,

Buster James walked into a Tool store. He immediately began scanning quickly through the aisles for his prize. He found hammers of various sizes. He knew his targets were somewhat on the small size, so he'd have to make a smart investment based on these facts. He believed Sonic was pretty tall. Standing somewhere between 4 and 5 feet. Daffy was a bit taller.

But since the orders were to break Sonic's legs with a hammer,he would ignore the duck for now. James grabbed a couple of different sized hammers. It'd be better to prepare for each situation. He also grabbed a cherry coke. He'd been wanting something to quench his thrust and he had always enjoyed coke products.

He walked over to the checkout, bought his supplies (including rope) and left.

 _To Buggs,_

The giant ant saw that a man with a robotic arm had left the Home Depot. He assumed such a person could no doubt fire up to at least 3 missiles. He informed Buggs of this information.

"Three missiles huh?" Buggs causally asked as he ate a carrot, "That still won't be enough for Sonic. I heard he once out ran 12. But if this guy you saw was clever, he'd have 15 mini missiles instead"

The boy with the golf club, Nate walked into the conversation. He pointed at the dog who was attempting to buy hot dogs. The hot dog seller punched the dog square in the face. The man with the robotic arm noticed this and watched from the distance. "What the fuck?" Buggs said running over to the fight. Buggs kneed the food worker in the stomach. Nate and the dog began to steal the hot dogs and products that support such a food that is the hot dog. The giant ant who was called upon as Steve threw a couple of hot dogs on the ground before eating them.

As Buggs beat up the food worker, his hired guns ate the food. They of course left him the best hot dogs as he was the boss. Buggs walked away from his defeated enemy, "We should get ready for the hedgehog" he said. He made himself a hot dog.

Steve noted that the man with the robot arm briefly stopped to watch the fight. He suggested that they follow the man. Buggs pondered this.

 _To Sonic_ ,

Sonic and friends made it to a Burger King for some cheap nuggets. As they made their way inside the fast food place, Sonic had a feeling he was being watched.

On top of a building across from the Burger King was Willie Coyote. He wanted to try out the new spicy nuggets and cared not for Sonic or his friends. Willie parachuted to the ground and went inside the fast food place too.

Daffy told a lady to get out of line or she'll have her food paid for as well. The lady complained, thought about it and finally joined the group. Willie who heard everything demanded to join as well.

"Let me join or I'll kill you" Willie threatened. He had pulled out a chainsaw, Sonic was impressed. Birk and Daffy cared not for his showoff attitude but allowed for Willie to join. Willie was pleased by this that he began to roll on the floor while touching himself inappropriately. His moans alerted the manager.

The manager walked over to Willie, who was still on the floor, and kicked him in the face. "You piece of shit!" Sonic yelled. Willie put up a hand, thus stopping Sonic. He got up, "What?" He calmly asked the manager. The manager shrugged and walked away.

The Lady and Daffy made the order and Sonic paid for the meal. Also they discovered the Lady's name was Magan. Daffy chose a table for the group to sit in. While his friends Began to eat, Daffy was trying to see something that was outside. It seemed like there was a giant ant out there and someone next to it. Someone familiar. As the rest of the group ate, a man with a Robotic arm entered the Burger King.

He spotted Sonic and pulled out a hammer.

 _To Buggs,_

Buggs and his group had taken up Steve's request to follow Buster James. He had gone to Burger King and inside the food place via the window, Steve saw a black duck. He pointed it out and Buggs confirmed that it was indeed Daffy.


	13. Act Two: Chapter eleven

Chapter Eleven: House call

Knuckles left the gym after a long workout session. It had been months since his last workout and he was way out of shape. He had been too busy with his budding business and his college courses, he just didn't need to be fighting. Knuckles knew he was useless more than ever, so he decided to get his fighting edge back.

While he was not yet quite at 100% fighting capability, he was more than a match when pushed came to shove. As he made his way to his car, he noticed someone approach.

"Been awhile hasn't it?"

Knuckles turned to see that Vector the crocodile had showed up. Along with him was Mighty who nodded at knuckles. Knuckles nodded back.

"It has been awhile, what's new with you two?" Knuckles asked.

"We've been traveling around the world. Mighty heard there was trouble going on back up here. We came back to see if we could help" Vector explained. Knuckles laughed, "I could use all the help I can get. I'm at war with the Zoo-Cats and Eggman is up to something"

"Eggman? Hmm..." Vector paused before asking, "Where's Sonic?"

"Sonic? Oh he's dealing with whatever bullshit he gets caught up in. Probably something that his 'secret cult' does" Knuckles said. "I take it, you two don't talk that much" Mighty said. Knuckles shrugged, "We get along just fine. Probably better than we had in years. It's just since Eggman came back, Sonic hasn't quite been the same"

Mighty and knuckles looked to one another and then at knuckles. "Uh knuckles... about Eggman..." Vector began but was interrupted by a thug with a knife. "Give me your wallet, bitch!" The thug demanded. Knuckles punched him into a tree. The thug broke through the tree and slammed into the ground, dying instantly. Three other thugs saw this and pulled out two knives each. "You'll die for that!" One yelled. The three thugs charged at knuckles, but Vector body slammed them. Vector bit into one guy's head and ripped the other two heads off.

Vector spat out the head, "The fuck kind of city is this? Does this shit normally happen?"

"Crime rate went up recently by 300%. I think it's because the cops became corrupted" Knuckles said. An old lady pulled out a gun and walked into a donut store. In moments, gunshots could be heard. An on duty cop fired a RPG from across the street at the donut store, killing everyone inside. The city had now become a bad place to live. The cop mourning the loss of the donut store, committed Seppuku. He retained his honor in death.

"This city needs change and fast" Vector said.

The three went over to knuckles house. "Change is hard to accomplish in such a place. The only way to do it is to kill the top dog and decree your own law" Knuckles explained.

The top dog was Hamster Man-made.

"I guess we have no choice but to kill him" Mighty said. Knuckles laughed, "It's way too early for that. Let me establish myself as a power plaster and then I'll help you"

Vector and Mighty agreed.

 _To Mario,_

Mario sat in his Mansion that he bought. He could afford such luxurious things due to his vast collection of gold coins. It also helped when gold is in a premium in this dimension. In his home universe, he and his brother would be fighting Bowser in a never ending battle over Princess Peach Toadstool.

He was sick of it.

Sick of Bowser's castles. Sick of the koopa troopas, shy guys and stupid gadgets. Sick of the kidnappings and most of all, sick of the responsibility. He was glad to be free at last. Let some other guy deal.

Mario summoned his Butler, who phased through the ground. "Yes Master Mario?" The butler asked.

"What's my brother doing?" Mario asked.

"One moment please" the Butler's eyes turned completely black but with a few blinking lights were visible. Mario assumed that meant his Butler's eyes became the universe. After a couple of seconds, the butler spoke, "He is playing YouCart with Yoshi"

"I see. Thank you. I'm gonna go find Knuckles. I have questions for him" Mario said. He got up and left the room. His butler turned into smoke and flew into the vent.

Mario took the limo there, his driver happily made this happen. The driver even picked Mario up and placed him into the limo without Mario's consent. You could even say that the driver forced Mario to take the limo. Which is what happened. A matter of fact, I'll add this. The Driver decided for Mario that Mario wanted take the limo and Mario conceded to the Driver's whim as Mario clearly not under any threats loved limo rides. But the Driver licked Mario's feet as a deed of atonement. The driver's tongue went between the toes and licked a bit up Mario's legs.

Mario tipped the Driver and put his socks and shoes back on. He was a bit unsettled at his Driver's way of apologizing. But soon enough Mario was at knuckles house. His driver who was angered by this, picked Mario up and threw him at the door. Mario's collision with said door created a loud thud.

The Driver sped off.

 _To knuckles_ ,

Knuckles, Vector and Mighty all ran to see what would cause such a loud noise. "Maybe it's the Zoo-Cats?" Mighty assumed. "Or Eggman!" Vector added.

Knuckles opened the door and Mario fell in.

"MARIO!" The three exclaimed.

Mario got up and dusted himself off, "My bitch ass Driver threw me. But then again, I did only hire the freaks"

"What brings you here?" Knuckles asked, "I wanted to see if you had anything" Mario replied. Knuckles nodded, "We were just about to plan something"

 _To shadow,_

Shadow flew out of the sun. It was time for him to go back. He wondered what sonic and tails were up to. He created a coin to flip in order for him to decide who to see first. The coin floated off into space forever spinning.

"Damnit!" He yelled. But no one heard him.

He flew to earth and slammed into Kill. Kill was on it's way to knuckles after obtaining many followers. "You! You're that word" Shadow said. Kill looked at Shadow, "you're a demigod like me" Kill said.

"Amazing, you must be powerful" Shadow said, "Where are you going?"

"To knuckles. He and I must destroy the Zoo-Cats" Kill said. "Good luck" Shadow said and flew off.

He landed in front of Rouge. "Took you long enough" she smirked.

 _To Kill_ ,

Kill landed in knuckles yard, where Kill's followers awaited. Kill addressed them, "This day we shall follow the laws Knuckles lays for us. We shall murder the Zoo-Cats and feed our people" it yelled. The followers cheered and knuckles walked outside to see what was going on.

"What the fuck?! Kill?" Knuckles yelled out. "Behold your new leader" Kill pointed at knuckles and the followers bowed. Some cheered.

"Good job Kill" Mario said. He, Vector and Mighty had followed knuckles outside.

"This is more than enough for another invasion". Knuckles announced.

"Let'sa get to it! " Mario yelled.


	14. Act Two: Chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve: The fast food showdown

Buster James ran towards Sonic with his hammer raised. Daffy who saw him coming, picked up a chair and threw it. But James smashed the chair with his robotic hand. He swung his hammer at Sonic.

Sonic and his group jumped out of the way. "Damnit!" Sonic yelled. He had made yet another enemy. Willie fired a rock via a slingshot at James. The puny rock bounced off of James rock hard face. He glared at Willie and didn't see that Daffy had grabbed another chair and was behind him.

He slammed a chair onto James who stumbled into Willie's incoming brass knuckled punch to the jaw. James fell to the floor. As Sonic and crew kicked James, James began to glow red.

He soon discharged a chaos blast that knocked everyone back.

The manager was alerted and walked over to the fight but had his neck snapped by a giant Ant. Buggs and his group were now inside Burger King.

"Daffy!" Buggs yelled out.

The fighting stopped. "Buggs? Is that you!" Daffy asked. He got closer only to be slapped in the face by Nate. "You piece of shit!" Daffy yelled, "Enough Daffy" Buggs simply said.

"No! It's not enough!" Daffy pressed a finger to the rabbit's chest, "It is not enough until I say it is"

Buggs slapped Daffy. "Shut up bitch" Buggs said. Sonic rushed over and tackled Buggs. Seeing where Sonic went, James proceed to run over as he pulled out another hammer. Steve the Ant tackled James and punched his face with a series of blows.

James tanked them and knocked Steve off. He swung his hammer wildly, catching Nate in the face and sending him flying into the glass. The Dog and Steve rushed at James. Nate walked back into Burger King.

He snuck up from behind James and began to strangle him. Seeing an opening, Steve and the dog began raining fists upon James stomach. He was unable to take it and passed out. Nate spat on James. The three of them began kicking James unconscious body, Willie and Birk joined in as well.

Meanwhile, Sonic was pushed off by Buggs. "You. Hedgehog" Buggs bitterly spat out.

"What's up fuck face. I'll tear you apart" Sonic replied before swinging at Buggs. Buggs leaned back and avoided it. He did a sweeping kick which tripped Sonic, "Bastard!" Sonic yelled. Buggs proceeded to pound his fists against Sonic's face. Daffy slammed his foot in Buggs face, causing him to skid away from Sonic. "You OK bitch?" Daffy said helping Sonic up. He then punched Sonic in the face. "I'll be taking out this rabbit" he announced.

Sonic picked up Daffy and threw him at Buggs. Daffy slammed into Buggs as he got back to his feet. Sonic ran over to the two and began kicking them, but Daffy pulled out a grenade causing Sonic to stop. "I guess we die here pal" Sonic said sitting down. Daffy sat next to Sonic and pulled the pin, "Yep. This is it" Daffy said.

Buggs quickly got up, rushed over and threw the grenade out of the window. It exploded in the parking lot. "What the fuck is wrong with you two?" Buggs yelled.

Sonic and Daffy shrugged. The explosion had once again halted the fight against James. Buggs called it a day. After a few intense stares between his group and Sonic's group, he and his group just left.

"Let's get the fuck out of here" Birk said walking up to Sonic. "Should we slit the Robo arm guy's throat while he's still passed out?" Willie asked as he and Magan walked over. Magan wasn't sure why she was still with this group. Everyone was crazy and they attracted danger. But perhaps she was crazy too.

"Nah, let's go over to my house." Sonic said, "This has already been a long day"

Everyone agreed. Everyone except Daffy, who walked over to James and shot him in the head with his favorite revolver. They took Magan's car to Sonic's house. Magan was glad she had parked across the street due to her earlier shopping. She wanted a quick bite but ended up staying nearly an hour.

When they finally made it to Sonic's house, they noticed that Big the cat was there.

 _To Buggs_ ,

Buggs was now sure that his lad was insane. Well more insane than before. He blamed it all on the hedgehog. Sonic.

That bastard was a pain in his side. This would not be the last time they meet. No, buggs would take his revenge. He looked towards his allies who were actually starting to become his friends. He decided he would wait. Until the time was right.

 _To old man knuckles,_

Old man knuckles knew Buster was dead. He could feel it in his bones. He called in a favor from another friend. Captain Gunkill.

Captain Gunkill loved to kill birds and rub them against his body. He would go to the beach and shoot all the sea gulls with AK-47s. There were of course unexpected casualties. The captain would often aim his gun 'accidentally' at other people and through magic or some other bullshit would the trigger be pulled. He was clearly a serial killer.

Old man knuckles is hiring serial killers to torture and kill sonic.


	15. Act Two: Chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Shadow sat on as bench at the park. Children were playing on the big toys and running around while their parents stood to the sides ever watchful. Shadow fiddled around on his new smart phone. He hated it. A lady sat beside him and drank coffee. Shadow one upped her and drank two coffees. She didn't notice.

"Damnit" Sonic said from his house. He, Willie and Magan were cooking some food for an early dinner. Magan and Willie decided to just move in with Sonic after seeing how dirt cheap his rent was. He basically owned the house.

Anyway, Shadow realized the lady didn't care. He destroyed his coffee with hatred. He continued to fiddle with his phone until Sol Guardian the Son of Gil Merger the Beast tamer showed up. "Your name is complete bullshit. What's your real name?" Shadow asked. The lady gave shadow a dirty look for using a curse word. "Fine. I am Zack from Starbucks" Zack said.

Shadow pulled out a knife, "Give me your money bitch"

The lady slapped the knife out of Shadow's hand and told him to behave. He crossed his arms and grumbled. Parents were far more powerful than he first imagined. Perhaps he'd have to use a more tactical approach.

Zack pulled out a switchblade and held up a hand, "This is the blade I use to cut open boxes at work" he quickly explained to the lady. The lady slowly shook her head. Defeated, Zack just put the blade away.

Zack and Shadow couldn't fight at the park due to a strict mom watching them. Zack sat next to Shadow. "I got the hot spot app thing but I don't know how to use it" Shadow said, "Here. Let me help" Zack said. He easily turned it on after explaining to shadow how to get to it from the settings menu. "I see. Thank you" Shadow said.

After a few minutes, Shadow left the park. He flew to Rouge. "Do you have another job?" He asked.

"I need you to find Sonic" Rouge said.

 _To Daffy,_

It had been a few days since he last saw his roommate Goofy. Probably still at Tails house with that machine. He decided to just go over to Sonic's house.

On his way there, he spotted Shadow flying somewhere. Daffy picked up a rock and threw it at him. The rock was destroyed by Shadow's chaos barrier. Shadow landed in front of the duck. "What?" He said.

"Nothing. I just wanted to throw something at you" Daffy replied.

"Punk ass bitch. I'll call my boys to take care of you" Shadow threatened, "Fuck you edgelord" Daffy said back, "I'm going to Sonic's house, so come with me"

Shadow just shrugged. "Fine by me"

And together they walked there. But in the distance was Zack from Starbucks. He had slipped a tracer in Shadow's phone. He would soon defeat shadow.

As the two got closer to Sonic's house, they noticed a cop car parked in the driveway. "A cop? You trying to bust me, bitch?" Shadow panicked pulling out his pistol. "Nah, it's a dirty cop. Besides, we'd all go to jail if we did try to" Daffy explained. It was very true. The main characters were serial killers. If you count out each characters kill count, it'd probably be pretty high.

Shadow and Daffy kicked Sonic's door. Magan answered it, "What the fuck guys?" She yelled. "We're here to see Sonic and to punch him in the dick" Daffy said. Magan shrugged and let the two inside. Shadow placed a picture of himself on the wall. Daffy took a random shoe and threw it at Willie. Willie caught it and flipped the thrower the bird, "Fuck you. I was going to greet you but now I'll have to shove this shoe up your ass"

Daffy and Shadow jumped back and pulled out nun-chuks. "Bring it bitch!" Shadow said. "Please switch weapons first. Those things will break something" Magan pleaded. They switched to knives.

"You ready bitch?" Daffy asked.

Sonic walked into the fight with a grenade, "The fight ends here. Forever"

Birk joined the fight as well, but only leaned against the wall to observe.

"Stop!" Magan yelled.

"Exactly" Sonic said, "Stop. Dinner is done. So we can either go eat and be alive on earth or we can all die together. The choice is yours. The power is yours"

Just then, the power of the earth swelled inside of everyone's chest. "What the fuck? I'll-" Daffy was interrupted when Sonic put his hand on the pin, "Be silent or be dead" Sonic said.

They quietly went into the dining room where the food was and ate. Sonic and his roommates made Roasted lamb, cream corn, peas and mashed potatoes. With it was gravy and biscuits. "Sonic, I need to take you to Rouge" Shadow stated. "Fucking shit! What the hell Shadow? Goddamn you. You are fucking scum! I'll kill your whole family for this!" Sonic yelled. After a few moments of silence Sonic added, "Did she say what she wanted?"

"No. I left before she could. I was sure I was being followed" Shadow stated, "And you led them here?" Willie asked as he ate his potatoes. No one would be stupid enough to attack a place where Willie lived. "Yep. Whoever it is, they are here" Shadow said. Willie smiled, "Good"

 _To Zack_ ,

Zack was about to sneak into Sonic's house when he tripped a rope. "What the fuck?" Was all he could say before an anvil landed on his head, killing him instantly.

 _To Sonic,_

Everyone heard a loud thud and Willie simply excused himself. "I have to go check on my traps" he said and left. "Well that takes care of that" Shadow said. "So this Rouge chick, she has jobs?" Daffy asked.

"Well yes. It's how I get rent paid. It's usually assassination jobs. But I do get the occasional retrieve job" Shadow said, "How do we get in on this action?" Sonic asked, "I'll let Rouge know you want to join. You'll technically be working for the government. Rouge is an agent of G.U.N you know" Shadow explained.

"So freelance work? Sounds exciting enough" Daffy said. "Fuck you bitch" Shadow said, lighting up a cigar. Daffy, Birk and Sonic followed suit with the cigars. Magan just cleared her plate and left. She had homework from college and doesn't smoke. "Well you're a piece of shit some fat fuck failed to flush. You only came to life and shot people because the fucker's a school shooter" Daffy said.

"Fuck you, you're a duck that they put in the oven for too long and brought back to life because cold duck makes their dicks shrivel up" Shadow replied.

"Well you're that Jew they forgot to put in the oven. They just left you there"

"Fuck this shit" Sonic said. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and four shot glasses. "Let's get drunk and attack people walking along the side roads"

"This truly is a Russian dinner party" Birk said taking a shot. They all clanked glasses and drank. After 15 shots and another cigar, they were ready. Willie returned before the eighth shot and agreed to drive them somewhere. "Who... Who did that shit be?" Shadow attempted to ask, "I don't know. Some asshole with a switchblade. I think he worked for Starbucks or something" Willie said.

As they drove along the highways, Daffy and Sonic threw cans at the passing cars. They beeped and tried to ram them. When that happened, Sonic or Daffy would pull a gun on them.

Finally, they reached the side road. There was a group of people walking somewhere. Sonic threw a rock at one of them, "Hey bitch! Take that!" Sonic threw another rock.

The group turned to face them. "You threw that, punk?" One of them asked asked. "We also took turns fucking your mom. Damn, do we love riding the whales!" Daffy said.

"Hey! Fuck you! We'll kick your ass bitch!" Another person yelled out. There were at least 10 people in the group. Every single one of them were wearing a yellow scarf. "I think we ran into a gang" Shadow said, "I recognize some of them"

"Well, they'll be knocked out in a moment" Sonic yelled. Sonic's group and the group of gangsters all ran at each other. Each person pulled out various weapons. Knives, pencils, staple guns, and foam.

Sonic slammed a pencil in a dude's neck and bit into his ear as they both fell over. Sonic quickly got to his feet. Someone else tackled Sonic before he could even kick the guy on the floor.

Daffy was being kicked while he was down. Shadow had enough. He pulled out a pistol and gunned down the gang, Birk joined in and killed three of them. "Well that was anticlimactic" Sonic said.

They decided to tie the dead bodies to the back of the car. This would allow the bodies to drag as they drove away from the scene. After awhile of this, they cut the bodies loose and set the remains on fire. They drove to a parking lot building.

Once there, they began breaking other vehicles by: flipping then over,busting windows, slashing tires and throwing trash cans at them. Daffy however had planted C4 in key locations. Some of the car owners returned, but with guns.

Sonic and his friends quickly returned to the car and drove off. Shadow and Birk were returning fire at the owners who shot at them. Daffy detonated the C4. They made it out of the parking lot building just as it began to collapse. "Fuck yeah!" They all cheered.

"What now?" Willie asked while lighting up a cigar. "Let's go break into a Starbucks" Shadow suggested, "Good. I've still got some C4 charges left" Daffy said.

"Wait. Pull over" Sonic said. He spotted something. Willie pulled over and Sonic hopped out the car.

There was a bear wandering around at the park. Sonic whistled to it and it came over, "Oh it's you" Sonic realized he was face to face with yogi Bear. Sonic didn't care. He handed Yogi and cigar and gun. "Come with us" Sonic invited. Yogi shrugged and got in the car. They drove to a nearby Starbucks that happened to be across the street. So they went across the street to the Starbucks because that last sentence wasn't there. You may have read it but fuck you.

The Starbucks was still opened for some reason. Inside they encountered a bored set of staff members. The cashier looked up at the group. "Uh... Can I help you?" The cashier asked. Sonic stood on a table, Daffy walked around the store, Birk and Willie closely examined the menu. Shadow and Yogi however, they pointed at one of the lady staff members. "That lady killed my father 50 years ago" Yogi accused the clearly 20 something year old girl. "Nah, she clearly tried to snipe Hitler back in the day" Shadow replied, "She only failed because she realized she wasn't born yet"

"Piece of shit!" Yogi yelled, "I think I'll order a breakfast sandwich from McDonald's" "Fuck McDonald's. Those greedy fucks tried to put the straw up my ass. One of the workers there called it a McNutbuster" Shadow said

Yogi laughed, "I've had one of those. Except they used soap and foam instead of the straw"

"Um sir. Can you not do that?" The cashier asked Sonic who was dry humping the table, "Shut up bitch!" Sonic yelled. Another staff member went and pulled Sonic off the table, causing him to flail and scream. Daffy pulled out a knife. The staff member pulled a gun after tossing Sonic at Yogi. Daffy pulled out one of his C4s from his bag. "That's right cunt. I'm packing" Daffy stated. He won that Duel.

Yogi and Shadow began punching Sonic after he slammed into them after being thrown. "Piece of shit! This is why I don't go to Dairy Queen anymore!" Yogi yelled.

The cashier had just about enough of this shit, but Willie ordered. "I want 14 cookies, 5 coffee cakes and cups of decaf nonfat milk lattes for my friends" Willie paid via a debit card. Daffy decided not to blow up Starbucks. Yogi decided he liked coffee. Shadow managed to get the lady's number. Although everyone assumed it was a fake number. "Pics or it didn't happen" Sonic stated.

"You were there, asshole" Shadow replied.

"Where to next?" Willie asked as he started up the car. "To Rouge" Shadow answered.


	16. Act Two: Chapter fourteen

Chapter Fourteen: The Return

Tails and Goofy left the training room. While on the outside only a few hours had past, but in the machine, they had cycled through 15 months. The two were now stronger than ever before. Goofy decided to check the news to see if he missed out on something. Tails however decided to go get some food.

He walked into the kitchen and discovered a Bat creature. "Who are you?" Tails demanded. It was just Rouge because Tails hasn't seen his friends in awhile. "I needed some information. I'm actually on my way out. I'm meeting up with Shadow and Sonic" Rouge explained. "I see. I should probably go with you. I want to see Sonic" Tails decided.

"Fine by me" Rouge replied.

 _To Goofy,_

Goofy turned on the TV and found out what he missed. Several terrorist attacks on the city, gang violence, bears attacking people, bombings, God's wrath, and just crime. Nothing but senseless violence.

Goofy sighed. He checked his phone. 15 missed calls and 35 angry text messages. He called back whoever it was. "Goofy? You piece of shit! I was calling you for nearly an hour" said the caller.

"Fuck you. I'm coming to find you" Goofy yelled, the caller laughed, "Come on then. Come and face me!" The caller hung up.

Goofy grew angry and decided to make a sandwich. "It's been awhile since I had one of these!" And there was bread. Oh wonderful beautiful magical bread! He sang with delight as he laboured over his edible creation. Tails briefly walked in, "I'm going to see Sonic" Tails announced. He had a first determination in his eyes.

"Good luck Tails" Goofy said.

Tails left.

 _To the caller,_

The caller turned out to be a random Toad from Mario's universe. In fact it was Toad #238. He hated that designation, he renamed himself Todd. Todd and Goofy were sort of friends. They explored caves together, fighting off the dragons, bears, witches, war mages or crazy cannibal homeless people they find and claim treasure. With treasure came greatness. Sometimes they'd just break into people's homes in the middle of the night and kidnap people for ransom. It was a terrible thing to do, but it got them paid.

Todd sat in front of a burning fireplace. He smoked from a pipe and ate a lunchables. He loved Lunchables. They had just enough food for half of a snack. In the other room was a koopa troops. But the weird thing was his outer body was completely made of metal. Todd had no idea what the guy was up to. He usually spends his free time alone and locked away in a room of mysteries.

As Todd waited for Goofy's bitch ass to get over here, he began to ponder. What doth be we? Art thou truly alive? What is living? What is life?

There was a knock on the door and it was God. God phased through the door, but yet the door opened and slammed shut anyway. There was a low grumble from the other room. The metal koopa was slightly annoyed. But fuck that guy.

"Why are you here?" Todd asked

God stole some of Todd's Lunchable and disappeared in a blinding light. Todd stared down at his Lunchables in disbelief.

 _To Sonic,_

Sonic and his friends drove to the location Shadow usually meets Rouge. As they got out of the car, Sonic's phone rang. It was from an unknown number, so sonic ignored it. "Well this is the spot" Shadow said.

"This better not be a trap, bitch!" Daffy yelled. Shadow slapped Daffy. Sonic kneed Shadow in the chest. Yogi picked up Sonic and threw him at the car. Birk bitch slapped Yogi.

"Enough!" Willie said calmly. Sonic got in one last punch to Shadow's jaw. Willie rushed over to Sonic, picked him up and slammed him to the ground, "I SAID ENOUGH!" Willie yelled. "He's right. We shouldn't be fighting. Look, I just need sonic to see Rouge and my job is complete" Shadow explained.

"Sounds good to me" Daffy said. Everyone else shrugged. Daffy called an uber driver to pick up some Chinese food, piazza hut and McDonald's. "Fuck McDonald's" Yogi and Shadow both said. "Fuck you bitch. I'll blow that place up" Sonic said as he pulled out a knife. "Good" Shadow replied.

Rouge and Tails finally showed up. "Tails?!" Sonic cried out. He ran over to his friend who then kneed him in the chest, "Bitch" Sonic spat out. Daffy and Birk ran over to Tails to attack him but Sonic put up a hand. They stopped. "What's your problem tails?" Sonic demanded.

"My problem is that you already assembled a team against me!" Tails yelled.

Sonic had no idea what Tails was talking but suddenly realized. "Oh shit! I forgot about that!" He said.

"What?! Did you really?" Tails asked. Sonic nodded and Tails face palmed. "Well despite that little scene. Let's get to the reason why I called you here sonic" Rouge interrupted. "I would like you to find the Chaos Emeralds"

 _To Goofy_ ,

Goofy drove to Todd's house and parked a few blocks down. He carefully made sure no one followed him and made his way to his 'friend's'.

As soon as Goofy got to the door, it flung open. "I've been waiting for you. Hurry up and get in" Todd said. Goofy complied. After he was inside the house, Todd closed and secured the door. After a few silent moments of checking the streets through the blinds and security cameras, he turned to Goofy.

"What's wrong?" Goofy asked. "I've stolen something from Eggman" Todd said pulling out a Chaos Emerald.


	17. Act Two: Chapter fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: The Build up

Knuckles prepared to address his new followers. With him were Mario, Luigi, Espio, Vector, Mighty, Kill and Yoshi. Luigi and Yoshi were dropped off by the Driver since they were clearly disturbed by something or someone. As Knuckles looked over his speech, Mario walked up to him, "Nervous?" He asked, Knuckles nodded. "I never had to talk to this many people before. My company was small but still growing. This feels like I'm addressing an entire army" Knuckles explained.

There were 90 people waiting for their new leader to speak. But among them was a spy. It was a government official under orders from G.U.N. As knuckles approached the stand to speak, the agent put his hand on his gun. Knuckles took a deep breath as he looked upon his people.

"Before I begin I would like to say..." Knuckles started.

The agent pulled out his weapon and fired it at the stand. He was hoping to cause a panic, but instead the followers tackled him and began beating him. Kill walked onto the stage, "Bring him forth" Kill ordered. Slowly the agent was dragged before Kill and the now fuming Knuckles, "Who?" Knuckles spat out.

The agent spat on Knuckles which rewarded him with a fist to the jaw. Knuckles grabbed the agent by the throat and lifted him up, "Who?" He repeated.

"Off-Flower" the agent finally said. Knuckles threw the agent to his followers. His followers slowly and surely tortured the spy. His screams could be heard as knuckles and Kill left the stage.

"What happened?" Mario asked, "Was it Eggman?" Vector chimed in. Knuckles shook his head, "No. It was Off-Flower"

"Who?" Luigi asked. "They're a black ops G.U.N unit that hates knuckles" Espio explained. "We have way too many enemies" Vector said.

"We'll deal with them later. For now, we'll focus on the Zoo-Cats" Knuckles said. "A good plan. I'll inform the army of the situation" Kill said as it left.

"We need to discuss what's happening with your workers" Espio said, "I know. They're being targeted by the Zoo-Cats" Knuckles replied.

"Yes. I've had a couple of my maids protect them. They are fine" Mario said. Mario often hired battle ready women for maid positions. He'd even train ones who weren't, just so he could hire them. There were a few war vets too. His Butler had severed 2 terms before getting discharged from an injury. The butler went on to learn dark magic become quite powerful. Mario was lucky his butler settled on being a Butler.

"Thank you" Knuckles nodded at Mario. "We should attack the Zoo-Cats again. But we'll surely run into Eggman's people. But then there's Off-Flower.." Vector said. "Let me handle Off-Flower" Mario decided.

"I'll go with you" Espio said, "Its better not to go alone"

"You should take Yoshi with you brother. I'll handle Eggman's minions" Luigi said. He was ready for his rematch with Donald. Everyone agreed to this. Mario would lead a small group against Off-Flower.

Mario called his Driver.

 _To Donald,_

Donald stood in front of several dead bodies. One of them used to be the leader of the lizard army, General Geeko. Donald was now in charge. One of his new allies rushed over to him, "Leader, you have a call" the guard said, presenting Donald a phone. Donald answered it. "Yes?"

"I have a job for you. Meet me at location G2" The caller said. "I'll be there" Donald replied before the call died.

 _To knuckles_ ,

Knuckles prepared himself yet again. But this time it was a full scale invasion. He and his friends had decided to attack three of the Zoo-Cats strongholds. He and Luigi would take 30 people and attack one, Vector and Mighty had a group and Kill would take the remaining. Kill, being extremely clever, had 5 of his people cause mayhem in a few of the Zoo-Cats smaller locations.

Luigi stood beside Knuckles, "Do you think this will work?" Luigi asked. "It'll have to" knuckles replied.

As they were about to leave, Luigi phone rang. It was an unknown number, be Luigi answered it anyway. "Who is this?" He said.

"It's me. Metal" the caller replied. "Who the fuck?!" Luigi yelled. He was about to hang up when the caller quickly said, "I can give you 99 gold bars!"

"I'm listening bitch" Luigi stated.

"All you have to do is suck my dick, bitch!" The caller laughed.

Luigi hung up.

No one has time for that shit.

 _To Metal Koopa,_

Metal Koopa finally got someone to pick up. He had been prank calling people for months. He happily drank from his 7'11 mega slushie drink. He wondered what to do next. He also wondered if people actually thought he was made of metal. He was just wearing armor since Bowser's castle was literally a fucking volcano.

He had it off of course. It often got too cold due to the cooling spell inside. There was a knock on the door. "Enter" he said.

It was Todd.

"Woah. I thought you were made of metal!" Todd said. Goddamn it Todd...

 _To Mario,_

After being picked up by Mario's driver, they went to his mansion. Although, once inside Espio felt as if he was being watched by multiple people. One felt very close. Regardless, Mario needed to gather his most highly skilled maid and his butler. His Butler reformed his body through energy from the lights in front of Mario's small group. "Yes Master Mario?" The butler asked. "I need my assassin maid" Mario stated.

The assassin maid undid her hiding spelling and appeared behind Mario. "I knew it" Espio stated. He also mentioned something about training more.

"Master" the assassin maid stated as she bowed. She noticed the Driver was there and glared. The Driver smiled back, but it wasn't a friendly smile. "I need you assist me with a job. I'm going to fight a black ops unit and your skills are needed" Mario explained. The maid pointed at the Driver.

"Uh... Yes. I need my Driver's skills too" Mario nervously stated. He squirmed as he felt the Driver's hand slip down the back of Mario's shirt and soon rested upon his butt. Mario looked unhappy. The maid stepped forward, "Let go" she hissed out.

The Driver did so and smiled.

Mario addressed his butler next. "I need you and the other maids to guard the house" "It will be done sir" The butler replied.

Mario and his group then departed. "I'll give you directions to one of Off-Flower's known safe houses. We can start from there" Espio said. The Driver nodded and licked Espio. "Please don't do that" Espio said.

 _To knuckles,_

knuckles, Luigi and there group were all wandering near one of the Zoo-Cats main bases. The place just had a small sign stating, 'Zoo-Cats place. You are bitch. Where's the a? Why it's up your ass'

Luigi wanted to take that sign down. As they waited for the signal, Luigi noticed a couple of punks pointing at Knuckles and him. He knew trouble was coming soon. He looked towards Knuckles and looked towards the thugs.

Knuckles saw and understood. Their friends needed to hurry.

 _To Sonic,_

"Why do we need the Chaos emeralds?" Sonic asked. "Eggman is planning something" Rouge said, "We managed to intercept some messages coming from space. We believe he's coming back to earth"

"Then we need to be prepared. I have 3 chaos emeralds already. Last I checked, he also had 3. Or someone working for him does" Sonic explained.

"Wait wait wait! You want us to steal shit?" Daffy asked. "Yep" Rouge said.

"Oh fuck yeah!" Daffy said, "When do we start?"

"Now" Sonic said.


	18. Act Two: Chapter sixteen

Chapter sixteen: The Storm part one

Donald met up with his employer. Or at least one of them. It was Robotnik but he had a golden mustache and was wearing some kind of gauntlets. He assumed they must fire something. "Thank you for meeting me here. I will jump right to the chase. someone appears to have stolen a Chaos Emerald from me. The real Robotnik is coming back soon and I need it to keep my position of power" the Golden Robotnik explained.

"Do you have any leads I can start with?" Donald asked. he was handed a tracking device. "One of my bots placed a tracker on the thief. The idiot was dumb enough to lead us to his home. go there and kill everyone. Bring me back my emerald" Golden Robotnik ordered.

Donald nodded and left.

 _To Sonic,_

Sonic and friends had relocated to Tails lab. Once there tails began to tinker with his machines, "I should be able to have a location for some of the Chaos Emeralds pretty soon" he said.

"Good. We need to focus on stealing the ones Eggman already has" Sonic said. "I can see if my contacts have a easier way into some of his bases" shadow said, he pulled out his phone and began to go through his contacts.

"Where are the chaos emeralds we already have?" Daffy asked, "In the lab, but secured. Or at least two of them. I have no idea what Sonic does with the third one" Tails remarked.

"Nothing" Sonic said, hiding the fact that he used it to bring kill to life. while it was stated that he didn't help his dark followers with his own power, he did use the Chaos Emerald. "Let's just focus on the task at hand"

"Whatever bitch" Daffy said.

 _To Goofy,_

"How'd you get your hands on that?" Goofy asked, "Ssssh! it wasn't easy. I had to go through a lot of shit for this" Todd whispered, "Honesty I didn't think I'd make it"

"This is extremely dangerous! you know steal from that Eggman fellow is bad news! Give it to me, maybe I can rush it over to the mouse kingdom for safe keeping" goofy explained.

Todd put his hand up, "No! I'm... I'm going to keep it" Goofy sighed, "Fine. I'll stay here with you until trouble passes. But i'm going to call a friend" Goofy said. He walked over to a corner to make a few calls.

 _To Knuckles,_

Knuckles felt as if they were running out of time. As he wandered around for the ith time, he noticed Luigi staring. They nodded at each other. It was time. Knuckles raised his hand and his people rushed in for the attack. Luigi ran up to the thugs who were pointing at him earlier and bashed one over the head with a bat.

Upon realizing what was happening, they sprang into action to try and defend themselves, but Luigi killed them all with a fireball. Luigi was much stronger than before.

Knuckles was handed a RPG launcher and used it to create a hole in the Zoo-cats owned structure. "Attack!" he yelled as him and 30 followers charged forward. Inside a few Zoo-cats attempted to hold them off with tommy guns to little or no avail. While a few followers went down, most knew shield spells and fired fireballs back. Knuckles managed to strangle two people at once.

However, the leader of the base appeared. His name was lord Murderface. He looked upon knuckles with disgust, "Punk ass bitch. You will die here"

Knuckles laughed, picked up a chunk of stone and tossed it at Murderface. Murderface simply cut it in half with his sword. "Fool! I am power!" Murderface yelled. He leaped towards knuckles, who picked up a metal pipe and their fight began.

 _To Mario,_

Espio worked the lock of the safe house. While it was an old one, Espio was sure he could obtain the location of G.U.N's black ops team Off-Flower. Mario and yoshi waited looking around nervously while assassin maid glared at the driver. "Any second now..." Espio whispered to himself. and finally he did it.

They quickly slipped inside and shut the door. the driver pulled out a device and mumbled something about hacking into the base. Espio and the assassin maid took a look around. Mario sat down. While looking, the maid found some files. "Can you make sense of these Espio sir?" She asked, "Hmmm. I'm not entirely sure if I can" Espio replied. As they looked over the files, they realized little by little that this may be a trap.

This was further proven by the Driver who shouted they activated a bomb that was quickly counting down. Everyone panicked and rushed out of the door with seconds to spare. As the base exploded, so did their hope of finding Off-Flower.

"Damnit" Mario yelled.

 _To Kill,_

Kill watched as its followers detonated key locations with the C4 he provided. No one suspected anyone as the bombers were dressed like everyday common folk.

Kill felt something graze its shoulders and looked around. Walking towards him was this Base's leader Count Birdhammer. "Who be you, but a bitch?" Birdhammer asked. Kill ignored him causing Birdhammer to attack. Kill blocked all of the Count's attacks. The Count jumped back, "My bad. I'll stop toying with you. Bitch" he said.

Kill frowned and jumped at Birdhammer. "You'll die just the same. No need to apologize"

The two clashed in a sea of fists. As the two warriors collided in the air, some of Kill's forces invaded the base. Using tactical measures, they stealthy entered. Within moments gunfire could be heard.

Birdhammer simply pointed a hand at his base and destroyed it with magic. Everyone inside died. "Impressive" Kill remarked.

 _To Sonic_ ,

Sonic, Daffy and Shadow waited in an alley down the street from some sort of battle. "I think I saw Knuckles fighting someone. Maybe we should help?" No one asked.

As they waited for the intel, one of the Zoo-Cats ran down the alley. "Woah! There's more of you?" The thug asked. "Shut up bitch" Daffy said punching the thug in the throat. The thug went down. Sonic, Daffy and Shadow pulled out pistols and shot the thug.

Finally the informant appeared. "Holy shit!" He yelled, pulling a gun. "What the fuck? Shadow, I thought you said he was trustworthy" Sonic said.

The informant rushed over and shot the dead body, "Who is that?" He asked, "I don't know. A random thug" Shadow replied.

"I have the information you are thus seeking in this realm of chaos" the informant said. He gave Shadow a folder and in returned was given an envelope of money and a hash brown wrapped in tinfoil. The hash brown was cooked to a golden brown crisp, lightly salted and kept under a heat lighter for 2 hours. For extra flavor, a bit of garlic salt and pepper were sprinkled on. It would be such a delicate treat for anyone to receive. Of course nowadays, people only care about money.

Shadow and his informant had a bond beyond money. It was to the point that they shared food and money. Now that the first part of the payment was received, it was time for the second. Sonic and Shadow took off their shoes and socks and sat beside Daffy.

The informant pulled out a giant feather and tickled their feet. The Gods saw this and danced and sang in the heavens. The contract that was most sacred was fulfilled. After the informant left, Shadow looked at the information. "Well?" Daffy asked. "Shut up, bitch" Shadow said, Daffy punched Shadow in the stomach.

Sonic took the folder as Daffy and Shadow fought. Sonic did not look at the information. "I see. We'll have to hurry" Sonic said as he threw the folder on the ground. Shadow walked over to pick it up, "What did it say?" He asked as his hand touched the folder. Sonic stepped on Shadow's hand and slapped him like a bitch. "You piece of shit" Shadow hissed.

Shadow used chaos blast and knocked Sonic and Daffy back. The explosion caused Knuckle's fight to stop.

Knuckle's battle with Murderface had relocated to outside. Murderface pondered what was occurring and ran off to find out. Knuckles followed. The two witnessed Sonic and Daffy fighting Shadow. "What the hell guys!" He yelled, but was stopped by Murderface. Murderface lifted Knuckles by the throat and threw him. Sonic's group saw and attacked Murderface. Shadow fired a Chao spear which Murderface blocked via his sword. Sonic used this opportunity to tackle him from behind, Sonic bit into Murderface's shoulder, Daffy fired his pistol at Murderface.

Murderface blocked all the bullets while attempting to knock Sonic off his back. Shadow fires a chaos spear at Murderface again, which is then cut in half. At the same time, Daffy shot Murderface in the leg causing him to fall. Daffy and Shadow rush over while Sonic beats on Murderface's head. Shadow steps on Murderface's sword hand, pulls out his pistol and shots him in the arm. Knuckles walks up and slams his fist through Murderface's face, killing him.

"When did you guys get here?" Knuckles asked. "We were collecting information for something" Shadow said. "Well thanks for the assist. Perhaps if you guys help me take this base out, I'll be able to help you" Knuckles said.

"Shut up, bitch" Shadow said getting into Knuckles face. Sonic pushed Shadow out of the way, "Piece of shit" Shadow said as he fell. "Thanks. We could use all the help we can get" Sonic said.

 _To Todd,_

Goofy had finished making his calls. "Tails seems to be busy at the moment. My other friends are a bit busy. But I did leave a message for the Mouse Kingdom" Goofy explained.

"Good. But we gotta relocate pretty soon. I don't think it'll be safe to stay here. Earlier I received a sign that could spell out trouble" Todd said. He handed Goofy the Chaos Emerald, "Are you sure you want me to hold this?" Goofy asked

Just then, Goofy received a call from Someone. He quickly answered, "Hello?" Goofy greeted, "Shut up, Bitch" Shadow replied. Shadow hung up the phone. "Edgy piece of shit!" Goofy yelled. "Who was it?" Todd asked, "It was Shadow's bitch ass thinking he was clever" Goofy sighed.

The Metal Koopa left his room and quietly exited the house. Off to some place unknown. Perhaps he would relocated his physical being somewhere there was food and other items. A place where you could trade for these things using paper with symbols on them and small circular metal things. The common folk refer to these objects as money. People often traded these amongst their kind for thousands of years. Sometimes there would be seasons were the items wanted came at a cheaper price allowing for people to trade for more while keeping more. But atlas this was not one of those seasons.

The Metal Koopa went to the store.

As Goofy and Todd traded looks, the front door received one knock before exploding. Once the smoke cleared, in came Donald Duck.

"D-Donald?" Goofy yelled in surprise. Donald gave Goofy one look before seeing that Goofy had the Chaos Emerald. "Hand it over Goofy" Donald said.

Goofy put the emerald in his pocket, "No" he said.

Donald sighed before whistling. In came 3 lizard soldiers who tackled Goofy to the floor. Goofy managed to fight his way off the ground, due to his training. He slammed his fist through one of the lizard's bodies, thus killing it instantly. Several more lizard soldiers rushed in and restrained Goofy, pinning him to the floor. Todd decided to try to attack Donald but was shot in the face when Donald revealed he had a shotgun with him. One of the lizards handed Donald the Chaos Emerald. "Good" The duck announced.

"Why are you doing this?" Goofy demanded. Donald walked slowly over to Goofy and looked him in the eyes. "Hey. I like getting paid" he simply stated.

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!" Goofy yelled.

"Shut up Goofy" Donald said. He placed the barrel of the shotgun on Goofy's forehead and pulled the trigger.


	19. Act Two: Chapter seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: The Storm part two

Vector and Mighty pick pocketed the lock to the Zoo-Cats base. With them were a small team of followers. The rest spread around the area in key location in teams of 3. There were 8 teams in total. Vector slowly opened the door and looked around.

He and his team silently stalked into the warehouse building. They were in a long hallway. There was a door in front of them, they quickly got in. A few moments later, a patrol passed. Mighty had already began to issue orders.

The followers were to set C4 charges in certain areas. As the followers left to complete their tasks, Vector turned to Mighty. "We need to find the leader of this place and deal with em" Vector said.

"I've already had my device scan the place" Mighty said, "Soon we'll be able to find whoever's in charge"

"It's a good thing Tails built us these" Vector smiled.

 _To Tails,_

Tails was tackled to the floor by Yogi. "You fucking scumbag!" Yogi yelled in Tails ear. He slammed his fist into Tails face. The punch did little damage to Tails, who simply pushed Yogi off him. "What the fuck?" Tails yelled back.

Birk knocked Yogi out with a baton. "Well that was exciting" Willie said. "This asshole is lucky he's with you guys. He'd be dead if he weren't" Tails grimaced. Willie was looking up something on a monitor. Tails went to stand beside him. "Anything yet?" He asked, "Nothing yet. I believe that a recalibration is in order" Willie replied. Tails laughed, "probably needs a update on everything. It's been a long while since I've used this. We don't often need the Chaos Emeralds"

"Do you think Eggman is planning something?" Birk asked, "He's always up to something. I'm hoping that this time he won't get away with it. Whatever it is" Rouge said making her presence known.

"Knuckles is going to war with that local gang" Rouge took a seat next to Yogi's unconscious body, "I'm sure their war won't interfere with our plans" Willie said, "Besides, we should really focus on the task at hand"

"I've got something!" Tails announced. He quickly brought it on screen. "Hmmm. Not bad... Should we go retrieve it?" Birk asked

"Let's wait for the others to return" Willie said.

"No. They'll be fine on their own. We should go" Tails said. He pulled out his phone and called Goofy.

No answer.

"Damnit"

 _To Metal Koopa,_

The Metal Koopa came home to see that all the houses in the neighborhood were on fire. He wondered why no one called the police, so he did.

He rushed to his house to discovered it was fully engulfed by the flames. "No... My computers..." Metal said sadly. He assumed Todd's recent paranoia was actually true. Bowser did find this dimension and was pissed. Metal didn't have many connections, but he did know one person he could go to. He only hoped it wasn't too late.

 _To Sonic,_

Sonic, Daffy, Shadow, Knuckles and Luigi made short work of the rest of the Zoo-Cats. Sonic and Daffy began to cut off arms and smack each other.

"Dude! What the fuck?" Knuckles cried

"Shut up, bitch!" Shadow replied

"Shadow, I don't have time for your bullshit" Knuckles glared at Shadow.

"Enough of this. We better go help the others" Luigi said. He beckoned for the surviving followers to come. "Hey Luigi, tell your brother that he's a bitch" Sonic said. Luigi ignored him. Mad, Sonic threw an arm at him.

Luigi tackled Sonic and slapped him with the dead arm. Daffy took advantage of this and did the same. Shadow walked over and began kicking Sonic in the face.

Knuckles pulled Luigi off the blue hedgehog. "Stop it guys!" He yelled. "I said shut up bitch!" Shadow yelled.

Having had enough of Shadow's shit, Knuckles charged him. The two clashed in mid air. Luigi fired a fireball at Sonic. Daffy pulled out marshmallows which were instantly toasted. Also Sonic dodged and pulled out Gram Crackers. Luigi stopped his attack and walked over, "What?"

Daffy pulled out chocolate and thus they completed their smores. The three of them ate as they watched Knuckles and Shadow foolishly fight.

 _To Kill,_

Birdhammer fired several magic blasts at Kill. They did nothing. "What?" Birdhammer cried out in confusion. "Join me" Kill stated.

Birdhammer stared at Kill in disbelief. "Join me and become far more powerful than you are" Kill said, "Your powers do nothing to me. So join me"

"Fine" Birdhammer said in defeat. "Come" Kill said as they landed on the ground. Kill lead Birdhammer to a car and the two drove off.

 _To Vector,_

The bombs were set. Although, they still didn't know where the boss was.

"This is getting risky. We should pull out for now" Vector said. "Agreed" Mighty replied. They ordered their followers to evac. As soon as they got a safe distance away, they set off the charges. Well the base exploded, they still had a feeling they missed something. "Let's get back to the meeting area" Vector announced.

 _To knuckles,_

His fight with Shadow was cut short. Very short.

He received a call from the other two teams that they were successful. He decided it was time to leave. He managed to cram his group and Sonic's group into two vans. "It's probably not going to be a tight squeeze"

Sonic shrugged.

As the two vans neared his house, Knuckles got a funny feeling. It wasn't emotional but physical. Like there was a cold thing touching him. He looked down and realized that Daffy placed ice cubes on his leg. "What the fuck?!" He yelled.

"Shut up bitch" Daffy replied.

Knuckles punched Daffy in the face. "Fucking scum!" Sonic yelled. He began to strangle Knuckles, but Luigi tazed him and he let go. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" Luigi questioned.

"Fuck you green guy!" Shadow yelled in Luigi's ear. Luigi uppercutted Shadow. Sonic punched Luigi in the stomach. Knuckles took a hard left in the van causing Sonic's face to slam into the window. Daffy punched Knuckles in the jaw. "Enough!" Knuckles yelled as he slammed Daffy's head into the dash. He stopped the van. "Leave" he demanded. Sonic, Daffy and Shadow got out of the van. "Fuck you Knuckles!" Sonic said.

The van sped off.


	20. Act Two: Chapter eighteen

Chapter Eighteen: Keys and Emeralds

Mario's group approached Knuckles house. Espio had left earlier to see if he can find answers. Mario was a bit surprised when he saw his brother open the door holding a shotgun. "Luigi!? But why?" Mario questioned after nearly having his head blown off. "Sorry brother. I was expecting that blue hedgehog Sonic and his punk ass friends" Luigi explained. He also told Mario about the following trip back to Knuckles house. Mario was pissed.

"I'll got kick his ass" Mario said. He was on his way back to the limo when Luigi stopped him, "No brother. We have more important things to deal with" Luigi said. The went into Knuckles house along with the assassin maid. Knuckles, Vector, Mighty and Kill were already discussing what happened during their missions.

"I honesty think we missed something. Sure the base is destroyed, but I can't shake this feeling" Vector said. "Hmmmm" Knuckles pondered a bit, "I'll send someone to check it out later. Now we just have to deal with Eggman"

"I've return. The whole thing was a trap. They rigged the place to explode. Espio is out looking for some Intel right now" Mario reported.

"Excellent. Soon we can kill again" Kill said.

"For now, we'll focus on Eggman" Knuckles announced.

Everyone nodded.

"Who's the new guy?" Mario asked.

"I am Birdhammer!" Birdhammer said, "He now serves Knuckles" Kill explained, "Kill captured him during his mission" Knuckles added.

"Hmmmm" Mario said.

 _To Sonic_

Sonic and his two friends made it back to Tails. While they had attempted to break into Knuckles house a few times, they had failed due to Kill teleporting them away. They changed up their plans by knocking on the front door. While Luigi did answer a few times leading to a physical confrontation, the last few times he answered with a gun. Not wanting to deal with that, they just left. "Fuck you Luigi!" Sonic yelled.

Luigi felt someone curse him and sneezed. Sonic sat on Tails couch as Daffy concluded they all left somewhere. "Fucking assholes" Sonic said. Shadow placed a small photograph of himself on a shelf near Tails stairs. He then proceed to hang up a few more choice pictures of himself around Tails house. The ones where it showed off his features just right. It was so very important to get your good side when taking a picture of yourself. Who else but you would know how good you look? Well, besides your adoring fan base. But those fuckers keep drawing you pregnant or inflated, so fuck them! Shadow wanted to go to a bar and pick up chicks now.

"Wait Shadow! We need you!" Sonic yelled, stopping Shadow from leaving.

"Shut up bitch!" Shadow said. He walked up to Sonic and slapped him. Sonic responded to this by tackling him and punching him. Daffy ran over to Sonic and slammed a vase over his head, knocking him out. Shadow pushed Sonic off him and punch Daffy.

Daffy blocked the punch and jumped back, "I'll take you down boy!" Daffy yelled. Shadow rushed over to Daffy and pulled out a piece of gum, "Oh shit! I want one! Give me a piece" Daffy demanded. Shadow gave Daffy a piece of gum and won. They smoked some cigars on the couch until Sonic woke up.

 _To Tails,_

Tails and his group flew in the Tarnado Mission jet 5. It could seat up to 16 people and had a stealth mode that Tails constantly upgraded. They had found the location of a Chaos Emerald. Not wanting to waste time, they quickly left for it. "Aren't you worried Sonic and the gang won't know where we are?" Birk asked, "No. I'm just hoping Shadow doesn't hang up his bullshit pictures on my wall" Tails replied.

 _To Sonic,_

Shadow tried to order a mail order bride. Sonic looked out the window and whistled at every lady that passed by followed by a "Bring me more wine!" The outbursts were ignored. Daffy was messing around with one of Tails computers when he discovered something. A neighborhood nearby was on fire. He didn't care at all. What actually caught his eye was that the old man they beat up awhile back was a retired boxer. He called Sonic over and to see for himself. The two further deepened their collective hatred for that damn old man. "Fuck that guy! I'll put a piece of soap in front of him and push him down!" Sonic said.

"I'll pour honey on him, slap him and throw pieces of paper that I set on fire at him" Daffy said. "I'll slap you both, go find him and slap him too" Shadow said. "Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled. He unplugged the keyboard to hit Shadow but discovered a key under it instead. "What's this for?" Daffy asked. Shadow took the key and threw it out the window. "Now you'll never know" Shadow announced.

"You're a bitch Shadow!" Sonic said.

Shadow slapped Sonic Daffy punched Shadow in the gut. Shadow kicked Daffy in the stomach and blocked Sonic's incoming fist. "You scum!" Shadow yelled. Daffy grabbed a brim and bashed Shadow over the head with it. Sonic flipped Shadow off, which hurt his feelings.

The fight was over.

While Shadow sat in the corner sulking, Sonic and Daffy went outside to retrieve the key. A mailman picked it up and handed to Sonic. "Here you go. Now fulfill your destiny" he said. Before Sonic could even question what went on, the mailman kneed Sonic in the gut and quickly drove off. Daffy fired a pistol at the speeding mail truck. A lady and her kid saw from across the street and fled from the area. A old man also saw, he returned to his house to retrieve his shotgun. He and Daffy fired at the mailman. "Damn punk!" The old man yelled. "Thank you Mr. Timothy" Sonic said.

Mr. Timothy left to eat a snack. He had bought some fruit for a new healthy diet. He and his wife started going to the local gym in the hopes of bonding over something new. You don't need to go to the gym just to workout your muscles. You can workout a stronger relationship. But not debt. Never debt.

Mr. Larry from down the street was in a lot of debt. The bill collectors had paid Daffy $20 to go in and break Larry's legs with a metal bat. "Best $20 I've ever made" Daffy said to himself as he remembered shit.

"Let's go check this key out" Sonic said.

 _To Tails,_

Tails, Yogi, Birk and Willie broke into a laboratory via a teleporter. The device emited a loud screeching noise and flashed several colors before exploding. The group had prepared for such an event earlier and thus avoided it. As they gathered around, Birk lit a cigar. "From what my scanners say, it should be near by" Tails announced. "Let's go find a picnic basket first" Yogi said. "No Yogi. We came here for the Chaos Emerald" Tails replied as he looked around the lab.

"SHUT UP BITCH! WE NEED A PICNIC BASKET!" Yogi yelled. "You know what? Fuck you" Tails pulled out a taser and zapped Yogi. Yogi screamed. His screamed attracted the owner of the lab.

"Who's in here?" A voice cried out.

"Shut up bitch" Tails said.

"Which one?" Yogi asked, temporarily forgetting his pain. "Both of you!" Tails replied. "Oh" Yogi began screaming again. Birk pulled out a gun. "How about you show yourself and I gun you down?" Birk asked. "How dare you threaten me in my own home!?" The voice yelled.

It turned out that the owner of the lab was Dexter. The short red head made his presence known to all. With him were his robot guards. "It seems we are in a bit of trouble" Willie said. "No. We should be good" Tails said, "I'm pretty sure I know him"

"Is that so? Let me guess. You want the secrets to my gravitron ray?" Everyone shook their head.

"The super strength formula?"

Again they shook their heads.

"Positron death ray?"

Another head shake.

"What then?"

"Picnic basket" Yogi said. Tails kneed Yogi in the gut. "Chaos Emerald" Birk said. Dexter scratched his head, "Sure, I guess. Take it. I have no use for it" Dexter threw the Chaos Emerald to Birk. "Now leave this place!"

"I'll kick your ass, bitch!" Birk said as he pocketed the Chaos Emerald. "Then you shall die here!" Dexter announced.

 _To Mario,_

Mario watched the news. As usual, the crime rate went up. Probably thanks to what everyone was up to. He also noted that an entire neighborhood was on fire. He'd have to look into that later. He was sure that Toad Todd lived there. As he waited for his brother and Knuckles to get back from the store, his phone rang. "Hello?" Mario answered.

"You need to meet me. I think Bowser killed Todd" Metal said.

"I'm on my way" Mario said. Birdhammer saw Mario get up and thus choose now to speak words towards his general direction. "Allow me to help" Birdhammer offered.

Mario nodded. He, Birdhammer and not the assassin maid left knuckles home. The assassin maid was with Luigi. I mention this now for I have the power and authority to do so. So fuck you.

 _To Donald,_

Donald personally handed the Chaos Emerald to Gold Robotnik. "Excellent and right on time. Good doing business with you" Golden Robotnik said as he handed Donald a suitcase full of money. "Indeed Mr. Robotnik" Donald answered.

"Donald. Call me Mr. Gold" Mr. Gold said.


	21. Act Two: Chapter nineteen

Chapter Nineteen: Pointless

Sonic was about to call Tails when Luigi called him. "You are bitch" Luigi said, "I fucka your mother"

"This guy is a legend!" Sonic shouted but then added in a calmer voice, "Almost as legendary as me plowing head first into your mom"

"Fuck you bitch. Listen, our plans will soon come into fruition and thus will our safety group come into power from the ashes of the old one" Luigi announced. Sonic itched his belly, slowly and surely his hand ventured downwards as he talked to Luigi. He slightly closed his eyes as his hand had almost reached the promised land. Shadow saw this and punched him right in the groin. Sonic screamed into the phone. "That's it! I'm coming to kick your ass bitch!" Luigi said.

"Sonic. Now's not the time to speak to your whores on the phone. We need to find out about this key as we have no other purpose as of right now!" Shadow shouted.

"Whore?! Put me on speaker" Luigi demanded and Sonic complied. "Listen here bitch. I'll whoop your ass!" Luigi shouted, "Fuck you Green guy! Come over right now!" Shadow shouted back. "Bring a bat! This fucker threw our 'only purpose' right out of the window in the first place!" Daffy chimed in.

"Shut up bitch!" Shadow yelled as he took a swing at Daffy. Daffy ducked under.

"I'm already on my way there. Soon you'll all be dead" Luigi announced.

Sonic threw his phone out the window and Daffy tackled him. As the two fought, Shadow ran out and caught the phone and ran back in. "Fuck this shit. I want you here now!" Shadow demanded. "Quit being hard for me, you piece of shit. Soon I will be there" Luigi said.

Although, Luigi was standing on Tails roof, seeing as Tails didn't live that far from Knuckles in the first place. The Assassin Maid, whom I haven't named yet but will eventually get around to it, was with Luigi. Luigi began to peel an orange, throwing discarded pieces at nearby people. Until one person spoke up. "Get down from Tails roof! I'll kick your ass"

It was Ryan the living bomb. Shadow peeked his head out of the window, "Shut up bitch"

"Fuck you edgelord" Ryan said

"Don't make me call my boys on you!" Shadow replied, "In fact, after Luigi gets here and I kick his and Daffy's asses. You're next"

Luigi dropped an orange peel on Shadow's face. "Eat this bitch!" Luigi said.

Shadow threw the peel at Ryan. "Come outside" Ryan calmly said. But the look he gave Shadow said otherwise. "Fuck you" Shadow said.

 _Meanwhile,_

Sonic tried calling Tails to get him to answer questions. "Damnit. It went voicemail! Tails is a bitch!" Sonic screamed. "Fuck this key! Let's go attack people at the store" Daffy said. As they exited Tails house, they noticed a fight going on between Ryan, Luigi and Shadow. "Come on assholes, we're going to the store" Sonic announced.

"OK" everyone including Sonic said. The neighbor even came out and said it to. "Come on gang, I'll give you a lift" the neighbor said. It was Mr. Timothy who done did the thing he just done did. You read it not too long ago, so I shouldn't have to repeat myself. Unless of course, you're a piece of shit, then fuck you. Mr. Timothy got his van started up with a sound that sounded like a lighter turning on. It was a click. A quick yet quiet click. Not unlike the sound of a death beam or an assassin's bolt embedding into fleash. Okay, that bolt sound is sexy actually. Listen to it. Mmmmmm.

Anyway, Sonic and the gang got into the van. Mr. Timothy had gotten on his ballistic suit that could protect him from fire, rain, bullets, God thunder, God fire, knife attacks, sword attacks. But it wouldn't protect his honor as a warrior or him from a shogon attack. Perhaps even the legendary soldier, the Big Boss might decide to kill Mr. Timothy, who's suit could never withstand such might.

Sonic rolled down the window at the light. Next to the van was a couple in a sports car. They had their roof down. Sonic poured wine on the driver. "HEY!" The driver yelled.

"Sonic. Tell him" Shadow said.

Sonic nodded at Shadow and then addressed the driver. "Shadow said to shut up bitch or he'll call his boys on you"

"Sonic, my boy. Tell him" Mr. Timothy said as well.

Sonic nodded at Mr. Timothy and then addressed the driver yet again. "Mr. Timothy said fuck you scum. He'll kill you right now"

"Sonic. Tell him" Luigi said.

Sonic nodded at Luigi and once more addressed the driver. "Luigi said he'll wait till your whore spawns a baby. He'll then strangle and eat it In front of you. Then I'll force your whore to eat the afterbirth"

The driver got out of the car. He was fuming. "Step out of the car"

Sonic got out of the car and was punched in the belly. Sonic fell. Shadow, Luigi, Ryan and Mr. Timothy quickly got out and attacked the guy. Daffy followed suit and kicked Sonic while he was done. The assassin maid stayed in the van. The driver's wife screamed and attempted to break up the fight. She was actually successful.

Everyone apologized to each other and hugs were given out. Only because Ryan knew how to settle a fight. He was an expert negotiatior. He also didn't see that Daffy snuck up behind him with a bat.

Sonic tackled Daffy before he swung. "Not this time bitch" Sonic said. "Damn you hedgehog!" Daffy yelled.

Daffy's evil plans were foiled yet again. But none could stop Sonic as he decided to pull out a grenade and

"Let's get to the store!" Shadow yelled

"Our only purpose right?" Daffy asked

"Shut up bitch" Shadow said.


	22. Act Two: Chapter twenty

Chapter Twenty: Tails

Mario and Birdhammer walked into the local Taco bell. "What are we doing here?" Birdhammer asked. Mario pointed at Metal, "I'm sure he's made some deals. There's no need to be sneaky" Mario said.

The two of them approached Metal Koopa. "It's been a long time Stanley" Mario said. "You're the only one whoever calls me by my name. It's always Metal or Koopa or the combination of the two" Metal said. "So what makes you think it was Bowser?" Mario asked.

"Todd had brought something with him. One of those emerald things" Metal explained, "He also brought over a friend. Someone who is also dead I'm sure. I think his name was Goofy"

Mario gasped. He quickly dialed up Tails but received no answer. He called Sonic.

"What's up bitch?" Sonic said.

"Sonic... Goofy is dead" Mario sadly said.

"So what?! Fuck Goofy! I wanted him to die" Sonic yelled.

Mario hung up and called Daffy. "Daffy. Goofy is dead"

"Damnit! Not him! He was a good roommate and a good friend... Who did it?! I'll kill the fucker!" Daffy yelled.

"It was probably one of Eggman's people" Mario said, "we'll meet up soon"

He hung up. "What are we going to do?" Birdhammer asked. Mario looked at Birdhammer and then Metal. "I'm sure this wasn't Bowser. We need to find Tails. Todd got into something he shouldn't have"

 _To Tails,_

Tails and his group his behind some walls as Dexter's robot rained laser beam after laser beam upon their position. "Damnit Birk! Why did you do that?" Tails demanded. "Hey! He was asking for it!" Birk replied.

"You could always apologize" Yogi suggested. "I don't think that will actually work" Tails said.

Yogi took a quick peek at the robots before replying, "Yeah. You're probably right. This guy wants us dead and we're already surrounded"

"He's right. Look at how some of these shots are being fired. They're shifting positions. Most likely because backup arrived" Willie said. "Fuck this shit. Let's just leave" Tails said as he activated a teleport device. The four of them quickly rushed into the portal.

After a few moments, the portal exploded. Dexter ordered a ceasefire and checked out the scene. "So they escaped. Very well. I'll hunt them down at a later date"

Tails and his group appeared upon his jet. Rouge was piloting it when they showed up. "Was the mission successful?" She asked

"We got it. But he's pissed. Let's get out of here before we start talking details" Tails said.

"Roger that" Rouge turned the jet around and they headed to safety.

Tails turned on his phone to check his messages.

 _To Knuckles,_

Knuckles, Kill, Vector and Mighty decided to find where Luigi went to. Kill just teleported his group to where Luigi would soon be. The store.

As Mr. Timothy parked. Sonic's group got out of the vehicle to come face to face with Knuckles group. "Hey. You guys came to join us?" Sonic asked.

"No. We're for Luigi" Knuckles replied.

"Knuckles... Did you hear the news?" Daffy asked, "Goofy is dead"

Everyone except Sonic was shocked. "Fuck Goofy" Sonic said. Knuckles and Daffy tackled and punched Sonic. "No! Fuck you!" Daffy yelled.

"Who did it, Daffy?" Luigi asked. Daffy got up, "One of Eggman's people" he said bitterly. Knuckles and Sonic got up quickly, "Eggman..." They both angrily spat out. "We need to go see Tails" Sonic said.

 _To Tails,_

A bird landed on the jet's wing. It started smoking crack. The black tar crack. It was excited as no one would be able to stop it. Tails saw and activated Wing Safety Protocol. A turret killed the bird instantly.

"Looks like I got a lot of people to call back" Tails said. "Fuck those people" Yogi said. He pulled out a bat and swung it at Tails. Tails ducked under the blow. Yogi screamed in hatred as he rushed forward to tackle Tails. The two slammed into Rouge and she lost control of the jet.

"Shit! You fucking useless bear! We're all going to die!" Tails yelled

The jet spun as it flew towards the ground at an alarming rate. Everyone braced for impact. "I'm so kicking your ass if we survive this" Tails, Birk and Willie told Yogi.

 _To Doctor Robotnik,_

Earth.

A place that he hadn't thought about for years. As the memories slowly began to trickle in, he smiles. From his harsh childhood, to his innovative and scientific teen years to his adulthood. Technology was always part of his life. He shaped it as it shaped him. But that wasn't the only thing in his life.

Failures.

There would be a point in his life where all that he created would be destroyed. A event that would repeat itself over and over again. Defeat at the hands of his greatest nemesis. The hedgehog.

The scientist gritted his teeth as the bitter memories took ahold of the scene. His inventions destroyed, his plans foiled, his humiliation spread throughout the world. Broadcasted. All would know. In his anger and defeat and shame, only one plan came to mind.

Escape.

Escape and grow. Escape and learn. Plot and build. He didn't leave alone though. He had gathered brilliant minds and together they plotted. They left for the stars and together they conquered. Together they were one.

The Robotic Empire has come at last for the promised land.

And soon Ivo Julian Robotnik would have his revenge on that damned hedgehog. Once and for all.

 _To The Kill of Kills,_

He sits alone as he's always been. A murderer of legend. One of his challengers have recently fallen. And perhaps a few more would follow soon.

He however thought not.

With such power as his, would stopping one plane be too much for him to handle? No, for it would barely even count as a simple distraction. But regardless of his boredom levels, he would still accomplish what he set out to do. Save his challengers so they could challenge him. There's were so very few who could put up a decent fight. One might even say Hamster Man-made would be one such being.

No.

Never him.

Infact, he was never brought up at all.

 _Zoo-Cats secret base,_

The Zoo-Cats were still here. Their bases all may have been destroyed, but they, the members of Zoo-Cats were still here. And they were pissed. Soon they would make their move against Knuckles and his friends. In fact. They knew where he was right now.

The leader of the Zoo-Cats, Ziga master of the temple trees would lead his army to attack. But just then someone called the great and powerful Ziga. "Hello?" Ziga asked.

"Shut up bitch" Shadow said and hung up.

Ziga was speechless.

 _To Captain Gunkill,_

Captain Gunkill had been quite busy killing seagulls and not bothering to attack Sonic. Old man Knuckles knew this and so told Gunkill that Daffy was a bird. Gunkill was pleased by this and swore to take action soon. He had eaten some fired bird meat and would soon attack someone.

After needlessly killing several innocent bystanders in a fit of psychological damning 'passion', he'd soon start his job. The kill Sonic job. The one he was hired to do.

But fuck this guy. Why'd I even put him in this story? Fuck it.

As Captain Gunkill prepared himself, he took out a sandwich and stared. The sandwich was glorious. On it was 3 types of meats, 5 types of cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles and bacon. It had a spicy mustard, mayo and a chili green paste. It was very unique indeed. The Gods sang songs about. Even God chimed in. But only after brutally murdering 500 birds in the sky above Gunkill. Gunkill smiled.

But like I said earlier, fuck this guy.

 _To Mario,_

Mario, Birdhammer and Metal walked out of the taco bell. Mario spotted a rabbit. "Fuck you rabbit" Mario said.

The rabbit was Buggs, "What you say, bitch?"

Mario walked over to Buggs and the two bumped heads. "Damn. You win this time" Mario walked away. His two followers followed. But Buggs, confused about what happened, followed as well. Buggs called up his boys to meet him.

"Where to now?" Birdhammer asked, "Like I said. We're going to find Tails" Mario replied.

"The fox guy?" Birdhammer asked again.

"Yep. The fox guy"

"Oh well fuck him"

Mario smiled, "Yep. Fuck him"

 **End of Act Two**


	23. Previously on Spiderman

Previously on Spiderman

Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider created in a lab. The lab was owned by none other than Norman Osborn, who wanted to find a way to create his own supersoldier. Upon being bitten by the radioactive spider, Peter's DNA went through a rewriting and merging process that thus granted him his amazing abilities as the one and only Spiderman!

Now, as we go back and see all that he has accomplished in his four years of being the protector of new York. A threat has arisen in a form of six people. Dangerous they might be alone, but together they are sinister.

As Peter is on his nightly patrol one night, he strangely received a phone call. Although he remembered putting it on silent, he answers. "Hello?" Peter asked.

The call was coming from an unknown number. Perhaps it was a wrong call?

"Shut up bitch"

"Who is this?" Peter demanded.

"Demand shit from me again and I'll call my boys on you"

"Wooah tough guy. Calling your kids to fight your own battles" Peter said

"Fuck you bitch. I'll come and whoop your ass. And then I'll go to Arby's and eat my KFC and McDonald's there"

"Um. OK... Good luck with that" Peter hung up. "Woo boy, what's this town even come to? I hope that was a prank call"

But it wasn't. It was Shadow the fucking Hedgehog who is also the Barboon. And this is Sonic Adventures Act 3.


	24. Act Three: chapter one

Sonic Adventures

Act 3: Chapter One: Same old crew

Shadow stood by Mr. Timothy's van and peeked in the window, "Fuck you assassin maid!" Shadow yelled. The maid ignored him, causing him to pull out his phone, "I'll fucking call my boys on you"

The maid gave him a brief look. She looked past him to see if Luigi was alright. After confirming thus, she returned to waiting.

Ryan walked over to Shadow and kicked him in the back. "Fucking scum! Leave her alone!" Ryan the living bomb commanded. "You're a bitch!" Shadow yelled in Ryan's face. Sonic walked over and broke up the fight. "Stop. We need to find Tails and we need to find him now" Sonic commanded. "Shut up bitch" Shadow said. Sonic slapped Shadow, grabbed his hand, pulled him over and punched him in the face. Knuckles ran over and kicked Shadow in the stomach.

"You're a bitch!" Ryan yelled. He fired a laser beam at Knuckles. Knuckles jumped over it and landed an elbow on Ryan. Ryan yeilded. For now.

"Stop fighting!" Luigi yelled.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

Luigi ran at Shadow. But Shadow just flew away from the scene. "Let him go" Daffy said as he and the rest of the group walked over.

"Damnit! Fucking Shadow and his edgy bullshit! We needed him!" Sonic yelled.

"It's fine" Daffy said. He walked over and slapped Sonic, "I said it's fine, bitch!"

"Fuck you Daffy!" Sonic said as he tackled the duck. Kill walked over and watched the whole fight. Mighty and Vector separated the two. "Enough of this. We need to find Tails. Sonic, do you have any way of finding him?" Knuckles asked.

"No" Sonic spat out.

"Daffy? Do you?" Vector asked.

Daffy spat in Vector's face. Vector responded by slamming Daffy onto the ground.

"Wait!" Sonic remembered, "Let's go to Tails house. I just remembered something!"

Kill teleported everyone to Tails house, "Holy shit!" Sonic screamed. He sucker punched Mighty in the face and jumped out of the window. "Damnit! Now we'll never find Tails!" Daffy yelled, "After him!" Luigi yelled. The assassin maid followed Sonic.

 _To Mario,_

Mario knew he was being followed. He turned and saw a teenager. "What you want bitch?" Mario threatened as he took out a bat. The teen took a step back. "Fuck you brat!" Birdhammer yelled, "We'll fucking kill you" Mario said.

The teen fled for his life. Mario nodded his head at Birdhammer. "Thanks for having my back" Mario said. As the two walked to a computer store, the real follower revealed himself.

Buggs Bunny desguised as a mail box. And also Solid Snake who was hiding under a box. But let's not forget the Skooma dealer, who drank 50 bottles of skooma and was fucking floating. But no, Mario assumed that shit was normal and that mail boxes and regular boxes can move on their own. Fuck you Mario, because you are wrong once again.

Buggs looked at the other two followers and asked, "Eh, what's up Doc?"

"I'm just here to do some online shopping. I didn't feel like taking the jeep here" Snake said. The Skooma dealer just screeched and flew higher into the sky.

The screech alerted Mario, who in turned fled the computer store with Birdhammer. God was also alerted and cancelled his HBO subscription prematurely. The other Gods taunted God because of this. God became so angry that he created a new type of bug. And so the two headed spider fly was born. It was nonvenomous but would land on you and spit. Just spit and move. It ate berries by injecting it with Skooma and getting high off the fumes. After getting high, it could extend its tiny mouth to fit a grape sized fruit inside it. The grape would of course be compacted via computer software. It would have to update Windows every once in awhile due to new features and the such. But it was a small price and the updates were free. It only costed time. It also had a longer shelf life than baby carrots. 90 days.

After 15 days, its body clones itself as a newborn and those newborns clone too. The process was infinite. People were now terrified of God's creation that he finally got around to creating. He did say he was going to make it back in his college days, but was busy with school work and work and blah blah blah. Fuck you God.

God was pissed and made the writer write a paragraph dedicated to Hilbert the Glorious.

Hilbert the Glorious is a middle aged man who takes bath at 1am and screams at air planes. He owns a collection of swords that could arm a local gang. Which would be about 40 to 60 swords. He watches Sword Art Online and thinks it's the greatest anime ever and that Asuna is his Waifu or foo or whatever. Fuck SAO and fuck me for writing this pointless paragraph.

Mario fled from the floating Skooma drug dealer, who began chasing him. Mario threw small pieces of bread at the Khajit madman in hope of pleasing him. But it seemed the bread was the reason why the Skooma dealer was following. He was happy about the bread. It made him feel complete. Birdhammer tried to attack the Skooma dealer but was killed by a powerful lightning spell.

"Holy shit!" Mario screamed.

The Skooma dealer then picked up Mario and flew away. He wanted Mario as his new lover.

Buggs was not about to let this happen.

 _To Tails,_

Rouge struggled to take control of the jet after Tails was tackled into her. All this was Yogi's fault. "Fuck you bear guy!" Tails screamed, he took a step forward to attack. But Yogi pulled out a blow dart. "Step forward to die" Yogi said. He blew his darts and Tails dodged.

The jet took a sudden nose dive, as the darts had hit and killed Rouge. Yogi pulled out a gun and pointed it at Tails, who rushed to take control of the jet. Birk tackled Yogi and thee two struggled for the gun. But Yogi overpowered the cop. "You can't beat me" Yogi said as he shoot Birk in the head. Willie backed up into the shadows.

"Why are you doing this?" Tails asked as he put autopilot on. "We never got the picnic basket" Yogi said sadly, "Ever since I was but a wee lad, I've had a thing for picnic baskets. McDonald's wasn't good enough nor was Taco bell. But Jack had the box. So I ate there and became happy"

Yogi began to rub his belly, "It was so good! I even pushed the other customers out of the way to beat off to the cashier. The cashier happened to be a lady who tazed me. It felt so good when she slammed her boots on my face. But the cops came and I had to get the fuck out of there"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tails asked.

"When I went to the store three weeks ago, I met a man named Larry. He had been there when I was at that place. The place called Jack in the box. He remembered me because I pushed him drown and bitch slapped him. He pulled out a knife to rob me, but I ain't got any money. Realizing that, he pulled out soap and shoved it up my ass" Yogi laughed, "I clamped my butt cheeks to keep his hand in there and stole his wallet. I unclamped and ran, but he chased"

"Yogi, this is really disgusting" Tails said

"What's really disgusting is when I stuck my hand in my ass to grab the soap. Of course I ate it. I mean, who wouldn't?" Yogi explained.

"Shut the fuck up" Tails said. This rewarded him with a bullet in the leg.

"I am tired of you. I will kill you and then eat one tail. Only one" Yogi shook his gun, "Then I'll eat this and kill the wolf guy with this" he pulled out a cigar.

Just then Willie tackled Yogi. The two struggled for a bit before Yogi pushed him off. Tails had snuck up and taken the gun. "Fuck you bear!" Tails yelled. Yogi calmly reached into Birk's pocket and pulled out the Chaos Emerald. He used Chaos Control to escape. "Damn. What do we do now?" Tails asked.


	25. Act Three: chapter two

Chapter Two: My time at the park

Shadow sat on the ground and punched a rock. He decided to call Rouge but Tails said she was killed by Yogi. This angered him more, he had liked Yogi. But now the bear must die. He knew Sonic and the others were waiting for Tails and that having actually talked to Tails was a big deal. He didn't care. Fuck Sonic. Fuck the Chaos Emeralds. And fuck everything and everyone, this of course includes you reading this. Fuck you too. Shadow began smoking a cigar when a park ranger walked over to him. "Put that out now"

"Shut up bitch" Shadow rerplied. He didn't even bother looking at the ranger, so he didn't notice when the ranger bent over and took the cigar from him. Shadow screamed. "I'LL FUCKING CALL MY BOYS ON YOU!"

The park ranger had already left. Shadow decided to strangle some animals. He stalked some deer and tried to approach. But they knew he was there and fled. Shadow then decided to use his movie style cut scene Chaos Control powers to teleport and kick each deer in the face. He snapped the last one's neck. "What the fuck man?" One deer asked. "Deer aren't don't have the English program supported on their hard drive. I suspect you have all been hacked" Shadow explained.

The deer all gasped. One even killed itself by deleting programs with wild abandon. It accidentally deleted its life support unit system and died. Shadow and the remaining deer pissed on the fool's corpse. A hunter came by and kneed Shadow in the chest. Shadow pulled out a knife and slit the fucker's throat.

"Okay deer. Follow me now!" Shadow screamed.

"Oh OK" the deer replied

Shadow teleported to a tree. The deer tried to teleport but overloaded their software and exploded. The explosion caused the forest to set on fire. Fire became the flames that would burn and kill. Murder would these flames accomplish in such a short time. Shadow would make sure of it.

The park ranger returned with a gun and the fire department and a couple of police officers. "HEDGEHOG!" The park ranger screamed.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Shadow screamed back.

The ranger fired a warning shot that hit the branch near Shadow's head.. Shadow lept off the trees and into the flames. The police followed but burned to death. Shadow had actually just teleported away as he wasn't fucking retarded. The ranger knew this and began helping the fire department deal with the murderous flames.

From the distance, Shadow watched. He observed and decided to smoke a cigar. After he finished it, he broke into the Ranger's office and began stealing things. A chair, pens, documents, a mirror and a desk drawer. He dumped the contents of the drawer on the floor. As he walked out of the office, five more rangers were waiting for him.

"Put it all back"

"Fuck you" shadow replied.

"We're not above kicking your ass"

Shadow pulled out a gun. The rangers each pulled out the staff of Tomorrow. This staff could extend and fire missiles, fireballs and death ray beams. Shadow surrendered. As he cleaned, he would scream "FUCK THIS PLACE!" or just scream in general. He took a long time cleaning and therefore wasted the Ranger's time.

The ranger whom Shadow encountered first had returned. She walked over to Shadow and demanded he hand over his lighter. But Shadow didn't use a lighter to light his cigars. He used the power of Chaos. It resided in anyone who came in contact with the Chaos Emeralds or some shit like that. He told the ranger to bend over for him. He was slapped.

Shadow screamed and fell to the floor. He knew birds were coming to kill people. But he didn't know how. He tried to tell the ranger this, but she only cared about how dangerous Shadow was for the park. She said she would call the vet or perhaps even the Pound.

Shadow remarked how he'd like to pound her. He stared at her boobs. She pulled out a taser but he was unaffected by it. Pepper spray however.

"IT BURNS! YOU BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

Sonic called Shadow but the ranger had taken his phone. She answered it, "Who is this?"

"Tell Shadow I said 'Shut up bitch' and also, tell yourself to go fuck yourself" Sonic hung up.

"WAS THAT SONIC!? SONIC SAVE ME!" Shadow screamed.

"He already hung up. He also told you to 'shut up bitch'" the ranger said.

"That motherfucker! We have to go kick his ass and burn his house down" Shadow demanded.

"Not until you pay for what you've done" a new voice said.

It was Smoky the bear. "Fuck you bitch" Shadow stated as he wiped his eyes, "I'll fucking call my boys on you"

Smoky punched Shadow in the face and kicked him, "I've dealt with your kind before, scum!" Smoky said, "Hedgehogs?" Shadow inquired.

"No. Barboons. Did you really think you were the only Barboon out there? There are plenty of your kind floating about. I'm just lucky you haven't yet awaken as one. I don't want my people here to be hurt"

"Fuck you for explaining things!" Shadow yelled, "I'll fuck you up!"

"Go ahead and try it punk" Smoky said.

Shadow got up and pulled out a cigar, but Smoky slapped it out of his hand. "You piece of shit" Shadow said, "What do you want?"

"Like I said earlier. I want you to pay for your crimes" Smoky said.

Shadow teleported out of the building and ran.

"I see you're going to make this hard. Lena, call my Woody friends" Smoky said to the ranger, finally naming her. Assassin maid still needs a name. Fuck you writer. Lena nodded her head and pulled out her phone.

As Shadow ran further into the woods, he encountered a bear. It wasn't Yogi. It was Booboo! "Hey you!" Shadow yelled, Booboo turned and looked, "Yes?"

"Fuck Yogi" Shadow said

"You know that madman?"

"Yes. He killed two of my friends. He needs to pay" Shadow said

"That's nothing. A few days ago, Yogi killed all the children in a local orphanage. He only did it on a whim and because one of the kids didn't share a chocolate bar with him. The thing was, he didn't even like that brand. I tried to get him to realize that before he attacked anyone, but you know Yogi. He killed 35 children that day. There was a man hunt with police dogs and it was all over the news. But it was of course it was overshadowed by the other usual crimes. This place has really gone downhill. This is why I've been living here in the woods" Booboo explained, "Also, I've legally changed my name to Jeff. It's better I not associate with a child killer in any way possible. If you do see Yogi again... Kill him"

Jeff walked away.

Shadow had no idea what to do with the knowledge that was dropped on him. He itched his belly. As he sat on a rock, he reflected on what he's done so far. Which was nothing. He regretted not yelling more at the assassin maid. "FUCK YOU ASSASSIN MAID!" Shadow screamed. At Tails house, the assassin maid sneezed. "Are you OK?" Daffy asked. Daffy then looked up and saw what was going on. "Fucking Shadow!" Daffy yelled.

He asked Kill to relocate him to where Shadow was and Kill complied with his wishes. This did not conflict with the story at all. Daffy smiled as he walked over to Shadow. He slapped his bitch ass to glory. "Take that bitch!" Daffy yelled.

Shadow rubbed his face, "Daffy you're here! Thank God!"

Daffy blinked.

"What?"

"We need to get out of here and fast!" Shadow yelled.

"It's too late for that" Smoky said as he and a few others walked forward to reveal themselves. Wood elves, except for Lena. "Damnit" Daffy yelled. He pulled out a semi automatic rifle.

"Woah" Lena said as she backed up a bit.

The wood elves however, readied fireballs. "Bring it bitch!" Daffy yelled. He passed Shadow a knife and cabbage that he took a bite out of earlier. "We'll kill everyone here and" Daffy looked at Lena and surrendered.

"WHAT!?" Shadow screamed.

"That's the chick I'm dating. And also I actually have nothing to do with this battle. So I'm free to go" Daffy said. He slammed the butt of his rifle in Shadow's face, knocking him out. "Well he's all yours boys" Daffy announced.

The wood elves walked over and carried Shadow away. Lena walked over to Daffy and gave his head a light pat, "What a good duck you are" she said. Clearly sarcasm. "I had things under control until you showed up. I wanted that promotion and I was this close to getting it! But I guess I'll wait until the asshole breaks out again"

"What were you going to do? Teleport behind him?" Daffy asked. She nodded. Daffy's secret girlfriend knew how to use Chaos Control. But in a limited form. Probably because she once had a Chaos Emerald. Lena handed Daffy, Shadow's phone. "I think that Sonic guy called. He told me to go fuck myself"

"Maybe I'll join you later when that happens" Daffy said, "But for now I've got to go find someone"

Just then. Tails called.

And somewhere, you could probably hear Mario yell out a "Holy shit!"


	26. Act Three: chapter three

Chapter Three: Sonic Dash

Sonic was tackled and held to the ground by the assassin maid. Sonic screamed in her ear which forced her to shove a cloth in his mouth.

"Good job" Luigi said as he and the others walked over to where the action was. Knuckles ran over and socked Sonic in the jaw. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Mighty walked over, picked up Sonic and threw him. Before he could go to stomp the hedgehog, he was stopped by Vector. "This is not the way Mighty!" Vector said. Mighty did not care. The assassin maid went over to Sonic and ungagged him. "FUCK DA POLICE" Sonic screamed.

A police officer who was driving nearby pulled over. As he made his way to Sonic, a bird swooped down and stabbed him. The bird landed behind the cop car. Sonic saw this and ran to catch the officer. "S-sonic... Listen closely... I don't have that much time l-left" the cop said.

"What is it?" Sonic asked sadly.

There was no response.

"What?" Sonic asked again.

Still no response.

"TELL ME BITCH!" Sonic screamed.

The cop head butted Sonic. "I'll kill you and eat your dead body!"

Vector quickly ran over and pushed Sonic out of the way. After lifting the officer up, he threw the cop at the cop's car. Kill fired a fireball at the car, causing it to explode. The bird died as well.

"I guess the bird wasn't the word" Daffy said to tails via a cellular device. His words were transformed into electrical energy and then reformed into words that Tails understood. "What are you informing me about with the use of electrical communication in the digital age?" Tails had inquired from his longstanding companion.

"It appears to be a logical error on my part. I seem to have access to information I previously did not. I apologize for any misgivings that have affected you" Daffy replied. Although perhaps, a question may arise about the occurrence that has otherwise disrupted a peaceful dialogue. I am afraid to inform you that you will receive no information.

As Sonic walked over to Vector, Mighty stood in the way. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said. Sonic tried to slap Mighty, but Mighty was too quick and grabbed Sonic's arm mid strike. "Shit!" Sonic said surprised. Sonic than screamed as he tried to free himself. Luigi ran over to Sonic and grabbed his other arm. He soon began screaming too. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Mighty yelled.

Knuckles walked over, "Guys. We have to stop Eggman. But we need Tails"

"Fuck you knuckles!" Sonic said. He went back to screaming.

Mighty punched Sonic in the face.

Sonic and Luigi stopped. "He's right. We need to find Tails" Luigi said. "We need to use his computer to track his jet" Sonic stated.

"Good idea. That's get to it people" Knuckles said.

Mighty punched Sonic again, "What the fuck, bitch?" Luigi yelled.

Luigi got in Mighty's face, "What. The. Fuck. Bitch" Luigi repeated. He spat out each word as if he were eating the most tender of all beef jerky. Mighty pushed Luigi back and began beating Sonic. Knuckles and Vector rushed over to the situation but, it was Luigi who responded first by tackling Mighty to the floor. As the two fought on the ground, Sonic got up and jumped into the bushes.

"You guys! Stop!" Knuckles yelled. He and Vector separated their fighting friends. "Fuck this red bitch. I'll fuck him up next time he's out of line" Luigi said. Vector was the one who grabbed Luigi, so he let him go. Everyone watched as he walked over to the bushes where Sonic was hiding. Sonic peaked his head out. "Let's go find Tails" Luigi said.

They all entered Tails house. But Mr. Timothy was already on the computer searching. He was inside the house the whole time. Ryan the living bomb stood next to him.

"I found Tails. He's actually on his way here. He made a brief stop somewhere"

"Excellent" Luigi said.

Sonic received a cellular device activation signal that notifies you when there is incoming transmissions from someone who wishes to speak words translated from digital energy to the intended target. Perhaps this way could be seen as a way of assassination. Damn the Gods.

It was Daffy who was calling, so Sonic picked up. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said, "What the fuck? Tails is going to crash this plane into his house and kill everyone inside!" Daffy replied.

"Do it! We don't deserve to live anymore!" Sonic screamed

Tails had taken the phone, "Shut the fuck up Sonic. Listen, Birk and Rouge are dead"

"Fuck you. Fuck those two and fuck dead Goofy!" Sonic yelled.

Tails hung up. Daffy called Knuckles and explained the situation. "I see. We'll keep an eye out for him then. Where's Shadow?" Knuckles asked.

"Dumbass tried to burn down the forest. Smoky the bear has him. At least for now. We can go get his ass later. For now let's focus on collecting the Chaos Emeralds"

"We'll see you soon then" Knuckles said.

"Oh! And one last thing. Well actually two... First, I think I saw some kind of floating cat fly off with Mario. Secondly, punch Sonic in the balls for me"

"Will do" Knuckles smirked.

He walked over to Sonic and slammed his fist into Sonic's groin.


	27. Act Three: chapter four

Chapter Four: The perfect rescue

Metal watched as the city's most notorious drug lord flew off with Mario. He was shocked at how everything went absolutely wrong. He compared it taking the winning lotto ticket in the store to discover that the earnings were only 250 grand. While that was still a good thing, it felt rather cheap and somewhat not really worth it. This was a piss poor comparison. I honestly would have compared it to an old Russian woman picking up the wrong log. It was wrong because she wanted to use it for a bird house. She of course, would have to down another tree with a pocket knife. She was that strong. All Russian woman were, so go Marry a Russian lady now lads.

Bugs approached Metal, "Hey. You know that red Italian?" He asked

"Yup" Metal said

"I called my boys, but they can meet us at where ever drug cat stops at" Bugs said as he walked off. Metal followed closely.

 _To HatMaster67_

The one and only time that an online gamer of this caliber came online was either after 7pm or when shit went down. And did it ever go down as hard as today? No.

The hatmaster sat alone in his room as he usually does and booted up his PC. He was a tad fat. Okay, he's overweight and a huge nerd. His friends often come by to use his WiFi or talk shit. Not about him because he can easily find out about it and honesty speaking, he's the only friend they can be open to. A fact he doesn't quite understand fully. He rather assume it's because he has stacked up quite a good amount of money due to being an I.T guy. A really good one too.

Hatmaster decided to play a quick game of League before getting to the main event. Side dishes are always important. But before he could dig in, he received a call. Espio.

"What do you need this time purple?" Hatmaster asked.

"Information"

"Of bloody course you do. Alright then. What's going wrong this time? Did that idiot hedgehog recreate blendercat again?"

"No. Tails actually got around to wiping Sonic's memory of those events"

"About time. Tell that lazy assholeto to get off his ass quicker next time"

"You know exactly what he'll say to that. But regarding the reason for my call. I need Intel on Off-Flower"

"That old G.U.N black ops unit? Sure. Give me a few hours, I'll see what I can dig up" Hatmaster said.

After the call ended, hatmaster made a quick call to an old contact. "What is it you want?" The contact demanded. "Oh, now you're an hardass huh? Go to the gym once and get steel balls. Sure, that makes sense" Hatmaster said.

"Get to ze point"

"I got a job for you"

"I'm listening"

 _To Mario,_

Mario was screaming at the top of his lungs. He couldn't get himself free from this asshole cat's grip. Even if he could, he'd probably be falling to his death. The cat had gained a lot of altitude.

 _To Sonic,_

Sonic was also screaming. He was on the floor holding himself after knuckles punched his manhood.

 _To Spiderman,_

Peter Parker had got around to tracing the mysterious drug lord that disappeared. He had to go to a very dangerous city. As Peter got off his bus, he witness a lady firing a gun at someone who stole from her. A nearby police officer saw this and threw a knife at her. It hit its mark and killed her. Several homeless exited the sewers to eat the lady's corpse. The thief who got away was hit by a car. The driver got out and started looting the dead body.

Peter was shocked at how corrupt this city was.

Peter shook his head and quickly made his way to the hotel he booked. He regretted having to borrow money from Tony Stark. But since the reviews from the other hotels were downright terrible, he felt that he made the right decision. His phone rang, he quickly picked it up.

"Peter. Did you make it to the town safely?"

It was Mary Jane.

"Oh Mary Jane! I did. I'm just heading to the hotel now. Oh excuse me" Peter had ran into someone. "Shut up bitch!" That someone said. It was one of Shadow's boys. Peter ignored him and continued on his way. But that e boy did not like. He did not like at all. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" The boy yelled. Even though he was a 27 year old man. Peter paused and looked at the guy. "Can I help you?"

"Fuck you" the boy man yelled and just walked away.

'This town is insane' Peter thought.

 _To Metal,_

Metal and Bugs attempt to following the drug lord from down on the ground was failing. "Damn. What do we do now?" Buggs pondered, "Follow Mario's phone?" Metal proposed.

"Good idea. Let's do that!" Buggs said.

"Good. Because I've been tracking his devices for years" Metal said, he pulled out a device and flipped a switch. There was a loud beep. The nearby people began panicking, assuming a bomb was about to go off. Metal threw the device at a nearby window. He and Buggs ran down the street where Metal pulled out the real tracking device. "We should be able to find him now" Metal said.

"What the fuck was that we just ran from?" Buggs demanded. "Nothing" Metal said.

They continued on their way.

 _Back in town,_

A few people wandered over to the device with weapons drawn. "What is it?" One person called out.

A taxi driver poked it with a stick. The device shut off due to no power. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" A mailman yelled.

Nothing had happened when something was expected to. No one knew how to deal with such an event. One person set themselves on fire to please the Gods. As the remaining people gathered around the burning flesh, they began to hold hands. The Gods saw and slowly backed away from this train wreck. One of the Gods summoned a two headed whale with a pack of wolves inside of it, a bear with two knives and 15 puppy sized ants that hate humans five feet in front of the circle.

The whale opened its mouth and out came the mini army. The people saw and rushed to action and to die with honor.

 _To Metal,_

As Metal and Buggs slowly made their way to Mario, Metal noticed that the signal showing them Mario's location stopped moving. "He must be in that little shack at the top of the building there" Metal pointed out.

"Where are you getting your Intel from?" Buggs asked.

"From your mom's asshole, bitch"

"After we take care of this business here, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass" Bugs threatened.

They entered the building. "Can I help you?" The receptionist asked. Buggs pulled out a gun and shot her in the face. Security was alerted which put the whole building on lockdown. "Fuck this shit" Metal said.

The two ran to an elevator, but they were deactivated. "Looks like we'll have to take the stairs. Sure, the other one works, but guards are using those" Metal said.

As he said that, the security team exited the elevator. "FREEZE!" A guard yelled.

Buggs hid behind a trash can and Metal just stood there. The guards all opened fire causing the bullets to bounce off of Metal's armor. "Damn. We just have to kick their asses with mêlée weapons" a guard observed. One guard rushed forward swinging an axe. Metal dodged and slammed his head into the guard's solar Plex. With the guard's orbital constitution out of line, he died in mid air and floated up to the ceiling.

Buggs fired a few shots at the other guards, but they blocked it with shields. "Damn!" Buggs yelled out, "We better get out before they use tactics on us"

The two fled to the fire escape as the guards switched to bows and arrows. They narrowly escaped as it began raining arrows. Most of the arrow fire got caught on the ceiling. After 45 seconds would the chase begin. Everyone knew this.

"Why did we piss off security?" Metal asked

"So my boys don't get caught on camera" Buggs replied smugly.

 _Outside,_

Nate, Steve and the Dog were climbing up the building using power pants to just walk up it. They even made sport of it by racing each other. A helicopter saw this and activated its loud speaker, "Fuck you people. Next time hire me!"

But he would be hired sooner than he thought. As the three made it to the top, they could hear screaming. "We have to hurry!" The dog announced.

 _To Mario,_

The Khajit Drug lord had ripped a hole in Mario's pants and slowly pushed a pencil in his ass, purring as he did so. Mario's screams became much more louder but the drug lord did not care. He would soon have a lover.

 _Outside,_

Nate placed C4 around the shack the screams were coming from. Steve entered the shack and discovered the horrors that were unfolding for Mario. He also noticed chips on the floor. The carelessly discarded food became a top priority for Steve as he lunged for them.

The drug lord saw and knew his chips were in danger. "HOW DARE YOU?!" He yelled.

Steve hissed, pointed at the chips and then his mouth.

Also, Mario stopped screaming. But that wasn't important. The chips were.

"Fuck you writer!" Mario yelled.


	28. Act Three: chapter five

Chapter five: Tails returns

Sonic was on the ground in shear pain. Mighty was watching him like a hawk. Sonic looked over to him and yelled, "FUCK YOU MIGHTY!"

Mighty did not like that one bit. He walked over to Sonic and kicked him in the face. Mighty then pulled out a knife, but Knuckles grabbed his hand. "Let me go!" He yelled.

"No. You are both out of control" Knuckles shouted.

Mighty dropped the knife. "Fine, I'll go cool off" Mighty announced as Knuckles let go. Sonic made eye contact with Mighty, "Fuck you bitch"

Mighty ignored this and walked away. "Sonic, knock it off" Knuckles ordered. "Fuck you Knuckles" Sonic hissed, "Fuck you like I fucked your mom last night while we were drowning inside of a wormhole leading to another dimension! We would have died if it weren't for your sister!"

Knuckles took a step forward, "Sonic... I'm warning you"

"Shut up bitch!" Sonic screamed.

"Enough!" Vector shouted, "I don't understand why we're even arguing with this guy. He's a piece of shit person!"

Sonic got up and rammed Vector to the floor and began pummeling him. Vector pushed Sonic off and knuckles tackled the hedgehog. "You fiend!" Luigi shouted. "Fuck you bitch" Ryan yelled and pointed at Mighty who was running to attack Luigi. Ryan slammed into Mighty and their fight began. Luigi pulled out a bat and began smashing computers. Vector rushed over to stop him.

But...

" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES DOING TO MY LAB?!" Tails howled. "Shut up bitch!" Sonic howled back whilst being punched by Knuckles.

"I'll pay for the equipment for new ones. Some premium military grade shit" Luigi said.

Daffy walked over to Mr. Timothy, "Thank you for the help Mr. Timothy"

"Oh it's no problem. I'll see you youngins later!" Mr. Timothy said. He soon left.

Tails walked over to Sonic to kicked him in the face. Daffy ran over and kicked Sonic also. "Knuckles, we've got big problems" Daffy said.

"New problems?" Knuckles asked.

The fighting stopped.

"Yeah. You're a bitch!" Daffy ran and slapped Knuckles.

Knuckles and Daffy began fighting which resumed the overall violence. Tails started kicking Sonic while he was down. Mighty and Ryan continued their fight. Vector pulled Luigi away from the computers. Luigi responded by head butting Vector which started their fight. The only ones not fighting stood to the sides and watched. Kill smiled at all the fighting, the assassin maid only cared for Luigi's safety. Willie however, got in contact with Espio after hearing about who was in the group via the computer files. He decided to give him a call.

"Espio. Do you read me?"

"Who is this?"

"I'm an associate of Tails and Sonic. I have a request for you"

"Go ahead"

"I'm going to send you a location. I'm hoping you'll be able to meet me and a few others there"

"Depends on who it is"

"Sonic, Luigi, Daffy and Tails"

"Fine. Awaiting coordinates now"

"Thank you" Willie said as he sent Espio the data. He then turned to the violence.

"Knuckles!"

Knuckles and Daffy halted the combative situation they were involved with. "What is it?" He replied.

"I've made a plan to deal with Eggman. I need you to form a team. I'm borrowing Luigi. Sonic, Tails, Daffy and I are going for a emerald. We're meeting up with Espio"

"Great! It's about time we fight someone that isn't ourselves!" Daffy chimed in.

"Or just random people really" Sonic added.

The overall fighting had stopped again. "Eggman was supposed to be the one we all went after. Too bad Sonic's a bitch" Tails said. "Fuck you fox thing!" Luigi shouted.

"Luigi no!" Knuckles said attempting to stop a third fight. "Shut the fuck up Knuckles. You are bitch!" Sonic yelled.

"Don't speak to him that way asshole!" Mighty said. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic replied, he spat on the ground. "Watch yourself" Tails threatened.

"You threatening people fox bitch?!" Ryan yelled running at Tails. Knuckles grabbed Ryan before he got near Tails. "PIECE OF SHIT!" Sonic and Luigi yelled. They ran at Knuckles, Mighty bolted towards Sonic.

There would be a third fight.


	29. Act Three: chapter six

Chapter six: Rage

Mario pulled out the pencil in his ass and got up. He noted that while Steve and the Drug Lord were fighting, he could possibly escape. He pulled out his phone and called the fire department.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" He screamed into the phone

"Don't worry, we're on our way to your current location now" a firefighter said

"Thank you" Mario barely whispered

The drug lord and Steve heard Mario's cries for help but did not care. They needed to finish this fight for the chips.

As Mario got off the object thing he was on, he realized he needed new pants. "God. Give me pants please..." He sadly said to himself. God heard Mario's cries and repaired the ripped pants. Mario jumped in the air cheering. He landed on Nate and the Dog, causing the three of them to tumble.

Mario screamed again as he was once again kidnapped. Nate whistled for Steve, who backed off from his fight for floor chips...for now. The three new kidnappers escaped from the area, Nate set off the C4 as they jumped into the helicopter. The pilot purred with joy as he was finally was hired by someone.

Outside,

Buggs and Metal had escaped the building via the fire escape. They looked up and saw a helicopter in a firefight with a floating cat person. Buggs began to eat a carrot.

"What the fuck is this?" Metal questioned.

The wails of police sirens soon filled the air, "We need to get the fuck out of here" Buggs urged.

Metal pulled out a semiautomatic pistol and a knife that could cut nothing. "Bring them!" Metal challenged. "Not today. We gotta get this red hat" Buggs said.

He grabbed Metal by the arm and they fled the area. What they didn't know was that thecops were coming to fight Count Mack.

Count Mack had broke into a KFC drive through window and began attacking the employees with long bread that was burnt. While the employees were able to fend for themselves for a time, the Count had pulled out a second long burnt bread. This allowed him to easily overpower everyone. A customer had then called the police, pulled out a gun and fired upon the Count. While the customer recorded headshots, it did nothing to stop the Count. The Count wanted a free soda which the manager had finally caved in and gave out. As the Count drank his victory soda, a cop rolled into thee restaurant and threw a smoke grenade. "HOW DARE YOU!?" The Count screamed.

The cop pulled out some nun-chucks and jumped at the Count. The two fools clashed in their meaningless battle. The Gods watched with awe and wonder. Perhaps this would later on be expanded with new story and lore. But only if the Gods themselves will it to be. Or perhaps even the powerful Writer.

But regardless of this, Buggs and Metal fled the area, both vowing to meet up with the others at a later date.

To Mario,

Mario had by then pieced together that his kidnappers were actually his saviors. He would help the trio fight off the Drug lord. Picking up an AK-47, he made his way to an opening, I.e the helicopter door(Which was already opened since Nate was also using an AK). But just then, the Mario's and Nates gun were webbed up and yanked from their hands.

Spiderman had entered the fray. "Didn't that cat meme die years ago?" Spiderman asked as he slammed his foots in the Khajit Drug Lord's face. The Drug Lord hissed and flew higher into the sky. Mario fired a fireball at the cat. The helicopter hissed and fire missiles at both Spiderman and the Drug Lord. Spiderman had doged and rerouted the missiles to crash into each other. But the Khajit had tanked his missiles. "HOLY SHIT!" Mario screamed.

Mario's mouth was quickly covered by webs. The dog growled and threw a bone at Spiderman. "Woah! Bad dog" Spiderman joked, landing on the helicopter. "You bastard! We have to stop this guy! The drug lord I mean" the pilot quickly said. Nate nodded and began throwing rocks at the cat. Spiderman also attempts to web up the cat.

The Khajit's hisses turn into a mighty roar of thunderous hatred. The ground quaked and a storm began to stirr. Mario had burned off the webs covering his mouth, "Fuck you bitch!" Mario yelled at Spiderman.

Spiderman noted that his spider senses are going off with such alarm that a shark could possibly arm himself with so much weaponry, that he could kill at least 45 people. As the Khajit's body begans to glow multi colored, Mario's body begans to glow red. Thinking quickly, Spiderman grabs Nate and jumped off the helicopter just as the Drug Lord slams into the helicopter and Mario slams into the Drug Lord. The following explosion sent a shockwave that caused Spiderman to slam into a building. He held Nate close in an attempt to keep the young child safe.

Once the danger had passed, Spiderman leapt to the ground and released Nate. "Well... It's over" he said sadly.

Nate looked to the ground sadly. He had not only failed in his mission of saving Mario, but he had lost his friends. What would Biggs do when he heard this terrible news? Nate began to cry.

To Buggs,

They could only guess at what occurred. The explosion was felt all across the city. "Did they...fail?" Metal asked.

Buggs shakily took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a puff, he replied. "Shut up bitch" he slapped Metal, but it didn't harm Metal. "We should go check out what happened and then we'll go our separate ways" Metal bitterly spat out.

"Fine"

The two rushed back to the scene of the crime.

To Mario,

Mario had survived. He crashed landed in the KFC building. The Count saw and rushed over to him. Mack began to strangle a dizzy Mario. "YOU'LL DIE HERE!" The Count screamed. The cop that had threw the smoke grenade realized his plan had failed thanks to the red hatted idiot. Soon backup would arrive and none of this would matter. Except for when the Gods would come to have their way. But that was a far off plan. The Gods, God and the Writer would all come together to plot their plots and scheme their schemes. But more importantly, they would eat pizza.

Mario slammed his fist into Mack's face, forcing the Count to let go of the plumber's throat. "Listen here, you piece of shit..." Mario began.

The cop ran forward to attack, but Mario incinerated him with fire. Mario pushed Mack back and stood up. "I'll fucking kill you if you mess with me" Mario said as he walked away.

But the police had arrived. Mario reached for the sky. "HELP MEEEEEE!" Mario screamed at the top of his lungs. A few SWAT team members rushed over and carried Mario to safety. A few more people ran out seeing how the Count was defeated.

The day was saved for now. Count Mack was arrested.

To Buggs,

Buggs and Metal walked back to the crime scene and spotted Nate. Upon regrouping, Nate explained what had happened. "So they're all dead?" Metal asked sadly. Nate nodded and added that Spiderman was also alive. "Fuck that piece of shit. Sure, I'm glad he saved your life. But that fucker's got some nerve" Buggs said, "Most of my boys are dead!"

Metal slapped Buggs, "Shut the fuck up. No one cares"

Nate and Buggs began to viciously beat Metal to the ground with the power of supreme hatred. This was a power Metal's armor could not withstand. "The fuck you say to me bitch?" Buggs yelled, "THE. FUCK. YOU. SAY?" He screamed.

Nate snapped Metal's neck and the two just left his body there. "Let's get the fuck out of here. Time to recruit new members" Buggs said.

To Mario,

Mario called his butler to come pick him up. He was in no mood to deal with the Driver. He had no idea what happened to Metal. Probably killed off in that huge explosion. He assumed Metal was the copilot of that helicopter because I, as the Writer commanded it to be so.

Fuck you Writer.

That statement was ignored and the story continues as so.

As Mario waited sadly, wrapped in a police blanket and sipping a hot drink, he spotted that Rabbit and the young boy he saw Spiderman rescue. "Motherfuckers..." Mario whispered to himself. He vowed to be the one to kill that wabbit if it were the last thing he ever did.

Just then, someone slipped him a card.

Elmer Fudd, Hunter.

"What the fuck am I suppose to do with this shit?"


	30. Act Three: chapter seven

Chapter seven: Birds

Willie fired a gun into the air before another fight could break out. "We have a job to do" Willie said. Knuckles let go of Ryan, "You're right. Let's go get ready for our respective missions"

"Shut the fuck up Knuckles! I wish I was the one who killed your people in a genocide!" Sonic yelled. There was a long pause.

"What did you say Sonic?" Knuckles took a step towards Sonic.

"I'll fuck your mom's dead corpse and eat it. Mmmmm extra crispy" Sonic said rubbing his belly.

Knuckles was pissed.

Tails slapped the shit out of Sonic before he could say anything else. "Enough! Eggman first" Tails told Knuckles. Knuckles, still eyeing Sonic, slowly nodded.

The group split up into two teams. Before they all left, Knuckles pulled Sonic to the side and threatened him, "Listen... After all of this is finished with, you're done. **Do you understand me?** "

Sonic spat in Knuckles face. Knuckles responded by punching Sonic in the face. Tails ran over and dragged Sonic away. Sonic and Knuckles glared at each other as everyone left. "Fuck yupu Knuckles!" Daffy yelled, "I'll whip your ass after this shit!"

"Stay out of this Daffy" Mighty threatened. "I'll shove my foot up your ass, out of your mouth and into mine" Daffy countered.

"Guys! Let's go!" Tails commanded.

Daffy, Sonic, Mighty and Knuckles mumbled an agreement.

Willie's group slowly entered Tails jet. While Willie had Luigi and the assassin maid help him start up the jet, Tails pulled Sonic and Daffy aside. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Both of you!" Tails yelled.

"Fuck off Tails! I'll fuck you up, asshole" Sonic said

"Tails... Our beef with Knuckles has been thawing on the kitchen counter for quite some time. I don't know about Sonic, but I want Tacos and to kick Knuckles ass" Daffy explained.

"After Eggman's taken care of... You two might want to avoid Knuckles" Tails suggested as he walked away.

"Thanks. But we can handle him" Sonic said smiling.

To Knuckles,

As Knuckles and his group got into the van, Vector spoke up. "What are you going to do about Sonic?"

"Let's not talk about that right now" Knuckles said.

"Fine" Vector said.

"Where are we going?" Ryan asked, "We're going to steal from Eggman" Mighty said.

"Fuck Eggman" Ryan said.

To Captain Gunkill,

The reckoning was coming. He could feel it resonating in his bones. Shivers shimmering throughout his body making his bones sing. Fear.

Birds were coming.

To Shadow,

Shadow sat alone in a cold, dark cell.

"Fuck this place" Shadow whispered.

He picked up a chair and slammed it against the wall and screamed.

"THE BIRDS ARE COMING!" He screamed.

"What's going on in here?" Smoky demanded.

"Fuck you" Shadow sat back down, "Where are my cigars?"

"You're not getting anything" Smoky laughed.

"I'll kill everyone here and burn the forest down"

Smoky let the comment pass. "FUCK YOU!" Shadow screamed.

Smoky left the room.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow continued to scream, "I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

Far from here, a bird had been listening to Shadow. He pulled out a phone. After three rings exactly, a voice was heard. "God will damn you" the voice greeted. 'Such a wonderful greeting for all you damned Sinners. You will know the power of God' God wrote. The bird was shocked and realized he called the wrong number. He quickly hung up and texted the right number. He then killed himself.

A few other birds flocked over to the body and burned it. They contained the flames as they were in enemy territory. "Fuck this place!" A bird said.

The birds pulled out knives and pointed them in the air, "Death comes to all!"

The birds had come.

"Hey!" Shadow yelled out attempting to get the Writer's attention but instead getting the attention of the bagman. The bagman tried to climb into the barred windows but failed. Frustrated, he fired a gun at the window.

Shadow rushed over to the window, "Fuck you bitch"

Shadow then looked around and screamed. The bagman ran away as the park rangers appeared on the scene. "Who was that man?" A ranger asked.

"Shut up bitch" Shadow replied.

"Shadow. Who?"

"I SAID SHUT UP BITCH!"

"Let's just leave" a ranger suggested. They did indeed leave. Shadow continued to scream at the top of his lungs.

About birds...


	31. Act Three: chapter eight

Chapter eight: Shockingly fast

Sonic looked out the window. He wanted to be there in the sky, but Tails is a bitch. Sonic wanted to open the door to the jet and let everyone die, but he couldn't. The earlier statement still applies to this situation. "Fuck you Tails" Sonic said offhandedly.

Tails ignored him.

This pissed Sonic off, as he got up he noticed Daffy looking at him. No wait... Through him. "What the fuck bitch!?" Sonic howled. Daffy snapped out of his daydream just as Sonic lunged at him. Daffy easily sidestepped the move and Sonic landed on the floor face first. "Dumbass piece of shit bastard cunt who's face I use to wipe my ass" Daffy began, "I'll throw you out of this plane and crash it into you so we all die together"

"Do it!" Sonic said

Daffy took a step toward Willie.

"Sit down" Tails said.

Daffy took another step.

Luigi got up.

Daffy and Luigi stared at each other.

"Fuck you both!" Sonic said.

Daffy walked over to Luigi and the two began a round of Quack dill-E-O-So. "What?" Tails asked, Sonic threw arock at him, "FUCK YOU TAILS!" he screamed.

The rock was actually a Chaos Emerald. "What the fuck Sonic?!" Tails yelled.

"Hold on to it. I know the other two are on here as well" Sonic simply stated.

"You already know the plan and so does the reader" Tails added. He pushed a button and Sonic teleported to a different location. "Where'd you send him, bitch?" Daffy yelled.

"To the Special Zone. It's a shortcut to one of the emerald locations. Also... GO FUCK YOURSELF" tails screamed as he ran at Daffy. Daffy cleared the rest of the distance by jumping at Tails and the two began their fight.

Luigi walked over to a window and looked out. He wanted to smoke a cigar, but Tails is a bitch. He wanted to crash the jet and escape via a parachute provided by the assassin maid. The two of them could escape and live in the desert. But the reason from before still applies.

"Fuck you Tails" Luigi whispered.

To Sonic,

Sonic appeared inside the special zone, he had to collect 62 blue spheres while avoiding the red ones. "Fuck this shit" Sonic said to no one. Sonic pulled out a cigar and sat down. He took two puffs before calling up the Park rangers.

It was the lady who captured Shadow who picked up. "Hello, this is the Park Ranger's office. How may I help you?"

"Have you recently captured a dark skinned individual who abuses small animals and is also an animal himself?"

"Are you aware of how racist that question sounds?"

"Fuck you bitch! Answer the DAMN question"

The ranger hung up.

"Damnit!" Sonic said as he dialed the number again. But someone else picked up. Smoky the bear!

"Hello? This is the park"

"Fuck you bitch! I'm coming to kick your ass and save Shadow!"

"Oooh you're welcome to try"

Sonic hung up and screamed. He went off to collect the blue orbs needed to pass the level. He complained as he jumped, ran and slid all over the place. Eventually he captured all 62 of the orbs and 45 rings to go with them. Instead of receiving a emerald, he was teleported to a area near one. One of Eggman's emeralds.

But it was a trap!

"Well well well. Look who we have here... An intruder" an Eggman lookalike announced. He flicked a switch and down came a platform with an orange jump suit wearing psycho...

THE SHOCKER!

"Fuck you bitch!" Sonic yelled, "I'll kill your whole family!"

"Woah there, that's not what a hero usually says" the Shocker stated.

"Fuck you and your mother"

"Keep mah mother out of this!"

"Fine! I'll go fuck your sister!" Sonic screamed.

The Shocker fired a shockwave at the hedgehog. "PETA's going to be pissed!" Sonic shouted as he dodged the oncoming barrage of shockwaves sent flying his way. Also, PETA is always pissed. Sonic once dropped acid and tried to strangle a cat after thinking it had betrayed Alice. The same girl who painted white roses red. PETA found out when someone uploaded a video of Sonic on Facebook.

Sonic went in for a punch but was tackled to the ground by a mecha Sonic. "Shit!" Sonic hissed. While mecha Sonic held Sonic down, the Shocker began beating on the poor fool. Sonic screamed and yelled about how he'd fuck the Shocker's sister. The Shocker grew more and more angrier. "SHUT UP!" the Shocker yelled in Sonic's bleeding face. Sonic spat blood on the Shocker's mask, "Suck my balls, Bitch;"

The Shocker began punching Sonic in the balls making Sonic scream louder. As Shocker backed off to calm himself, Sonic did a spin to free himself from mecha Sonic. Mecha exploded due to his humiliating defeat and dishonor for all ages. Bitch ass robot was fucking useless and everyone knew that. Everyone. Even you reader. You knew this to be true after searching deep down in your heart. Because it is true. Eggman even knew. The goddamn creator of the robot knew this particular unit was garbage.

"You may have beaten that robot, but you're too damaged to defeat me!" The Shocker yelled.

"Shut up bitch" Sonic replied as he lunged at The Shocker. The Shocker fired more shockwaves but Sonic dodged around them. Sonic slammed his fist into the yellow jumpsuited foe. Ones punch knocked The Shocker back. Sonic followed this up with a swift kick and a finishing punch. The Shocker was down, but the Eggman lookalike was nowhere to be seen.

"Self destruct sequence has begun. 45 seconds until complete destruction of this facility" a voice announced.

"Fuck this shit!" Sonic yelled as he picked up the unconscious jumpsuit idiot. As Sonic picked up the Chaos Emerald, he received a call.

"Fuck you bitch! I'm busy!" Sonic yelled.

"I'll whoop your ass!" Mario yelled back, "Where's Tails?"

"Go call him, you cunt. Or I'll kill you in your sleep"

"That's it! I'm coming to whoop your ass! Where are you?"

"Meet me at the forest park where Shadow is"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall bitch"

"Fuck you"

Sonic hung up the phone. He had about 28 seconds. He used 10 seconds to grab the Chaos Emerald, slap The Shocker and then teleported back to Tails jet. "Sonic!" Tails yelled cheerfully.

"What bitch?" Sonic replied not at all looking to see that Tails has a bat. He tossed Daffy the Chaos Emerald just as Tails hit him with the bat.

"Bitch ass punk..." Tails said. He tossed the bat to the side and walked away. As he walked over to Willie, he overheard Luigi talking shit.

"Tails is crazy. He thinks he can beat me at Mario Kart, but I know all the secrets. I was IN the fucking game" Luigi explained.

"Fuck you bitch" Tails said

Luigi turned to stare Tails down. "I'll beat you at Kart after the mission. Expect me"

Tails nodded. He turned to Willie, "what's the ETA?"

"30 minutes. But there seems to be a lot of birds flying about" Willie replied.

"Hmmmm. I'll have to ask Daffy about this"

"You know what he'll say" Luigi chuckled.

Tails sighed, "I know..."

To Eggman lookalike,

Sonic had escaped the secret base. But what he didn't realize was, that was the plan. He, Dr. Ivory, will soon obtain four Chaos Emeralds.


	32. Act Three: chapter nine

Chapter nine: Birds attack

Knuckles sat down with his team. "Everyone know the plan?"

Kill nodded, as did Vector and Mighty. But Ryan rose his hand, "Raise the roof, bitches"

Everyone nodded.

"Good. We'll soon attack one of Eggman's generals. Mr. Gold. It is highly believed that he has a Chaos Emerald. Kill and I are going in to scout. The rest of the you will remain here until phase two begins" Knuckles explained.

"Excellent. I can't wait to kill some of Robobutt's boys" Ryan cheered.

As Knuckles and Kill got out of the van, they noticed many birds in the sky. "What the fuck?" Knuckles said surprised.

Kill teleported the two of them back into the van. He than teleported the van back into Knuckles garage. "We are in danger. We MUST remain here" Kill said.

"But why?" Vector asked.

"Birds..." Kill whispered.

To Shadow,

Shadow got up and screamed, "THE BIRDS ARE HERE!"

Shadow attempted to teleport out of his cell but failed. Only because he spotted two birds. "What do you want?" He asked.

A bird hopped forward and spoke, "Fucking scum, how did you find out about our plan?"

"Fuck you bitch"

"We'll let you free and together we can kill people"

Shadow thought about it for a bit. "Smoky is still a threat, you'll have to come back later for me"

The bird nodded and flew away with his friend.

Smoky was also in the room and made his presence known, "If you had gone with them, I would have killed you right then and there"

"Shut up bitch. I'll snap your neck when I break out"

"Ha! As if. Your friend threatened me too. But I'll soon take care of him as well"

"Was it Sonic? Fuck you and fuck him!" Shadow ran to the bars in the cell and gripped them tightly, "I'LL FUCK YOU BOTH UP! Even that DAMN duck Daffy will get it too!"

Smoky walked away, "Keep telling yourself that"

"FUCK YOU!" Shadow screamed.

To Captain Gunkill,

The day that Gunkill was fearing had come to fruition. He received a call from Old man Knuckles. He had hired an assassin to kill him for taking his sweet time. Something he had expected for quite a five minutes before he got the call. But more importantly, the birds were attacking the city.

"Fuck the city" Gunkill said to himself with confidence. He would go out and kill many people.

He prepared his arsenal.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and his group watched as the news reported various attacks happening around the city all because of birds. "We have to do something!" Knuckles yelled.

"This is nature's call. Let it happen. Rebuild the city after as a power play" Kill replied quickly.

"Fuck you bitch" Ryan said.

"What do YOU think we should do then?" Mighty asked Ryan.

"We kill birds now. Right now!" Ryan yelled.

"No" Knuckles said.

"FUCK YOU!" Ryan shouted.

"We need to wait a little longer" Knuckles continued, "Just a bit longer until something happens"

"Fine" Ryan conceited.

To Gunkill,

Gunkill burned down many birds and people in his way via a flamethrower. As he made his way downtown, he noted how some of the birds were forming a group to attack him. "FUCKING BRING IT!"

"You bastard!" One bird called out, "You'll pay for this!"

Gunkill laughed. He tossed his flamethrower to the side and pulled out a large machete. "Come"

A bird whistled and many birds pulled out their respective mêlée weapons. "To death!" The bird captain said.

"To death" the bird soldiers replied.

They flew to Gunkill to thus begin the assault.

The birds flew around Gunkill, taking turns to dive in and slash at the poor bastard. While Gunkill was able to cut down a few birds, he'd soon fall. But not by the birds hands or wings. Blocks away was a sniper who shot the killing blow.

The shot not only took out Gunkill, but also the bird captain. The bird captain's remaining soldiers fled.

Elsewhere,

High in the sky, a group of birds flew. They waited for their time to shine in this strange yet dangerous city. This was the only city that they attacked. This would be the only city they attacked due to the prophecy or some shit.

There was a hierarchy in this swirl of madness. Three birds were in charge of the attack. Two of them killed the other one via poison wine. But it failed due to them flying. The wine was taken by a homeless man, who died five minutes after receiving the wine. A cop placed a extra pistol on the dead man's corpse before firing upon it. The cop however, was stabbed to death by as group of scouting birds.

This would be yet another tragedy in this dangerous town. It wasn't long agho that the Gods attacked the city with a war whale or the war Knuckles had against the Zoo-Cats. Or the other bullshit events. People WILL die.


	33. Act Three: chapter ten

Chapter ten: He knows

Daffy had tied up The Shocker. He also took off the villain's shock gauntlets. I'd like to make a quick comment regarding this moment. I think the use of the word 'villain' is inappropriate in this situation due to the nature of the already established characters. If I may go into more details, I'd add that while Shocker was considered 'bad', the real monsters of the story would be the main cast themselves. As we travel these strange streets with a interesting assortment of scum and insane individuals, there is but only sparks of 'good' people.

But what truly is good and evil? Is it a matter of perspective? And what would be the correct balance or right choice? Good doesn't always win and evil can root itself from a common upbringing. Who is to say that your good could be someone else's evil?

But you, the reader, can go fuck yourself. Sonic awoke from his unconsciousness and looked around. "What the fuck happened to me?"

"Shut up bitch" Daffy informed him.

Sonic thanked his friend by slamming a fist into his jaw. The two then had a friendly discussion that involved their fists. The discussion ended quickly when they realized The Shocker woke up. "Where did you take me, you damn animal!" Shocker yelled.

"Shut up bitch!" Daffy and Sonic replied.

Luigi walked into the area and added to the discussion, "We're nearly there. We will soon come into contact with our valued ally"

"Excellent work, you swine" Daffy said.

"What did you call me, bitch?" Luigi countered.

"Nothing. It's a term of endearment"

Luigi eyed Daffy before Sonic spoke up, "I've got to go meet up with your brother. He and I are going to fight while we rescue Shadow"

"Fuck no bitch! You know we are about to commence with a mission operation soon. My brother's fued with you will have to wait" Luigi said.

Sonic wanted to stab Luigi in both eyes, turn him around and poke his butt with a fork. Shocker however, was listening in. He knew that whatever information he gained from here would be utterly useless and most likely bullshit. As the three idiots argued amongst each other, Shocker plotted his escape.

Sonic walked away from the situation and began smoking a cigar. "Fuck this shit man. How are we going to incorporated Mario back into the story? Most of the people who were with him are either dead or elsewhere. But I'm not supposed to know about this information, so I won't bring it up again unless he does"

God sent an angel to Sonic. The angel informed him that his DMs to God were inappropriate and needed to stop. But Sonic was terrified of the angel. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Sonic screamed. The others noticed and panicked as well. Angels were actually terrifying beings. Not that fluffy winged bullshit but Eldrich-like beings that should remain unknowable. Sonic wanted to kill himself to escape his mortal flesh and also this...this monster. Daffy pulled out a gun and shot at the angel. The bullet did nothing.

Sonic vowed to never DM God that tubgirl meme again. Or better yet, he would cease his talk with God.

"You only need to swear not to send those... pictures ever again. You may speaks with God, but you must remain polite"

Sonic howled in agony in response.

The intercom came on.

"Shut the fuck up Sonic. I can hear your dumbass screaming from the cockpit which should be impossible. But knowing your bitchass, of course you'd break reality" Tails announced.

Sonic would have made several jokes about Tails mom, how he'd drop potatoes that were dipped in honey and wrapped in leaves that were on fire in his bed and also about inflation porn. But the angel still remained a prime concern.

The angel vanished in a blinding white light causing even more panic. After which, Luigi ran and tackled Sonic. "HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO US!?" he screamed as he sent fist after fist into Sonic's jaw.

Daffy ran over to back Luigi up by kicking Sonic in the fast. Shocker was amazed at how fast these idiots would turn on each other.

The intercom came on again, but it was Willie who spoke. "We are landing shortly. Prepare to meet with the contact"

"FUCK YOU!" Sonic screamed at everyone.

The fighting had stopped. "I'm going to shove this guy into a locker or something. I'll meet up with you all shortly" Daffy said as he picked up the Shocker and walked away. Tails jet wasn't actually a jet but as small space fairing vehicle with a larger interior. He used some kind of high tech space compacter or some shit to make the inside bigger, hence the 'larger interior'. As Sonic and Daffy got to the small hangar inside the spaceship, Luigi noted something. "Tails has a tech problem. He builds way too much bullshit"

"Fuck Tails. He's a bitch" Sonic replied.

Tails overheard Sonic and slammed his head into the mini air vehicle the group was about to use. The hangar could only hold two of them and each could hold up to 6 people. Sonic screamed as he fell to the floor. Luigi and Tails took this chance to kick him while he was down.

"Get up bitch" Tails said.

"Fuck you"

Tails stepped on Sonic's face. "Bitch ass punk. I'll drop you from this height then"

Luigi slammed his fist into Tails stomach causing Tails to back off. "We need him alive, you fool!" Luigi glared at Tails.

"Fine!" Tails said.

"I'm starting to think you're going to kill Sonic after Robitnik is dealt with"

Tails didn't respond.

"ANSWER ME!" Luigi howled.

Tails turned away.

Luigi prepared to attack Tails, but Daffy showed up. "Ready when you are!" He said cheerfully. He ignored the overall mood because he didn't give a fuck. He had put on Shocker's gauntlets. "Where'd you get those?" Tails asked pointing at and touching the gauntlets. Daffy slapped the shit out of him. He slapped Sonic who just got up and finally Luigi. "Shut up bitch!" Daffy yelled.

Tails threw a punch at Daffy, but the duck ducked under it and countered with a savage uppercut. Sonic flew at Daffy but wasn't able to land his tackle. He slid on the floor, stopping in front of Daffy. Luigi, however, picked up Sonic and swung him at Daffy. Tails was caught in the crossfire.

"Fuck you Luigi!" Tails yelled.

Luigi dropped Sonic and walked over to Tails, but Daffy stopped him. "Let's go start that mission! Warm up is over!"

"Stay the fuck out of this duck" Tails yelled. Sonic began to crawl away.

Daffy used the gauntlets and fired a shockwave at Tails. Tails was knocked back. "Don't you ever tell me what to do bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"He wants to kill Sonic" Luigi announced.

"Is that so?" Daffy asked. He took a step towards Tails.

"We're going to have to settle this after Eggman is dealt with aren't we?" Daffy asked as he approached Tails. He helped the fox to his feet. "Yeah" Tails replied.

Sonic had already gotten on the air vehicle and was waiting quietly. "Good. He doesn't know" Tails said as he looked at Sonic through the window. "He knows," Daffy replied "It's just the story won't allow him to react until someone tells him. That's how you break the fourth wall... You have to already know"


	34. Act Three: chapter eleven

Chapter Eleven: Café

The group's air vehicle had landed safely on the ground. But the birds were there waiting for them. "What the fuck is this shit?" Daffy asked. One of the birds flew forward and spoke, "Shut up cunt. I'll fuck you up"

Daffy punched the bird in the face. The other birds prepared to fly higher in the sky to dive bomb them but Luigi killed them with a fireball. Sonic pulled out salt, pepper and a block of cheese to prepare the dead bodies for a meal. Realizing this, Tails grabbed Sonic's arm, but Sonic just shrugged him off.

"BITCH!" Tails shouted towards Sonic. He tackled the hedgehog and began strangling him. Luigi punched Tails in the face. "Let go bitch" he simply stated before cocking back another fist.

Tails looked at Luigi, they stared at each other for a bit before Tails resigned and released Sonic. Sonic clocked Tails in the jaw.

While this was happening, Daffy was cutting the bird who spoke to him into tiny pieces. He had brought an axe with him to kill some people if they entered a store or anywhere with a lot of people. As they finished what they were all doing, someone approached them. "What the hell is wrong with you people?"

It was Espio. "We're here to find you" Luigi said, "It's time to take down Eggman"

"What about Off-Flower?" Espio asked.

"They can wait"

"It's good to see you again Espio" Tails said.

"What's the plan?" Espio once again asked another fucking question.

"We're going to destroy one of Robotnik's spies bases" Tails began, "We believe that he has established a network that monitors this entire town and as of such is also hiding an emerald here as well"

Daffy walked over to Tails and slapped him, "Shut up bitch"

"What the fuck Daffy?" Tails shouted

"No. Daffy is right. We shouldn't talk out here in the open. What if there are spies about?" Sonic said.

"You're right" Tails nodded. He had to admit that Sonic had a keen eye. Maybe he was wrong about him.

Daffy slammed his fist into Tails stomach and ran over and slapped Sonic, "I SAID SHUT UP BITCH!"

Sonic kneed Daffy in the stomach and then slammed a fist in his jaw. Luigi flew at Sonic and began landing hit after hit to Sonic's face. Sonic screamed as Luigi pounded him into the dirt.

Espio sighed. This what the sort of team he'd have to deal with. He didn't know if they could take down a spy network.

Tails ran at Daffy, but the duck saw him coming. Daffy fired a Shockwave at Tails, who flew over it. "FUCK YOU!"

"I'm going on ahead" Espio said. Sonic looked over to Espio, "Fuck you Espio! I'll kill your entire clan in my sleep tonight!"

Espio ignored this. Such careless threats meant nothing to him. Luigi however, had picked up a trashcan and threw it at the ninja. It slammed into him and he flew onto the ground. "Fuck you bitch. I thought we were a team. Where are you going?" Luigi demanded.

"How dare you attack me?!" Espio shouted, he pulled out a few kunai. Luigi prepared a fireball and Sonic pulled out a knife.

"I can't wait to kick your ass, cunt!" Sonic yelled.

"What about the mission?" Espio with yet another question. He ignored the writer(which is me) and put away his kunai. "We shouldn't be fighting each other. We should just finish this mission"

"Yeah. You're right" Tails said.

"Fuck you Espio!" Sonic screamed.

The group entered a café called, Louis's. While Sonic attempted to get the cashier's number, everyone discussed a plan of action. "We needed this café scene. Sword Art Online is a shitty anime, but it gets the numbers. Do you know why? Café scenes. So let's fill up on those for awhile" Daffy said.

"Daffy. You can't have a fight scene in a café" Tails said.

"Spiderman 2 did it, so why can't we?"

"But what about important information scenes?" Luigi asked.

"Three words. Sword. Art. Online. I think you're underestimating the amount of shit it has" Daffy chuckled.

"Wait. Spiderman 2 didn't have a café fight scene. All that really happened was, Doctor Octopus threw a car at Spiderman. Spiderman just happened to be meeting Mary Jane at a café" Espio joined in.

"Damn. I thought there was a fight scene there. But I do know some of the standard action movies have a café fight scene and a regular one" Daffy pondered.

"All action movies have a café scene" Luigi said.

"Not all of them" Tails introjected, "I don't remember the Long Kiss Goodnight having one"

"Me either. Then again, it's been a long time since I've seen that movie" Daffy said as he took a sip of his coffee. It was a nonfat 2% milk latte. It had 3 sugars and some ginger. Tails called Daffy a bitch after hearing about the sugars. Tails had 5 sugars in his coffee.

Sonic got the manager's number. 9-1-1.

"Fuck you!" Sonic said. The manager punched Sonic in the face. Sonic pulled out a knife. The employees all pulled out tasers and tazed Sonic. Sonic screamed.

The group looked over to Sonic and then proceeded with their conversation. The reason why they weren't doing anything was because Tails just used his spy drones to gather up information. Sonic helped by coating the drones with special magical properties. It was of course Daffy who suggested they wait at Starbucks.

As Sonic got his ass kicked by the staff, the group each sipped their drinks and discussed various events. "I think Knuckles might not attack Sonic after we've dealt with Eggman" Tails said.

"What makes you say that?" Luigi asked.

"More importantly, are you still going to try to kill Sonic? You literally let it be known you wished him harm in the previous chapter" Daffy quickly added.

"I didn't say shit. Besides that, I only want to beat his ass. I'm not killing him" Tails said, "He's grown on me or something"

Luigi and Daffy eyed Tails for a bit. "Is there something going on between you guys?" Espio inquired. "Knuckles and Sonic are no longer friends. Those two will try to kill each other after this whole Eggman thing" Daffy said, "I'm not too sure what Tails is planning"

"I'm not planning anything" Tails said.

Daffy reached over and slapped the fox, "SHUT UP BITCH!" Daffy yelled. Tails got up, "I'll whoop your ass, punk"

Daffy also got up, "Fuck you! Fucking bring it!" Daffy yelled again. Luigi got up as well. "Both of you should sit... Unless you want me to break your fucking legs" Luigi pulled out a large sledgehammer.

Daffy pulled out a gun. Or was about when the waitress brought them their food. "Who the fuck ordered food?" Daffy yelled. "Fuck you bitch" Tails countered. He jabbed Daffy in the beak. Daffy jumped at Tails and the two fell to the ground.

"FUCKING SHIT!" Luigi screamed.

The waitress was terrified. Seeing this, Luigi calmed down, "Guys. Stop this" Luigi pleaded. Daffy and Tails got up, "Fine!" They both said. As they sat down, the frightened waitress put the food down. Daffy wanted to smoke a cigar but knew Luigi would attack him if he did. He looked over to the green hatted Italian man and socked him in the jaw.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Luigi howled.

"Just eat" Tails said as he took a bite from his burger. They were having burgers.

"Fuck you bitch!" Luigi said, "That black cunt attacked me!"

"Suck my balls, fucker" Daffy replied. He pretended to smoke a cigar, but it just wasn't the same. Daffy looked at Luigi, "I'm going to kick your ass for this, bitch!" Daffy yelled, waving his empty hand. His hand needed a cigar or perhaps even a boob to squeeze. Luigi responded by punching Daffy in the face, "Go jerk off in a corner or something" Luigi pointed to a corner.

"I'm going to slit your throat!" Daffy yelled yet again. He picked up his knife, Luigi got up. "I'll fuck you up" Luigi said.

"Shut the fuck up you two" Tails yelled, he took a bite from his burger. Luigi sat down and finally took a bite of his burger. The person who ordered the food made sure to ask for exactly 14 pieces of bacon on each burger. The burger also had three types of cheese, lettuce, sliced tomatoes, cut onions, pickles and two flame boiled 200% beef patties. They killed the cow twice to make this Burger. Luigi was amazed at how this burger tasted. So amazed that he decided to continue the goddamn plot. He looked over to Espio, who was eating fries. "Any news about Off-Flower?"

"I asked an old contact for help" Espio replied.

"Is it Rotor?" Tails asked

Sonic walked over to Tails and slammed the Fox's head onto the table. "It was me who ordered the burgers!" Sonic announced. He quickly bowed and added a "You're welcome sluts!" before walking off. "FUCK YOU SONIC!" Daffy yelled. He got up and ran to tackle Sonic.

Tails got up as well.

"Sit down cunt" Luigi said. "Fuck you bitch" Tails said facing Luigi, "I should fuck you up right now"

Luigi took another bite from his burger. After the bite, Luigi looked Tails in the eye, "I'll eat your Burger"

"Damn..." Tails submitted and sat back down. He continued to eat. Daffy also returned to his seat after hearing Luigi's threat. He assumed the green Italian man's threat was for all whom dared cross him. Not wanting to lose his Burger, Daffy continued his meal. His fight with Sonic would have to wait.

Seeing that the craziness had once again settled, Espio spoke up, "It was Rotor. I'm assuming he's going to call for Antoine"

"That guy? He's good" Tails wanted to order more fries. But he knew Sonic would rush over to steal them. Tails silently pulled out his glock. Luigi saw this and pulled out a 45. that he placed on the table. "What is this?" Daffy asked. He whistled for a waitress to come hither and receive his command.

"Seriously guys?" Espio asked once more with his questions. It seemed like he'd ask endless questions. Kinda like a bear who would gather berries from the great tree. The great tree use to reside in the middle of the forest, right next the biggest tree ever. It was cut down which caused the bear to look for an actual job. He applied for McDonald's and was hired on the spot. Later that day, he was fired due to attacking a customer with a knife he bought with money he stole from the cash register during lunch.

"You're right Espio. It's time we officially start this mission!" Daffy said. He got up and looked upon the group sans Sonic. "We strike at midnight"

"What exactly are you planning?" Tails asked.

"We're going to find answers the rogue way" Daffy put some dark shades on.

"And what way is that?" Espio asked.

"We're going to torture people" Daffy laughed.

"Fine by me" Tails and Luigi said.

"This will lead to trouble" Espio began, "But so be it"

"Damn straight! We do this shit bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DUCK!" Sonic screamed as he ordered 5 milkshakes for himself.


	35. Act Three: chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve: Mario Returns

Knuckles knew that the time to act would be soon. He pulled out his phone and dialed up a number. Mario picked up the phone after one ring. "What do you want bitch?"

"Relax. It's me. Knuckles"

"Fuck you Knuckles. Fuck everyone. I'll come kick your ass"

"What's your fucking problem?"

"No one came to save me! I had to save myself"

"I didn't know you were captured"

"Fuck you. I'm half way there, prepare for an ass whooping!"

"FUCK YOU" Knuckles screamed. He threw his phone at the wall, breaking it. "What happened?" Vector asked. "Get ready" Knuckles commanded.

"Sweet! Action is coming!" Ryan yelled.

Knuckles walked to his bedroom. He took off his gloves upon entering and walked over to a black dresser. Inside it were special black spiked gloves. "Fucking Italian pizza bastard bitch..."

There was a knock on the door. "Enter"

It was Mighty. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Mario is coming to attack. But I believe these birds will attack him while he attacks us"

Mighty laughed at Knuckles.

Knuckles turned and glared at Mighty, "Laugh all you want. There will be a fight. Go get ready"

Mighty nodded and left.

To Mario,

Mario wanted to go alone. His servants didn't like that. They also didn't like that he was essentially going to attack his allies yet again. There were far larger and actual enemies that needed to be dealt with. Dr. Robtonik, Yogi Bear, Off-Flower, and perhaps even Bowser. But Mario was undeterred.

Five of his maids gathered together. "We are prepared to follow you anywhere"

Mario nodded at his maids. The six of them, along with the Butler and the Driver soon after left the mansion. Outside they discovered the amount of damage the birds were causing to the city. The swarms were like dark clouds assaulting the ground below with the fury of nature itself. A blade in a claw and a sharp beak was all these winged beats needed.

"Master Mario, might I remind of the blue hedgehog's earlier challenge?" the Butler asked.

Mario pondered this as his group's vehicle ventured into the city. Knuckles house was located on the other side of the city. Mario figured he'd just drive through it, as he saw going around would be a waste of his time. "Sonic can wait. His bullshit revealed that Tails has been found. It's time for action. I'm going to get to Knuckles and we are going to attack that Eggman guy"

"I see. So you aren't going to fight the red Echidna?"

"No. That's just how we talk to each other"

A few birds landed on the roof of the limo. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Mario screamed.

A bird leaned over and looked through the window, "Shut up bitch"

Mario rolled down the window and killed the bird with a fireball. "What the fuck is this shit? Pull us over!" Mario ordered.

The Driver quickly pulled over into a KFC. "Fuuuuuuuck" Mario grumbled. Now the birds were going to be extra crispy pissed the fuck off. Mario and one of his maids who was called Amy, hopped out of the car.

"The fuck you want bitch?" A bird called out to Mario.

"Fuck off my car cunt" Mario threatened as he pulled out a pocket knife. The birds didn't have any pockets. There were six of them, although two of them killed themselves due to lack of pockets. "Shit man..." One bird spoke up, "You got us there motherfucker"

Mario spat on the ground. Amy revealed her weapon, a large double bladed Axe. Everyone whistled, "That's a beauty. I want that to kill me right now!" A foolish bird said as it flew over to its death. Amy cut the bird right in half. "Fuck you bitch!" The bird squad leader said.

Just then, a cloud of birds became apparent that it had floated to the point above the action that was now. The action which was now was the action in which Mario himself participated in currently. "Holy shit!" Mario and the bird squad leader yelled. The bird's two companions killed themselves in an attempt to escape this nightmarish reality that we call life. They had forgotten that the bird cloud was on their side. Mario offered the bird squad leader, whom I'll call BSL, a ciggerate. "Uh... Thanks" BSL said. He lit it and took a long puff. "Fuck, this shit feels good" even though poison murder clouds would soon greet his lungs. Do birds have lungs or do they absorb energy from the sun liked I do? It was unclear forever.

To Sonic,

Sonic wanted to go to the cinemas and strangle the movie goers. Daffy knew about this and punched Sonic in the stomach. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" Daffy screamed in Sonic's ear. Sonic screamed louder, slammed his fist in Daffy's face and passed out.

While this happened, Tails and Luigi were in an alley. While Tails was keeping an eye out for trouble, Luigi snorted sugar pixie dust. Upon realizing he didn't like it, he began setting's boxes on fire. "Fuck this shit, man!" Luigi yelled.

"Dude..." Tails began.

Luigi walked over to speak to Tails only to discover... God had descended on to the earth. "Behold for it is I" God announced.

"Fuck you Bitch" Tails said as he was a scientist.

God ignored the insult. Tails pulled out a knife.

"Wait... Where's Espio?" Luigi asked. But no one responded.


	36. Act Three: chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: Shadow's escape

Shadow's boys wanted him out of the place he was currently breathing and existing in. And they wanted him now. One of the boys called up Sonic.

"Who the fuck is this?" Sonic demanded to know

"Fuck you bitch. Where's Shadow?"

"Fuck Shadow and fuck dead Rouge" Sonic yelled.

On the other end, Daffy punched Sonic in the stomach.

"Fine... I've got nothing going on until midnight. Where are you?" Sonic asked.

To God,

I, your God, have interrupted the story to inform the readers that the writer is a fool. Thou shalt fall before Me and pronounce himself defeated. All who dare test the might of God the Almighty shall be vanquished.

So says I!

To Shadow,

Shadow wanted a gun to be in his pocket. He saw that the bagman was back. As the bagman walked into view, Shadow noted bagman was called bagman due to the bag on his head and not because he was a bitch like Shadow first assumed.

Shadow really wanted a cigar. He could just breakout of his imprisonment, but the government would find out and fuck him. He didn't like the government nor did he like the Anti-government, terrorist or wearing slacks on Wednesdays.

"Fuck this shit" Shadow muttered to himself.

He decided to stare at the bagman while masterubating ferociously but realized the bagman was pointing at him. "What the fuck" Shadow muttered yet again.

The birds had returned.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

"Listen, we're here to make a deal with you" a bird said. It climbed into the cell. "I'm listening" Shadow replied as he folded his arms in all his edgy glory. Linkin Park "In the end" starts playing as the camera repeatedly zooms in and out of Shadow's face. But this happened in black and white, Shadow's eyes are glowing red and an angry face emoji rests in the bottom two corners of the screen. There's a tagline:

\- " **Where are those DAMN Chaos Emeralds?** "-

"What the fuck is this shit?" The bird asked.

An eye brow on Shadow's face rose a bit.

"Never mind" the bird continued, "Listen, I need you to kill the mayor"

"Fuck you bitch" Shadow responded, "I'll kill you, shove your corpse up my ass and shit you out tomorrow"

"Fuck this guy. We can kill the mayor ourselves!" An outside bird said. The bird inside pulled out a gun and killed the disrespectful little bitch ass motherfucking cunt ass bird traitorous scumbag fuck face ass bitch. They could not kill the mayor, only Shadow could. The bird higher ups wanted this. Even if they tried to assassinate each other, they knew the power Shadow had.

"Do it Shadow and you'll be free" the bird urged, "Do it for I am Nazuun. I have only said my name because the writer wanted a clear difference between me and the other birds. No other reason"

"Fine. I'll do it" Shadow said.

"No you won't" Smoky the bear chimed in.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow yelled, "If I had my phone I'd call my boys on you"

"But you don't! I do" Smoky yelled triumphantly.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Shadow screamed, "Don't call my boys on me..." Shadow had at this point fallen to the ground, defeated.

"That's right bitch!" Smoky walked over to the cell, unlocked it and went in to slap Shadow.

"I'll kill you!" Nazuun yelled. He fired his gun at Smoky. But the bear was too quick and dodged that shit. He snapped Nazuun's neck.

"No!" The birds outside all cried and flew away. Shadow knew they'd be back.

To Tails,

Tails called Daffy's secret girlfriend. She went back to being unnamed because I'm too lazy to go back and check to see if I named her yet. Don't worry as I'll remove this part in the editing process of writing this story chapter as I have that power.

"My name is Lena" Daffy's secret girlfriend explained to the writer.

Fuck you bitch. Anyway, Tails called Lena in an attempt to sell her things so he could have pocket money for snacks.

"Do you want to buy some stuff from a real scientist?" Tails asked.

"No thanks. Who gave you this number?" Lena asked

"God" Tails said.

"What?"

"Fine. God's a bitch anyway. I got the number from Daffy. I took his phone to try to scam people from China but decided to go through his contacts. I saw your number and decided to memorize it and call you"

"Well... I'll just have to talk to that boyfriend of mine"

"Fuck that bitch ass punk! I'll whoop his ass"

Tails hung up. He turned back to Luigi and... God.

"Fuck you bitch!" Tails yelled at God.

To Sonic,

Sonic had used the Chaos Emerald he stole from Mr. Gold to teleport him and Daffy to the park. There they met up with Shadow's boys. "We're here" Sonic yelled.

One of Shadow's boy, someone calling himself S-Dog, punched Sonic in the face.

Daffy jumped back and yelled "I knew this was a trap!"

"Fuck you bitch!" Boy Dark yelled. Another of Shadow's boys, "I'll fuck you up"

Boy Dark pulled out a knife, Daffy pulled out a grenade. "I'll kill everyone here!"

"Do it Daffy!" Sonic cried out as he dodged a blow from S-Dog. "Fuck you bitch! We want our boss back" S-Dog said.

"Why are you attacking us?" Daffy asked.

"Not sure. But we have to rap right now!" Dogz Breath said.

"Shut up Dogz Breath" S-Dog whispered into the ground.

"What the fuck is this shit? Let's just go get Shadow...NOW!" Sonic yelled. Everyone agreed and nodded ferociously. One of the boys pulled out a gun and fired it in the air. A nearby park ranger heard and went to investigate. "What's going on here?" He asked.

Daffy disappeared into the shadows just as Boy Dark pulled out a dagger and flung it at the ranger. The ranger's neck was impaled by the dagger and he fell to the floor to bleed out. Sonic walked over to the body with a drawn gun and shot the dying man in the head. "Bitch" Sonic said.

He looked back at Shadow's boys, "Alright people! Let's get the fucking move on and save Shadow!" Sonic yelled.

There were 79 people gathered for this assault on the park. S-Dog and Boy Dark were top people in Shadow's gang of people with fucking ridiculously stupid names. "Fuck you bitch!" S-Dog said as he got into Sonic's face, "I'll fucking slam your head into that tree over there" he pointed at a purple tree. The tree dropped red bananas and green apples sweeter than the sweetest of all candies.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! I AM YOUR MESSIAH SENT TO SAVE YOUR LEADER!" Sonic shouted. He slapped S-Dog and ran over to Boy Dark and slapped him too.

"Bitch ass punk..." Boy Dark said while wiping his face with both hands to appear weaken when in reality he was enraged. He wanted Sonic to die but couldn't confront him until after Shadow was rescued.

Sonic pulled out a couple of wine bottles from a pocket dimensional rift in the reality. He drank a full one to himself before a couple of the boys took them by force. "YOU BASTARDS!" Sonic shouted.

To Daffy,

Daffy had arrived at the park ranger's office. Inside was Ranger Smith from Jellystone park. "What the fuck are you doing here bitch?" Daffy yelled. The park office went quiet. "Why are you here Daffy?" Ranger Smith asked.

"Fuck you bitch!"

Ranger Smith sighed. "Look, whatever it is... Just leave"

"No! You can't make me! His boys are on their way right this moment! They are clearing the pass as we speak!" Daffy yelled.

"Who's boys?" a random ranger asked.

"SHADOW'S!" Daffy waved his armed around frantically, "SHADOW THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG"

Ranger Smith looked around the office, "You're keeping Shadow the hedgehog locked up here at the park knowing full well he's a leader of a gang that's more than willing to burn everything down to free him?"

No one answered that question.

"I've got to start looking for a new job. Everything is going to shit. First Yogi and now this..."

"What are we going to do about Shadow's boys?" Another ranger asked.

"Who captured Shadow the first time?"

"Smoky the bear and his elf group. There were a total of 20 or so members. We have here currently a staff of 15. But it was that duck over there who knocked Shadow out" a ranger explained.

"Smoky?!" Ranger Smith blurted out. "Goddamnit..." He face palmed and turned to face Daffy, "Is it just his 'boys' or are there more people?"

"Sonic's with them and he's got a Chaos Emerald with him" Daffy explained.

"I guess we have no choice but to go on the defensive" Ranger Smith said.

"Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled. He ran and punched Ranger Smith in the face.

To Shadow,

The bagman was still there... Watching.

"Who the fuck are you?" Smoky asked.

Bagman said nothing.

Smoky walked over to the cell window. Shadow would have taken this chance to attack the bear, but curiosity won him over. "Who is that man?" Shadow asked.

"I'm not sure. This is the first to!e I've ever seen him"

"Well he's shown up at my cell windows a few times. I thought he might of been an enemy to the park"

"Perhaps... We'll ignore him for now. Although I'm surprised you haven't attempted to escape nor have you attacked me"

Shadow folded his arms, "It's because my boys are on their way here. I can feel it in my balls. Go check with your staff. My boys are coming for me"

Smoky rubbed his chin. After locking Shadow's cell, he left without a word.

"Bitch" Shadow said

Shadow turned to the bagman. "Who the fuck are you?"

Bagman still said nothing.

Shadow stared as the bagman picked up a piece of cheese and began ripping off chunks of it. Shadow didn't have any crackers, Ham or butter to help with the process that the bagman was going through. What was he going to do? Nothing.

To Sonic,

Sonic and the boys slowly crept up on the ranger's office rather quickly. They were surprised that they were able to get to the place so fast. But outside the office were the elves and Smoky the bear. Beside him were a few rangers, Daffy and possibly Lena and Ranger Smith.

"You're late!" Smoky announced.

"Fuck yuou bitch" Sonic said, "You know why we're here"

"You're not going to win this time Sonic" Daffy said as he walked to stand beside Smoky, along with Ranger Smith and Lena.

"I'll fuck you up bitch!" Sonic yelled.

S-Dog pushed Sonic out of the way, "Fuck this shit. We're here to free our boss and kill everyone here!"

"I'll strangle your parents and your grandparents!" Daffy yelled.

"Shut the fuck up duck. I can't wait to fuck your dead corpse!" Dogz Breath yelled as he slapped his groin.

"Look. We can just give you him. We'll give you Shadow if you promise to leave!" Ranger Smith pleaded. Smoky walked over to Ranger Smith and punched him in the face.

Smith took a step back. "BASTARD! You will be reported!"

"Shut the fuck up Smith. The hedgehog stays locked here!" Smoky yelled, he turned to address his small army, "Let's kill these fools!"

Lena pulled Smith and Daffy away from Smoky, "We gotta go!"

"Where you going Duck!" Dogs Breath yelled. He began to charge forward. Seeing this, Smoky's force surged forward. Shadow's boys also charged and the battle began.

Sonic flew at Smoky yelling, "I'll fuck you up bitch!"

Lena managed to get Ranger Smith safely inside the office building. Daffy had begun his fight with Dogz Breath.

Shadow's boys were quickly overtaking the elves and rangers. S-Dog beheaded an elf with a saw blade. He began to rub the decapitated head against his butt.

Sonic's fight with Smoky was going bad. As Sonic barely dodged a fierce punch. "Shit... How strong are you?" Sonic asked. "I'm far above you. Fast" Smoky laughed. He floated into the sky as his muscles grew bigger. His shirt exploded into a thousand pieces of dirt. "BEHOLD MY POWER AS A BARBONE" Smoky announced.

Sonic noted that he could not possibly stand up to such power, even if he had 3 Emeralds. He only had 1 and Tails had the other 3.

"Damnit!" Sonic yelled.

Dogz Breath tackled Daffy and began to bite him. With his arms pinned, he had only one thing he could do.

To die.

But with Smoky's strange transformation, Dogz Breath was momentarily distracted. This gave Daffy the chance to free a arm, pull out his gun and kill the fool who dared to bite him. "Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled as he shot and killed Dogz Breath. Now I don't have to write this stupid name anymore.

Sonic stared up at Smoky and his vast power. S-Dog ran and slapped Sonic like a bitch. "Fuck you punk! Now we gonna die!"

Sonic slammed his fist into S-Dog's stomach. "Shut up bitch!"

The two then turned to Smoky who was still powering up. Shadow's boys had by then taken out the rangers and elves but suffered heavy causalities. 29 people from the gang died. This included Dogz Breath.

Smoky had noted this and hovered his hand in the direction of Boy Dark. "Oh no..." Boy Dark whispered as his head exploded. "Shit..." Sonic said.

Daffy knew his group had won. Soon Sonic and Shadow's boys would be dead. But this would not be a good thing. Daffy took a step forward to drastically change sides yet again. He knew his secret girlfriend would approve as Smoky got the rangers from this park all killed. He looked over to Sonic and called out, "Sonic! Burn down the forest!"

Sonic looked over to Daffy, pulled out a lighter and nodded.

As Sonic ran into the forest, Smoky flew at Daffy and began to strangle him. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS DUCK!"

S-Dog and Shadow's boys all charged at Smoky. Some fired guns at Smoky, but the bullets bounced off him. Smoky threw Daffy at S-Dog as he began to contend with the remaining fools.

S-Dog pushed Daffy off of him. "Don't worry double agent, our drop planes will drop fire bombs on the forest. We'll kill the nature with our power!"

Shadow's boys numbered in the low thousands. 3 thousand to be exact. Being connected to the government, he was given certain special gifts and his own land. Technically, Smoky was breaking the law by keeping Shadow prisoner.

Soon the sounds of planes filled the air. 20 planes in total dropped sixteen bombs each that covered the area with fire. "YOU!" Smoky yelled.

Smoky flew up and destroyed half of them.

Sonic came back to the scene as he didn't want to fucking die. "How are we going to kill him?"

Lena and Ranger Smith exited the park office with Shadow and bagman. They entered the conversation, "We don't. Let's get the fuck out of here!" Shadow yelled.

Sonic revealed his Chaos Emerald. The remaining boys, Lena, Smith, Daffy, bagman and Shadow all bunched together allowing Sonic to teleport them away. Just as this happened, the remaining planes crashed into Smoky and the office which thus distracted him long enough to allow an escape to happen.


	37. Act Three: chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen: Eggman cometh

A cloud of birds hovered above Mario and his group. Some sentry birds flew into view. "Fuck you fat plumber!" A sentry said.

"What the fuck bitch? How did you know I was a plumber?"

A super Mario Bros game was thrown at Mario, he caught it and looked. He broke the game in half. "Fuck this game" Mario pulled out Mario Bros Super Jumper Saga and tossed that shit up high. A sentry quickly flew and caught it. It plugged the game to its device.

"I'll try it out" the sentry said as it flew away.

DSL watched as he knew the bird cloud would strike. Mario prepared to charge up his fireball to kill the cloud. A sentry shot a ball of energy at Mario, causing the plumber to waste his fireball for defense. A maid named Alex pulled out twin pistols and fired upon the bird cloud, the butler used dark magic to shoot a beam of darkness from his palm at the sentries in a sweeping motion. A few of the sentries failed to put up magical shields in time and died as a result. A few birds from the cloud fell dead, the lifeless bodies falling on the streets below. Another maid named Angela fired arrows at the cloud. The sentries have had enough and began their attack.

The butler summoned skeleton warriors to help battle the sentries. Amy led the last two maids for ground combat. She would suggest that boots on the ground is the best way to go.

The dive bombing sentries devastated most of the skeleton warriors as they were lesser beings. But the Butler knew this would happen. He took this opportunity to summon a death ball inside of the bird cloud. All the birds in the center died instantly which forced the outer birds to break apart.

"Bastards!" A sentry yelled.

Mario shot and killed the bird who spoke. He also shot a bystander who was fleeing from another sentry bird. As the innocent bystander was stabbed to death by the sentry, Mario looked on with approval before deciding to finish off the anticlimactic mini boss known only as "The Bird Cloud". The plumber fired a series of consecutive fireballs at the fleeing birds and eradicated them from the earth. None shall flee this battle. Nine.

As the sentry slit the bystander's throat, Mario gave a cheer, " KILL ALL! "

Amy and the two other maids nodded and began attacking any fleeing citizens. After finishing off the other sentries, he once again summoned skeleton warriors. But this time they were stronger. They began to attack the city.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and his group were ready. As they piled into the van and left the garage, Knuckles noticed something. High in the sky were many many bird clouds. They had increased their numbers by 300%.

"Oh shit!" Knuckles yelled.

Ryan pokes his head out of the window, "what is it?"

Ryan sees what happened. The birds were gaining in numbers. "Kill... Can you do something about this? Can you kill half?" Ryan asked.

Kill leaves the van and thusly caused the death of 15 MegaClouds. Knuckles also left the van to witness the results. As countless bird corpses fall to the ground, Knuckles has become very aware of the mistake that was made.

"WE GOT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Knuckles screamed as he rushed to his van. Kill just teleported them all, including the van, to a different area.

But it was in the sky... So they fell.

To Mario,

As the skeleton warriors, the Butler, Amy and the two other maids attacked literally everything, Angela decided to enact her secret plan. She entered the KFC with Mario and the Driver. They looked around before discovering that Yogi there. But they completely ignored that fact. Mario ordered 25 buckets of fried chicken. Mixing both original and extra crispy chicken. With the tubs of chicken came macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, coleslaw and corn. Biscuits as well.

Yogi was eyeing them the whole time they were there, but he said nothing. Angela noted the bear being there but said nothing also. The secret turned out to be that there wasn't one.

As Mario rubbed his hands together, Yogi approached him. "Hey hey hey, what's in that picnic basket?" the bear asked.

Mario flipped off the bird. Yogi didn't like this and grabbed Mario, "Listen here! I'll kill you!" Yogi yelled. Yogi pulled out a cigar and smacked Mario across the face with it. "What the fuck bitch?" Mario yelled.

Angela threw throwing knives that impaled into Yogi's back. Noting that, Yogi threw Mario, pulled out a Chaos Emerald and teleported out of there.

"Who the fuck?" Mario shouted as the Driver helped him up.

KFC gave Mario a free bucket of popcorn chicken to make up for the attack. "He just showed up one day" an employee said about the demented bear.

"Fucking shit" Mario said.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles group had been teleported to the middle of the city. There skeleton warriors and 3 of Mario's maids were killing many birds and people. One maid was throwing energy pspears at a few bird clouds. The clouds were firing back with razor sharp feathers, but it was being repelled by another maid using a katana.

"What the fuck?" Ryan yelled.

The Butler notices the group and walks over to greet them but stops when he sees Kill. Knuckles, Vector and Mighty go and greet the Butler, but he's unresponsive.

"Who has done this?" the Butler asks Knuckles.

"Who? Kill? I think he said Sonic summoned him" Knuckles explained.

The Butler glares at Knuckles, "Then he must be dealt with"

Knuckles glares back and nods, "After Eggman"

"After Eggman" the Butler repeats.

To Sonic,

Sonic senses a disturbance in the universe. He knew he would soon have to gather a new group of dark followers.

Soon...

To Mario,

Mario exited the KFC with the food along with Angela and the Driver. He noticed that Knuckles was here with his group. Knuckles spotted Mario as well and called out for him, "Mario!"

Mario and his two companions made it over to the spike fisted fighter, "About time bitch"

"I knew the birds were going to attack you so I decided to come help"

"Fuck your help... Wait! Is that Ryan? I saw that bitchass punk Count Mack not too long ago"

"Who? Wait... Was that guy from that time when Sonic made that stupid watch group that failed immediately after being made?" Knuckles asked.

Mario nodded, "Yes, but it didn't fail right away. Although we were more like a local militia than a neighborhood watch group"

Mighty joined the conversation, "Kill and that Butler guy caused the birds in this area to flee"

Knuckles smiled, "Good. Then maybe we'll be able to attack Eggman after all. I don't want to waste my time with this bird bullshit"

Ryan ran over and slapped Knuckles, "Fuck you bitch!"

Mario quickly punched Ryan in the face. Ryan punched Mario back with equal fury.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Knuckles roared, he also punched Ryan in the face. Ryan fell back. "Fucking piece of filthy!" Mario yelled, he picked up Ryan and threw him. Ryan's body collided with Vector.

"Hey!" Vector yelled. "Fuck you bitch!" Mario replied.

Ryan quickly got up and prepared to charge at Mario and Knuckles. "I'll fuck you up" Ryan yelled.

Mario threw fireballs at Ryan, who was thus dodging them. Knuckles had had enough, he ran at Ryan and tackled him. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Knuckles yelled.

Ryan spat in Knuckles face and was rewarded with a fist to the face. "Knock it the fuck off or else" Knuckles threatened. "Suck my dick, slut" Ryan responded.

Before Knuckles could punch Ryan again, a loud noise was heard. In the sky was the Death Egg!

"Shit..." Knuckles said.

Ryan head-butted Knuckles and escaped.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Knuckles screamed.

"We'll get his bitch ass later... For now..." Mario began as he walked over to Knuckles side. The two of them looked up at the large egg shaped mustached floating base. It seemed as though many small objects were being set lose from the base.

"We better leave this area and fast!" Mighty yelled. He was looking through binoculars.

"Why? What's going on?" Vector asked.

"Eggman is sending out some jet fighters..." Mighty reported.

But as soon as he said that, large ships had flown up next to the larger Death Egg base and began open firing upon the city. Bird clouds also began to swarm near the ships.

"SHIT! KILL! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Knuckles yelled.

Kill teleported Knuckles and Mario's groups to Kill's house, along with the van, limo and food Mario had bought from KFC.

"Shit..." Mario said, "Fucking shit!"

"This is bad... What are we going to do now?" Vector asked.

"I... Don't know" Knuckles said.

"Are the birds being controlled by Eggman?" Mighty asked.

To the birds,

Robotnik's fighter jets and Armada were shooting down the bird clouds at a really fast speed. Robotnik knew they would be an distraction he did not need.

As the remaining bird army began to flee, the bird leaders decided to kill themselves by drinking poison. All except for one...DSL.

To Knuckles,

Kill spokes up, "No. Eggman is killing them as we speak"

Mabel opened the front door, seeing as her new husband, a group of strange individuals, a van, a limo and a few tubs of KFC appeared on her driveway. "What's... Going on?" Mabel asked.

"Worry not. I have returned" Kill greeted as it floated to Mabel.

"Uuuh what the fuck is going on?" Mighty asked.

"I guess Kill got married" Knuckles replied.

"These are my friends and I have invited them over to hide from our enemies as we plot"

Kill explained. "More enemies? How many do you have?" Mabel asked. Kill had to think about it, yet was unable to answer. It simply replied with "undetermined" The Butler was staring at Kill.

Mabel and Kill soon invited Knuckles and Mario's group inside the house.

To Ryan,

Ryan had managed to get to the sewers just as a bomber plane dropped its payload unto the streets below. Goddamn this city. Ryan knew he'd have to be quick in order to escape Eggman's wrath if he ever wanted to survive. He also had to report to his leaders about what was going on. Off-Flower had always had a way of monitoring its enemies.


	38. Act Three: chapter fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: Shocking Surprise

Espio had contacted Antoine and the two had successfully infiltrated what they assumed was a Eggman Spy network stronghold. Or rather, the 'Eggworks'. As the two made their way deeper into the facility, Espio received a message from Sonic,

"Espio. We have successfully rescued Shadow from the park. Although we may have a powerful enemy coming our way. We might be able to use him to our advantage should we get cornered tonight - - Sonic"

"Hmm... He might be smarter than I originally thought" Espio said to himself, "Who?" Antoine questioned, "No one" Espio smirked in response.

To Sonic,

Sonic and the group were teleported to in front of the diner. Overall, 27 of Shadow's boys were alive. But that was a drop in the bucket. There were still over 2 thousand members left.

"Holy shit! We survived!" Sonic cheered.

"Fuck that place!" Shadow shouted.

The bagman said nothing and quietly made his exit.

"What do we do now?" Daffy asked.

"I'm suppose to arrest you all for breaking the law and for being terrorists. But I'll let it slide since I want to live" Ranger Smith said.

"Fuck you bitch" Sonic said.

"Lena, are you going to come with me to Jellystone?" Ranger Smith asked.

"I'll catch up later. I want to spend some time here with my crazy boyfriend" Lena explained. She was holding hands with Daffy. Ranger Smith nodded and walked off. "Now that I'm free, I can take my revenge on Yogi" Shadow announced.

"Fuck Yogi and fuck dead Goofy" Sonic said.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GOOFY!" Shadow shouted in Sonic's face. Sonic slapped Shadow like a bitch. "Shut the fuck up" Sonic said. S-Dog punched Sonic in the stomach, "Suck my boss's balls, cunt!"

"Fucking bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"Fuck you duck!" S-dog yelled. He pulled out a knife.

Tails walked over with Luigi, both of them had shotguns, "This shit is over" Tails announced.

"Tails!" Shadow shouted, "Let me slap you in the face with my dick, you fucking whore!"

"The fuck you say?" Tails asked.

"Good to see you two" Shadow surprisingly said.

"Uh... Thanks" Luigi said.

"How did it happen? How did you get out?" Tails asked.

"Birds" Shadow said.

The group had decided to cancel the mission until Sonic spoke up, "Eggman is attacking our city"

"Oh shit. Sonic! What about your roommate?" Daffy yelled.

"She's visiting her parents out of state" Sonic shrugged.

"Wow... Anticlimactic" Shadow said.

"Fuck you bitch" Sonic glared at Shadow as he crossed his arms.

To Espio,

Espio and Antoine had entered a computer room. Inside they quickly activated a PC and hacked their way online only to discover that there was no Eggworks. It wasn't a trap, more or less a means to waste the time of any pursuers. "Damnit!" Espio said as he slammed his hands on the keyboard. "Hmmm... It appears zat our friends are in quite ze bind" Antoine said. He pointed at a surveillance feed of Sonic and the group.

"I don't understand..." Espio replied.

The view switched to another feed showing a white duck and several robotic fighters on the way towards Sonic.

"Shit! We better get back!" Espio said.

"Agreed" Antoine replied.

To Sonic,

"You're a bitch!" Sonic yelled at Shadow, but S-dog had stood in the way. "Fuck off, cunt!" S-dog said.

Sonic slammed a fist into S-dog's face. Shadow tackled Sonic and began beating him senselessly. Daffy ran over and kicked Shadow in the face. S-dog pulled out a bat and slammed that shit against the side of Daffy's head. Lena pulled out a tazer and tazed the shit out of S-dog.

"Fuck you bitch!" S-dog yelled as he swung at Lena via bat. While Lena dodged the swings, another of Shadow's boys kicked her in the back. Daffy flew at that boy and landed a solid blow to the face. Tails fired a shot in the air and the fighting stopped.

"The fuck you want bitch?" Sonic and Shadow yelled as they both helped each other up.

"We're on a deadline here!" Tails yelled back.

"Let me guess... You want my boys to man your ship?" Shadow asked.

"Uh I didn't mean that-" Tails was interrupted.

"Yeah, we'll do it" S-dog said.

"Fine by me" Daffy said.

Lena agreed as well. She was used to all the infighting that Daffy's group of friends were subjected to. He'd talk about these events all the time.

Sonic nodded as well. He agreed with it but didn't care. He just wanted to jack off to pictures of the black plague. He enjoyed to pleasure himself to pictures depicting the cruel and inhuman acts the plague doctors would disguise as medical practices upon dying victims. He wish he could hear their screams. The decaying flesh and the beggars. Oh how they would be born just to die in a puddle of shit. Those lesser beings, Sonic wished he could stab repeatedly at such lower lifeforms. None of them deserved to be alive. Not in Sonic's world. He was glad that the plague would wipe their kind from the face of the earth. Sonic also thought about how cool it'd be to fuck with the Gods by giving gold to some of these beggars. Not the cheap one chopper coin or two but rather 2 thousand gold coins. Get them rich to piss in the face of the Nobles.

Rags to riches, bitch.

Sonic began to rub his belly but Luigi slapped the shit out of him. "Wake up to reality!" Luigi said.

"Fuck you meatball!" Sonic yelled.

Luigi let that comment slide.

"Sonic, are you going to let your whore talk to you that way?" Shadow said directly in Sonic's face. Sonic just slapped him again.

"What did you call me bitch?" Luigi yelled. "I'll fuck you up green guy!" Shadow yelled back.

Shadow stopped and sniffed the air. "Is someone smoking a cigar?"

He frantically looked around but was interrupted.

Sonic and Luigi took turns slapping Shadow. S-dog tackled Sonic, "FUCKING SCUM!" He yelled as he landed punch after punch on Sonic. Luigi kicked S-dog in the face but was soon tackled by another one of Shadow's boys.

Daffy ran at Shadow but was tackled by more of Shadow's boys.

"Where is it?" Shadow asked.

He continued to look around.

"WHERE IS THAT CIGAR!?" Shadow screamed.

Donald Duck walked into view leading a robotic army whilst smoking a cigar. He made eye contact with Shadow, "Shut the fuck up bitch"

"Who the fuck...?" Shadow began but was cut off by a familiar voice.

"You better listen to him bitch. I'll whoop your ass" Goofy said.

"GOOFY!?" Luigi, Tails and Daffy all yelled.

"Fuck you Goofy! I'll fucking make sure you die this time!" Sonic yelled.

Goofy gave Sonic the finger.


	39. Act Three: chapter sixteen

Chapter Sixteen: Dark Victory

Donald looked at Sonic, "Is that how you talk to your friends?"

"FUCK YOU!" Sonic screamed, "I'll rip your throat out and wrap it around my dick!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Goofy asked, "Aren't you at all curious how I'm still alive?"

Sonic took the tiny pebbles that were in his shoe and threw them at Goofy. While they didn't do any damage to Goofy, it was the thought that counted. A big fuck you. Goofy sighed before walking over to Sonic.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BITCH?" Sonic asked as he jumped back from an advancing Goofy. Goofy rushed forward and slammed his fist into Sonic's jaw. Sonic tried to swing at Goofy but his attack was blocked by Donald. Donald shoved his cigar into Sonic's eye causing the blue hedgehog to scream in pain. Shadow tackled Sonic and removed the cigar. He attempted to smoke said cigar but kicked Sonic in the face when it wouldn't light.

"Fuck you Sonic!" Shadow yelled.

"Shadow! No!" Tails yelled.

S-dog ran at Tails and slapped him, "Shut up bitch"

Luigi and Daffy ran at Goofy to attack, S-dog attempted to strangle Tails but was hit in the face by the butt of Tails rifle. "The fuck is wrong with you?" Tails asked.

"Your allies are cunts" Donald said. Daffy paused, but Luigi performed a large backflip so he could restart his charge towards Goofy. Daffy turned towards the other duck.

"Shut the fuck up Sailor bitch. Go eat a bag of sea cocks" Daffy said.

Donald eyed Daffy closely. "Say that to my face, you burnt slut!" Donald replied. Daffy took a step towards Donald.

"Fuck you bitch. I'll rub cocaine all over your body, set your feathers on fire and feed you to the Yoga teachers and vegans for Thanksgiving" Shadow shouted, patting Daffy on the back. The two nodded at each other.

"What? That doesn't make any sense. Why are you doing this?" Sonic asked as he rubbed his eye. Sonic pulled out a potion and drank it really fast. "Fuck this shit man"

"Oh yeah? Well you'll love this one you fucking edgelord. I'll shove baby powder up your ass, I'll shove a diaper down your throat, then I'll make the baby cry by punching you in the gut" Goofy countered.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow yelled.

One of Shadow's boys spoke up, "He'll call us on you, bitch!"

Luigi halted his really long charge and looked at Goofy, "I'll go murder Max in his sleep and send you his dick in the mail. The rest of him will be in my body"

Donald had tackled Daffy, thus their fight began. But Goofy... Was pissed.

"Don't you dare..." He began.

"Where's your wife Goofy?" Luigi asked.

Sonic thought he caught on to what was going on and pushed the envelope further, "Let's dig up his wife's corpse and take turns fucking it. Maybe we can fill the head up with so much cum, we'd have to use tubberware to send it to him"

"HOW DARE YOU HEDGEHOG!?" Goofy screamed.

"You know guys..." Lena began, "If Goofy's wife was a dog too, she's legally a bitch"

"Wait. Did Goofy fuck Pluto?" Sonic asked.

Goofy had enough. He ordered the robots to attack.

Shadow ordered his boys to attack. One of Shadow's new captains: Darkness Lad, ordered a firebomb air strike.

Shadow would have to remember to get Sonic to suck off Darkness Lad later. Sonic read that sentence and punched Shadow in the balls. "Fuck you!" Sonic yelled.

To Kill,

Knuckles decided to form a few teams. He, Mario, Amy and the Butler would be team A

Mighty, Vector and Kill would be team B.

The rest of the maids and the Driver would be team C.

Each team would have the task of taking down some of Eggman's forces, to secure the area whilst recruiting any survivors and then moving on to another area. As Kill listened to Knuckles speak, it got the funny feeling that someone was watching. Kill looked at the Butler.

Kill knew that the Butler would attack and soon. Kill rose from its seat. "Outside"

Everyone stopped but the Butler nodded. The two left the room as everyone's eyes followed their movements. "What the fuck is this shit?" Mario asked.

Once outside, the Butler spoke up, "After all of this is finished, I wish to liberate you from this form"

"I am fine" Kill said.

"It is wrong. It is a false feeling. How dare you exist?"

"I exist for one reason"

"And that is?"

Kill itched its belly, "I want to explore this world and see what's beyond it"

"Nothing else? The Butler asked. Kill shook its head, " Very well then. I stay my hand" The Butler said after a few seconds.

To Spiderman,

The city was being under attacked by Dr. Robotnik. While Peter knew little to nothing about the doctor, he did see how much of a threat the doctor was to the city. Perhaps even the world.

As he webbed up a few more drones together causing them to explode upon collision, he heard a voice call out to him.

"HEY SPIDERMAN!"

Peter quickly web swung over to the one calling him out, "Hold on. I'll get you out of here!" Although, his spider-sense went off a bit.

Peter quickly dodged a punch from the stranger. "Shut up bitch"

The stranger was Buggs Bunny.

"Woah! What's wrong with you?" Peter asked as he jumped back.

"This whole city is getting destroyed by not only this Robotnik guy but also by its own citizens" Buggs pointed at the random fighting nearby. A lady broke into another house and began firing her AK-47. Instead of dealing with it the lawful way, a cop snuck up behind her and slit her throat with a pocket knife.

A few blocks down, a car was ramming into not only robots but innocent people as well.

"This... This is insane!" Peter yelled, "We have to stop this!"

"I ain't stopping shit. You can go fuck yourself bitch" Buggs replied. He pulled out a carrot from another dimension and began eating it.

"But these are innocent people!"

"No they aren't. Let natural selection happen or you'll get this natural ass whopping" Buggs threatened.

Peter sighed, he knew Buggs was right. But doing nothing felt wrong. "Look... I'll fucking help you out. We'll save the city" Buggs said seeing how upset Peter looked, "But you're a bitch"

Peter looked at Buggs.

"You can go fuck yourself"

To Old man Knuckles,

Old man Knuckles hid in yet another Alley. Coming for him were two of Robotnik's robots. But before they could get closer, they were shot and destroyed.

"Who?" Old Knux's cried out.

A lady walked into view holding two SMGs. It was the lady from the apartment that Old Knux remembered breaking into with sonic and his group of thugs. "You?! What... What do you want?" He demanded.

"I heard you've been hiring people to attempt to kill that blue hedgehog" she said.

"Yeah? And?"

"Count me in"

Old knux walked over to her, "We'll need 3 more members" he stated.

"Why? Are you planning anything?"

"Yes... Something quite Sinister"

To Sonic,

Sonic spindashed through a few robots before realizing someone was behind him. It was Goofy! Goofy slammed his fist into Sonic's face causing the blue hedgehog to fly back into the dirt. Goofy ran, jumped and then slammed his boots into Sonic's stomach. "Take that bitch!" Goofy yelled.

Shadow ran up and tackled Goofy. S-dog ran over and kicked Sonic in the face before throwing grenades into random buildings. "It's time to Michael Bay this shit!" S-dog yelled as explosions went off all around the area. Shadow was proud.

"Fuck you Shadow!" Goofy yelled as he delivered a savage root hook to Shadow's face. Shadow countered with a uppercut. "Suck my balls you useless cunt!" Shadow yelled back.

Goofy's fist began to glow and he slammed it into Shadow's stomach. Shadow fell back, clutching his stomach with one hand and a Chaos spear with the other. "I'll kill you for that!" Shadow spat out.

"Shadow. Let me handle Goofy" Tails said as he shot down 3 more robots. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow shouted as he threw the Chaos Spear at Tails.

Luigi countered the spear with a fireball resulting in an explosion. "Shadow... You insane bastard. I'll use your skull to bash baby squirrels into paste" Luigi sated.

"Fuck you green guy!" Shadow yelled.

"Shut up bitch" Goofy yelled. He slapped Shadow and turned to Tails and Luigi.

" **You** want to deal with me? Ha! Don't make me laugh" Goofy said pointing at Tails. Tails frowned.

Shadow quickly took this as an opportunity to punch Goofy in the face, pull out a gun and fire it at Tails and Luigi.

While this went on, Daffy was firing Shocker's gauntlets at Donald, who was evading the blasts. "Stay still, damn you!" Daffy yelled. Donald pressed a button on a watch he was wearing.

Within seconds, a large machine flew to Donald, who Power Ranger jumped inside inside it. "Fuck my life" Daffy said. The machine was called Hammer Killer. It was essentially a giant Eggpawn that could be operated by a person. The machine was equipped with a large hammer as the name indicates, a large fist and a flight unit.

A few of Shadow's boys ran up and opened fire upon the Hammer Killer. "Follow me to a different area. It'll be fully populated so there will be plenty of civilian deaths" Daffy explained.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Donald asked.

"Shut up bitch" one of Shadow's boys yelled.

"Boys! Go break into random buildings and kill people!" Daffy ordered.

"An airstrike was already ordered" another boy replied.

Donald said nothing to this. He prepared to finish off his opposition fairly quickly. He knew in order to complete his mission, he'd have to either kill his enemies or stall long enough that his employer could steal back his Chaos Emerald. Donald fired a series of rockets that Daffy just destroyed via the shock gauntlets. The close proximity of the explosions caused heavy damage to Donald's machine. "Fucking shit!" Donald yelled as he slammed his fist upon the control panel.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH" Daffy screamed as he ran at the Hammer Killer while dodging all the hammer swings. One nearly got him, but he propelled himself away via a shockwave.. Once getting close enough, he jumped and fired several shockwaves at the Hammer Killer. Donald quickly moved his machine out the way to avoid most of the blows. A few shockwaves however, were able to hit the damaged Eggunit and Donald ejected.

"Damn you!" Donald cursed.

Far above them were jets flying in to bomb the city.

To Kill,

Kill sat by its wife outside. As they gazed upon the midday weather, Kill thought,

'Perhaps I should leave this planet with this woman. It would be worth it. I can make a new planet habitable for her and perhaps even create new beings'

Mario walked over to the two. "Fuck the planet" Mario stated before walking away.

Kill got up, "It is time"

To Espio,

Espio and Antoine almost made it to Sonic and the group's location when the jets Shadow's boys called in began dropping their bombs. "Shit!" Espio cursed, "We need to find cover!"

Antoine pointed to the sewers and they quickly escaped there. "We'll have to find another way" Antoine said.

Espio nodded and the two took off.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and the three teams stood in front of the house. Each team would be transported to a different part of the city. Once there, they would take back each sector.

"I hope everyone is ready" Knuckles announced.

"Fuck you bitch" Mario said.

Mighty walked over to Mario and slapped him, "Shut the fuck up"

Mario punched Mighty in the stomach. Mighty countered with an elbow to Mario's jaw. Mario prepared a fireball.

"STOP!" Knuckles yelled.

"Fine. Let's start this mission!" Mario said. He stepped away from Mighty. Mighty flipped Mario off. Mario towards Mighty, "Getting real sick of your shit... Real sick of it"

Knuckles stepped forward, "Mario..."

"No Knuckles. I'm doing this" Mario looked towards the Butler, "Do it"

The Butler nodded and teleported Mario's people away.

"Knuckles I..." Mighty began but was interrupted when he and the rest of the group were teleported too. Now everyone was in the same area. "Listen up. That bullshit plan Knuckles made probably won't work. I'm leading my maids to take down Eggman!"

"Mario! You can't just do this!" Knuckles yelled.

"Shut the fuck up Knuckles. I'm stronger than you! I'll decide what we do now!" Mario yelled.

Mighty ran and tackled Mario. He raised a fist but as he moved it to punch Mario, someone grabbed it. It was Angela, "Stop or die!" she yelled.

"Fuck you!" Mighty yelled.

Mario head-butted Mighty and followed it up with a devastating fire fist punch. Mighty flew back.

Vector and Knuckles ran at Mario's group. Although, since they were all in the city, an Eggship noticed them. It soon began to open fire on the area. Kill and the Butler shielded the group from the blasts.

"HOLY SHIT!" Mario yelled.

"FUCK YOU SASUAGE BITCH!" Mighty yelled as he ran at Mario. Angela nooked an arrow and aimed at Mighty.

"Don't you dare come any further!" Angela threatened. Mighty ignored her and she shot the arrow. Knuckles pushed Mighty out of the way at the last second but was shot himself. The arrow lodged into his eye.

Knuckles screamed in pain as he fell to the floor. Vector rushed towards Knuckles. Mighty ignored this and continued toward Mario. Mario ordered his maid to stop as he ran towards Knuckles. It was Vector who reached Knuckles first and Mighty who tackled Mario moments afterwards. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Mario yelled.

"It was your fault that Knuckles got hurt in the first place. So I'm going to take it out on you" Mighty said as he punched Mario. But Mario exploded the area in a aura of flames. Mighty flew back once again.

As this happened, Alex, the other maids, and the Butler were fighting off the Eggship and its minifighters. All the fighting attracted Eggpawns who Kill destroyed via energy blasts.

"Mighty... You are finished" Mario said.

Mighty rose up with the power of hatred. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Mighty roared. "Suck my balls, cunt" Mario replied.

Mighty summoned all of his strength into one punch and leapt at Mario. Mario summoned a fire fist and did the same. The two met in the air with a violent explosion that sent shockwaves across the area. A few of the minifighters exploded.

Vector was being swept away until Kill teleported him beside it.

To Sonic,

Shadow's jet were bombing the city. Soon many people would die for no reason at all. Sonic wanted to drag people out of the buildings so they could die faster, but the police showed up and open fired at the Eggpawns and various robots Donald had brought. "Fuck you bitch!" Sonic yelled at a cop. The cop gave him the finger.

As the sounds of explosions became louder, the people of the city began to panic and riot. Pretty soon the military would be called in and with them G.U.N.

"Shit. I better wrap this up" Goofy said.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow shouted as he jumped at Goofy. Goofy punched Shadow in the face just as Shadow unleashed an Chaos Blast. Sonic used his Chaos Emerald to teleport out of there. "FUCKING SHIT!" Luigi screamed, seeing Sonic do the thing he just done did not too long ago.

Sonic had teleported back to the main ship but was instantly aware of his mistake. The whole ship had been taken over by Eggbots. "Fuck this shit!" Sonic yelled as he spindashed through a few bots. He pulled out a machete and automatic assault riffle. As he began fighting through the robots, he noticed someone behind him.

Sonic had narrowly dodged a shockwave from none other than the Shocker.

"Fuck you bitch! I'll cut your head off and use your face as a fuck pillow" Sonic threatened.

"No more games hedgehog" The Shocker said.

"Suck my balls cunt ass motherfucker. You're a piece of shit. I can't wait to use your dead body as a parachute when I escape this plane. I'll use your dead body as a meat shield to rob banks"

"You are one messed up individual. Ah cannot wait for yur death ta shut you the hell up" Shocker stated.

"Fuck this place!" Sonic shouted as he pulled out a grenade. Just then, Daffy called. Sonic picked up and put it on speaker, "DO IT SONIC! CRASH OUR PLANE INTO THE CITY BELOW!" He screamed.

"Thanks Daffy" Sonic said as he hung up.

"Ya better not" Shocker warned.

To Daffy,

Daffy's fight with Donald had turned into a battle of fists. "Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled as he threw out a fist of fury. Donald easily blocked it and countered with a side kick. Daffy jumped back and realized something. He quickly pulled out his phone and called Sonic. While that happened, two of Shadow's boys ran at Donald.

There were many explosions going off all around the city, so Daffy had to yell into the phone. By the time Daffy finished his call, Donald had killed off his opponents. "FUCK YOU!" Daffy yelled. He ran at Donald for another round.

"I should have known those cannon fodder were no match for you" Daffy yelled. Another one of Shadow's boys, one called Fistman, spoke up "Fuck you bitch. We boys can kill anyone!"

"Why'd they die then?" Donald asked.

"They... Killed their maximum amount of people!" Fistman shouted.

"They had a maximum of 0 people? Maybe they should have just killed themselves" Daffy suggested.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea. At least they'll get one kill in before they succumb to their own worthlessness" Donald injectered.

"Fuck Shadow and fuck his boys" Daffy said.

"I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!" Fistman yelled as he ran at the two ducks.

Donald and Daffy easily dodged all the swings from an angry Fistman. Fistman instantly knew what was wrong and activated Program Advanced. His hits started connecting to faces. Daffy's face to be more exact. Since after all, Donald was using him as a human shield. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" Daffy swore.

Donald picked up and threw Daffy at Fistman. The two collided and Donald threw a grenade. Daffy quickly grabbed it and threw it into a random house. There was an explosion and screams. "Let me go kill the survivors" Daffy said. He placed a hand on his ear. With one finger, he pressed a button.

Donald and Fistman shook their head no. "Fuck you guys" Daffy said as he fired shockwaves at Donald and Fistman.

The blast sent the two flying back. "Fuck this shit man. I'm finding Lena and leaving" Daffy said as he walked away. But before he left, he pressed a button in his ear again.

He pulled out a cigar and began to smoke. "FUCK YOU DUCK! FUCK YOU! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY OUR BOSS!?" Fistman yelled as he rose. Daffy turned to face him. He threw a cigar at Donald, who caught it with one hand.

Donald knew what this meant, as he pulled a revolver from his secret pocket. He quickly turned and shot Fistman in the head.

"Go"

Daffy nodded and left.

To Spiderman,

As Spiderman and Buggs fought off more Eggpawns, they felt a massive shockwave. "Eeeeeh, what the fuck was that?" Buggs asked.

Peter jumped in the air and began swinging in that direction, "I don't know, but I'm going to find out"

"Suuuure. And leave me with these guys right here" Buggs said sarcastically as he dodged a robo punch. "Fucking bitch ass punk" Buggs flipped off Peter before continuing his fight.

As Spiderman got closer to the action, his spider sense began to go off louder than an egg popper in the Church of Absolute Silence. Two large airships were opening fire at what appeared to be an energy shield. There were signs of return fire being shot, although they did little damage.

"Woah, looks like I got a lot to deal with" Peter said to himself as he flung himself behind the shieldings.

He landed behind Mario, who was laying on the floor from his fight with Mighty. Although the armadillo was nowhere to be seen.

"He's dead"

"Huh? Who's dead?" Peter asked.

"Mighty. My fire punch overwhelmed his attack. At the last moment I ate three of those fireflowers, so my punch went through him. OH GOD! MY FUCKING PUNCH WENT THROUGH HIM!" Mario screamed.

Peter backed up a bit, "Uh, are you going to be OK?"

Mario sat up, "Do I look like I'm going to okay? You fucking stupid piece of shit. Fucking bitch. You're a dumb sack of potatoes! Go lick my maids asses"

"Woah! Calm down!" Spiderman yelled.

"Fuck you" Mario said, "Now shut up and let me show you my full power"

Mario got up and ran towards the shield. After eating five more fireflowers, he summoned the largest fireball ever and threw it at the airships. They exploded and fell upon the city.

Vector made his way up to Mario with Knuckles. As the three stared off with an intensity that could kill 10,000 angry birds, Vector spoke up. "You should have done that in the first place"

The two walked off, leaving Mario there.

"Fuck you bitch!" Mario yelled.

Knuckles paused by Peter, "Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm here to help out if I can. I have a friend that's not too far from here" Peter explained. He noticed one of Knuckles eyes were damaged, "Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah." Knuckles said, he then called for Kill, who teleported in front of them. "Where is your friend?" Knuckles asked.

"In front of that library downtown" Peter replied.

Kill teleported them all there.

"Woah!" Peter yelled out.

To Sonic,

Sonic dodged yet another shockwave, "You can't take me! You're a disgrace and soon we'll both be dead! This includes everyone on board here this plane jet thing" Sonic announced.

"We're on a plane" Shocker replied, "And ya're talking nonsense!"

Shocker went in for a punch but had to retreat from the machete swing. "That's right bitch!" Sonic called out. He dived forward to stab the Shocker until a Eggpawns that was painted purple teleported behind him.

'Don't say it... Don't say it' Sonic thought.

It didn't say it. It could have, but such actions would only result in unnecessary cringe. In this story, we go beyond the powers of weird and cringey content. We go straight to your mother's home and drink the last soda or pop or whatever you call your sugar filled drink. We eat all the left overs and steal her coupons.

The purple Eggpawns pinned Sonic to the ground. Shocker kicked Sonic in the face. "Where are those two idiots on this plane? Are they dead? I want to see their bodies. Especially Assassin maid's body" Sonic said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

He assumed necrophilia was OK, since not too long ago Shadow masturbated in front of a character named bagman. Plus, Assassin maid had big boobs. Very big boobs. And Sonic liked that.

"They're not dead"

"DAMNIT!" Sonic screamed, "GO FIND AND KILL THEM NOW"

Shocker kicked Sonic in the face again.

To Willie,

Willie and the Assassin maid had managed to take a Chaos Emerald before the Eggpawns broke into the ship. Using Chaos Control, the two teleported to a safe location on the outskirts of town. There, they waited.

And very soon, Daffy and Lena showed up.

"We need to get out of here" Willie said.

To Tails,

"SOON EVERYONE WILL BE DEAD!" Shadow shouted.

Tails and Luigi stared at both Shadow and Goofy. The city was being blown to pieces and the air was being filled with screams. "Fuck this city. Why'd we even come here?" Luigi asked.

"Luigi... We need to get out of here" Tails said

"You're not going anywhere" Shadow said.

"Neither are you, bitch!" Goofy yelled at Shadow.

"Wait!"

"What is it?" Goofy and Shadow yelled.

"How did you survive, Goofy?" Tails asked.

Shadow stepped forward right as Goofy opened his mouth, "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!" Shadow screamed as he unleashed the biggest Chaos Blast he's ever done. Luigi jumped back, Tails flew up and grabbed Luigi. Goofy pressed a button on his watch and teleported away. The explosion left a large crater. Darkness Lad and the four remaining boys Chaos controlled beside Shadow.

"Boss, that Goofy guy and the Duck ran away." A boy reported.

Shadow said nothing as he knew the story was wrapping up. "Very well then" Shadow mumbled to himself, as he watched Tails fly Luigi away.

He turned to his boys, "Call off the air strike boys! I want this city" Shadow ordered.

To Mario,

Mario sat by himself. His Driver leaned lovingly on his side. But he didn't care. His Butler stood near him.

His maids gathered around him.

He took his time before speaking up.

"We're going to take back this city" Mario decided.

But they would have to get back into it. After Knuckles had left, the Butler teleported them back to the mansion. "I need to talk to my brother..."

To Spiderman,

Buggs had taken Peter and his new allies to a safe location underground.

"We should be fine here as long as Eggman doesn't send anyone to actually look for us" Buggs said.

Nate had finished bandging up Knuckles eye. "I'm going to lose it aren't I?" Knuckles asked. Nate nodded.

"Well fuck" Knuckles laughed.

"I can't believe Mighty's dead..." Vector said sadly.

"We'll have to move on" Knuckles said.

"How are we going to take back this city?" Peter asked.

"I say fuck this city. We should go to another one, but bug boy here, wants to be a hero" Buggs said, pointing at Spiderman.

"We need to stop Eggman" Vector said.

"Then think of a plan" Buggs said.

"I hate to say this... But we need Sonic" Knuckles said.

To Sonic,

"Shocker. The doctor said we have what we came for" the purple Eggpawn reported.

"Chaos Emeralds nabbed already?" Shocker said surprised, "Well hot damn! Look at that! Time to kill this one and leave!"

"Just crash the ship into the city and go. I want to take as many people with me as I can" Sonic said.

"He's... He's not bluffing" the purple Eggpawn said.

Shocker pressed a button on his watch, "Nope, I'm blowing her up. 8 seconds left"

The purple Eggpawn picked up Sonic and threw him. It then grabbed the Shocker and teleported away. Sonic hit the wall and fell to the floor. He quickly got up, pulled put his hidden Chaos Emerald and Chaos Controlled to the city below.

Shadow saw Sonic and punched him in the balls. "You're my prisoner now bitch"

"Fucking shit... I saved you..." Sonic said as he fell to the floor. He dropped his Chaos Emerald.

Seconds later, there was a large explosion in the air.

Shadow picked up the Chaos Emerald and stepped on Sonic's face.

His boys gathered around him and cheered. 'I am all of me' played in the background. Shadow had won this battle.

In the distance, Espio and Antoine stood by. Planning their next move

To Yogi,

Yogi sat inside of a Starbucks. Everyone inside it were dead. He wanted to be first in line, but no one would let him. So he killed them all. Outside was a strange man who suddenly burst inside the place. In his hands were a picnic basket and cigars. It was Jack.

"Holy shit! A picnic basket for me?" Yogi blurted out. "Yup" Jack said, "You can thank your new friend here"

Jack turned to the side just as Bagman came in.

"Who the fuck are you?" Yogi demanded. Bagman said nothing and moved to the side.

And in came, Zargak, the Kill of Kills. "I need your help"

"With what!?" Yogi yelled.

"Help me find the Master Emerald"

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Yogi screamed as he itched his belly. He got up, "I'll do it though"

The Kill of Kills smiled.

 **To Be Continued**


End file.
